Lesbian dating a 'straight' girl...
Hopefully I won't babble too much so bear with me...
I was dating this girl but had an interest in her friend the whole time. The friend was dating a man when I met her. I thought she was straight, maybe curious but def not gay. While away on vacation (not with the girl I was dating) the friend let the cat out of the bag and told me how she felt and how she's wanted to be with me since she first met me. I ended things with the girl and started dating the friend (mind you I never date friends, I'm not trying to hurt people or cause drama). That was a month ago.
We've spend every weekend together pretty much living together 3 days a week. Things have been great, she lives about an hr away so we spend a lot of time talking or skyping. We've both said how happy we are together, and the whole 'i miss you' is said often. Then recently (this past weekend) we spent it with her mom. Her mom know's that we're together (she's actually told most of her friends and some family that she's dating a girl. All of them are very supportive of it). The weekend was great, although we weren't so touchy/feely (out of respect of her mother obviously) we had a blast. I leave to come home and then all of a sudden she doesn't respond to my text, or my call. The next afternoon she tells me 'we need to talk' so we talk. She tells me that she thinks I'm amazing, and she loves spending time with me , etc. Nothing negative at all... untill she says 'and if you were a guy we would be married'. (this tore my heart out) anyway so now she needs to figure out if she can 'be with a girl'. We've had sex several times, taking turns so its obvious that she's not afraid that but she just can't figure out if she can go with out 'penis'.
We've continued to chat through text no where near the amount we used to. We had a phone conversation the other night (we didn't discuss anything that was going on between us). Then today she texts me to tell me that she can't decide and it's not fair for her to string me along.
Am I holding on to straws... should I just cut my losses, and let me heart heal... I don't normally date straight girls pretty much for fear of this happening. She's obviously not completely straight and some of my friends think she might be getting scared cause things are so good and she might be having 'real' feelings for me and now she feels like she needs to 'decide' on which she likes more. Me or Penis...
HELP!!