I'm e-dating.

keshawn · #1 Oct 28, 2009, 04:49 AM

Well i don't have time to date anyone practically. So for the last 7 months i have been tryin e-datin. so, there was this girl whom i really like and was with her for like 2 months when i screwed it all up and she dumped me. I was really sorry for what i did but she wouldnt forgive me. I thought i had to move on so i dated this another girl and shes the sweetest thing to ever happen in my life and we are together for the last three months. The problem is that after all this time my ex wants me back! Since i havent yet met both of them i dont think im in love with either of them but i like both of them. Ppl with experiences help me..does e-datin work? They are both from the USA and i'm from Australia! And i wont be able to go to the states for another two years.Both of them thinks thats not a problem. Should i get back with my ex? if yes what should i say to my present gf?

kctiger · Oct 28, 2009, 04:53 AM

I think there is a problem inherent with e-dating and that is that everyone has a different perception of what a relationship is. Have you talked to either of these girls on the phone, seen pics etc? The internet is always an interesting way to meet people. You can be anyone you want on the internet and it requires a large amount of trust that often times is given away too quickly.

E-dating works but I think it works best by at least talking to girls in your area, or at least your country. I live in the USA and I would be extremely cautious about trying to date a person from another country over the internet. I don't think you see that too often.

The lines of communication are clearly blurred here and in my eyes, I would probably leave them both alone and shoot for something a little more realistic. Just my opinion.

redhed35 · Oct 28, 2009, 04:54 AM

so its like a pen pal?

australia is a big country,surely you have not exhausted every dating possiblity there!

have you?

you dont have time to date in real time,but you have time to develop a friendship on line?

surely that must take sometime and effort?

instead of hugging a computer screen and worrying about a girl who you wont see for 2 years,maybe...why not try the real thing?

secret234 · Oct 28, 2009, 12:54 PM

try to find somone in your area

Rize · Oct 30, 2009, 05:13 PM

you have to understand, online dating is not serious. it can be, sure. But this is all infatuation, just feeling, and heck maybe somtimes down the road you'll have feeling for another girl and you'll be stuck between 3. Feelings come and go and i know its hard to give up on people you have feelings for because you don't want to go through that "break up pain". But you have to ask yourself, what are you getting out of this? Do i really know them? Is this worth raking my brain over enough to post this here? People sometimes have strong feelings for people they havent met online and than once they do, the passion might not be there in preson. Or it may. Ur just excited, infatuated, thinking of the possibilites when ur dating online. I think in my opinion, the mature thing would be to just have a casual relationship as friends and keep in touch with both. Because honestly wats the difference? You still talking to them. Nothing has changed. Its not like you see them or do stuff or know them in person (which is a whole different experience ina relationship. to be able to spend time, cherish that silence etc.). Online dating, expecially when far can be dangerous in a way because you get so wrapped and really start to care that you loose what you regularly used to do. And most importantly, you loose touch with reality. The real thing starts to feel akward and you'll be new to the game all over again. U don't go out as much etc. Eventually ur going to be ending up witha person thats there, not a computer screen. I know u said u don't love them but ur going in that path. If you spend alot of time in a "relationship" with these people and it doesn't play to ur cards, their not how they seem, or u might never meet them, you'll have wasted your time and have gotten really hurt. Its better to let go now and suck up the pain than to be damaged at the end. If you don't have time for a relationship than don't have one yet. Its as if you just need someone because ur not doing anything and going out with them but u just have them to know u have them. In that case find somone who fits ur time shedule, or take a break, but don't take this seriously to have to worry and ask this. (just my opinion)

secret234 · Oct 30, 2009, 06:09 PM

That was beautiful couldnt have put it better myself

Altenweg · Oct 30, 2009, 06:15 PM

Internet chatting is fine, internet dating, not so much.

The internet is a great place for scammers, pedophiles and many other people that you probably wouldn't want to meet in real life.

Try meeting a girl face to face, so you can develop a real relationship, one that has substance and one that can move forward. Right now you're running around in circles.

You're busy, but if you have time to type, you have time to date. Just get out there, find a real girl, not just one on a computer monitor.

Jake2008 · Oct 30, 2009, 07:59 PM

In some ways I think that e-dating replaces the old fashioned letter writing. Way back when, when young men were off to war, communication was through letters, and not very often. So many marriages took place; war brides moved to new countries with men they barely knew, new lives were started together.

Now we have instant communication, webcams to actually see a person across the world in real time, and there is no 'distance' that is too great.

Initially, because people have to communicate, the written, or typed sentences, and information exchanged between the two parties, is maybe more than a typical first date, face to face. At least when you do meet up with your e-date, you have a (usually) long history of getting to know eachother, without the usual encumbrances of first date awkwardness, long pauses, and spinnach stuck on your front tooth.

In other words, an impression is made online. If it is a good impression, you can go further, talk more, get to know the person, and be far more comfortable with that person because you already know their likes, dislikes, etc. If the impression is poor, or communication is difficult, you will know almost instantly, and poof, it's over.

I personally think it is a safe way to meet and learn about eachother. The only thing missing is the face to face, but when that happens, it will be far more natural than having no information or history between the two parties.

As to being dumped by the first girl. Well, she dumped you, you moved on. It is up to you to go down that road again, or see what comes of girl #2. Personally, I don't think it is ever a good idea to go backwards. What's done is done, let it go.

artlady · Oct 30, 2009, 08:48 PM

This is what I know.

I love my friends on line.I do.

My friends here and my friends on my art site.

I remember when my eldest son met a girl and was hooking up with her I thought it was crazy.I said you cant possibly know who she is .

I take that back now. Because I love so many people

Maybe we cant even lie on line and we are forced to be who we.
Maybe we are who we are a little easier because we dont have that face to face ...that makes people cower.
I 'm not a cowerer but I feel for people who are.

Bottom line,be smart and cover your own back,you can still love