I'm dating a married man. ((how dumb does that sound!))

Chris Briffa · May 14, 2007, 07:39 AM

If he suckes than all you have to do is to tell him to remember about his family and that he is doing something wrong.than all you have to do is to leave him alone

iAMfromHuntersBar · May 14, 2007, 08:20 AM

Firstly, you slept with him the day his son was born? That did actually make me sick in my mouth a little bit! There really is absolutly no excuse for that, and I'm sure you feel ashamed for that, or at least aught to!

If you do love each other, and he's doing this for you, you'd better stand by him. This is going to tear him apart, so you best hope you have an extremely strong relationship otherwise he's going to feel very alone, especially in the public eye!

Finally, make sure he's definitely telling you the truth! It seems like the "I'm leaving my wife, just not yet" is a staple line of adulterers world-wide!

fix-what-you-broke · May 14, 2007, 10:48 AM

This story sounds all too famillier..sorry...but it does...I'm leaving my wife for you, you are my angel blah blah blah.that's what they all say, the thing is this..how many others has he or will he say this to?
His wife gained weight, his wife doesn't cook, etc etc, have you met her? I'm sure his wife is blissfully unaware of all this lack of love, especially in the morning when he gets out of their bed to come see you.
Just my thoughts.
Could you really be with a man who openly cheats on his wife? You know the story, so he leaves her,then gets with you..how long before he is doing the same with you? In some bar one night..yeah my girlfriend has gained weight and we don't have sex anymore.
Think with your head not your heart.
Me? I would cut all contact and tell him to find me when he is divorced..then you will know his true intentions.

LadyLuck1269 · May 28, 2007, 10:47 PM

The words............HOME WRECKER........comes to mind when I read your post!
The only thing I can't figure out is...... Which one did it first?

Mom of 2 · May 28, 2007, 11:24 PM

The fact that your relationship started out with a lie should be a red flag. If he lied once, he can lie again. Also, why is a married man on My Space? I thought that was a space for 20 something's and younger. There is a lot of rationalizing going on. I think that a lot of soul searching has to occur. If you feel uncomfortable about this situation, you need to follow your gut instinct.

NowWhat · May 29, 2007, 06:41 AM

The best thing you can do is to stay away from him. At least until he is divorced. If he is some big football star - I find it arrogant to think that you wouldn't be smart enough to figure out his marital status. That should bother you.
You can let him know how you feel - but you can't be with him until he is free. You know, once he asks her for a divorce - it could take months on end to get a divorce.
If this is true love - then you can wait it out.
But, what happens when he doesn't leave his wife and you have to start sneaking around because he's in the public eye. He has to hide you away like a dirty little secret. How is that going to make you feel?
Save yourself from that. Respect his commitment enough with his wife and family and let this go. If it is meant to be then it will be - but you can not position yourself in another person's marriage - the end result is never good.

Mom of 2 · May 29, 2007, 08:00 AM

I am sorry if I feel a little skeptical about this situation. Why is it always the wife's fault that the marriage went bad? Remember, there is always two sides to every story. I feel sorry for the wife, as she just gave birth to a baby. He apparently "loved" her enough for him to sleep with her and make another life. You say that he was starting to have doubts a couple of weeks after they married? Why didn't he do something about it then? I'm sorry, I just can't see a woman forcing a big-time football player into having sex with her. He wanted it. I don't believe his story. I think that he is pulling your chain and he truly does not have any plans to do anything about "his situation" in the very near future. I also think that you should stay away from him. I don't see this divorce as taking only months to go through, unless he is willing to give up A LOT just to get out of it. If anything, this will take years to go through. Look at Urlacher and he did not even marry the girl. These guys don't want to give up anything. He will most likely use his career to hide behind and say, "I have to do this, I have to do that or else it will ruin my career. Blah, blah, blah." My God, he had sex with you the day that his child was born. I bet that is mostly because he knew that he would not be able to get any for at least 4 to 6 weeks!

Megg · May 29, 2007, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mom of 2

The fact that your relationship started out with a lie should be a red flag. If he lied once, he can lie again.

Preach it! A lie is a lie is a lie. First impressions are the building stone of relationships. If you were married and found out your husband was cheating, how'd you feel? Do unto other's as you'd have them do to you. I may not be religious, but that right there sums it all up. What goes around WILL come around. What your doing can't be changed, only stopped. You've done the damage to three people. You his wife and him. If he can't be man enough to stop it you should be women enough to. Sorry but in my opinion you've destoryed yourself by being with a married man. People will never see you the same way and you can't blame us. You problably woln't ever have a real relationship because of this. It really doesn't even matter IF he was unhappy. Once married always married in my eyes. Divorce is for weak people in not all but most cases. Who want an easy way out of a situation that isn't going their way. You screwed yourself and no pity here sister.

rachie · May 31, 2007, 01:20 PM

First of all if this man is weak enough to let his family tell him who to marry, HELLO--no backbone. Second, he actually listened ( assuming this story he is telling you is true, which of course we don't know because you are ONLY getting his side)
Third, there is a child involved. No, check that--that should be reason number one to WALK AWAY. To put a precious child in the middle of a a twisted drama is not fair. The child is in fact the innocent party here. Whatever his problems, whatever his reasons --IT doesn't MATTER. WALK AWAY. There are highly qualified psychologists he can go to for any mental anguish or problems he is facing, and a pastor or preist would be an excellent choice for him to talk to about his relationship troubles. Not you. He is married. Period. And until he is not, I suggest you spare yourself the heartache and find someone who is man enough to live with integrity and honor. Why would you want anything less? If you were really his "best friend" he would care enough about you NOT to have an affair with you and risk hurting you so deeply.
This man is a snake. He may be a smooth snake, a pretty one, and a rich one at that, but a snake is a snake.

I'm dating a married man. ((how dumb does that sound!))

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