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Hi, Im "Hurtin". I have an issues that has come up a couple times..
I have talked with my counsellor about this before .. But Im not sure
if thats only her opinion.. Okay so here is my Issue. I'm fifteen .. and Im
dating someone who is turning eighteen in like a month.. I have been dating him
for like.. two months.. But him and I have been inlove for at least a year...
we finally thought we were able to date.. But Once I told my father..
he went CRAZY.. Ive never heard him say so many threats.. (towards
my boyfriend) .. My grandparents love him.. (They are the ones I live with)
.. My father kinda disowned me because of it.. but thats beside the point..
We have had sex.. Which will be considered "illegal" in like a month.. But
atm.. its not.. And well his mom is starting to get uptight about it..
She doesn't even like us sharing a bed now.. (She knows we've had sex.. )
And now shes starting to say .. Its just not right.. (for us to sleep beside each other)
I would like to know.. If in a month.. is it actually just going to be all of a sudden
illegal? .. Like if you think about it .. The day he turns eighteen .. hes only one
day older then he was yesterday.. kinda thing.. you know? .. so I just don't understand
why he can be charged nor why he can be put in jail..
What If I wanted it.. Like if we do anything sexual.. WHY does he have to
get introuble.. is there anything I can do to prove to everyone..
Hes not the bad guy..
If you are not living with your father and are having trouble with him and you are living under the right circumstances you can petition the court to grant you emancipation. This would be the same as saying you are have the rights of an 18 year old.
Of course I am not sure about your state so if you post your question about it under the Law section maybe someone will see it and give you the right answer.
You are 15, depending on what state you live in you are probably under the age of consent. That means its ALREADY illegal for you to have sexual relations. Doesn't matter how old he is. That's probably why his mother is freaking because if your father reports him to the police, he could be prosecuted and jailed.
The deed is done, so your best option is to do what your parents want so they don't go to the police.
Emancipation seldom actually works, first you have to afford to do it, which most teens don't have a full time job and go to high school and have enough money for an attorney.
Most courts I have seen don't see you living with grandma ( they could just get custody) they want to see ou affording to live on your own and pay all of your own bills.
Next they want there to be a problem that requries you to do this, Your father getting upset over you having sex with a older boy, will actually show him as a good father to most courts.
The fact is depending on when you started having sex, few places allow a 15 year old, and no place int he US allows a 14 year to legally have sex.
So don't know why you think in a month it will be illegal, it may change from a misdemeanor to a felony but it is still rape in most places. And your dad can report it if he wishes.
So if you are not at home because of this, time for you to do what dad says and stop seeing this man.
Okayy.. I understand why she is uptight now..
But the thing is.. I want to know If there is anything I can
do .. like say my father does report him to the police..
Like No one in my family knows Im having a sexual relationship
with him.. so they don't really have a right to go to the police.. right?
Ive lived with my grandparents for over a year now.. Why? .. because my father and my step mother abused me.. so Its not that Im stuck up.. and not listening to him.. Im not allowed to
If they beleive you are having sex, they may turn it over to children welfare and more. And of course if you ended up pregnant that would be enough proof also.
I think the bigger issue is that you are 15 and having sex, and have a history of being abused. I think you are really young for this serious of a relationship, and any man of 18 - or older teen even - should be able to recognize you are too young. I mean, kids turn 15 in the year after the graduate from 8th grade - that's way young.
It is already illegal for your boyfriend to have sex with you, and be aware 17 year olds can be tried as adults. Your family may not know about your sex life but they could certainly find out.
I think you need to talk to your counselor about why you feel like you need to have sex at this age, and push yourself to grow up so fast. And you should not do it any more if you don't want your boyfriend to end up in jail.
What type of abuse did you suffer? Was this reported to the authorities? Did you just move in with your parent's or do they have guardianship over you?
None of that alters the illegality of your sexual relationship.
I also am bothered by this statement; "I have been dating him
for like.. two months.. But him and I have been inlove for at least a year..."
At your age knowing you are in love is an iffy thing. I don't quite understand how you can think you are in love with someone until you have been dating them. If you have been engaging in sexual activity only since you started dating, there is a possiblilty this guy is taking advantage of you because you are letting him into your pants.
But the bottomline here is you are jail bait. If you two are truly in love, then you should wait until you are at least over the age of consent to engage in sexual activity.
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