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my dad wont let me do anything and he sais i shouldnt even be going ot the mall with friends without him! im 12 years old (almost 13) he also thinks i smoke pot whitch i dont! and in the last month or 2 my grades are gone up 60%! I like this guy but im not even aloud to go anywere with him or with him and some friends! I really want to know am i just trying to grow up to fast or ism y dad being over protective he sais i cant have a bf intill im 45 nad if i have on earlier........ he is really protective who i hang out with like im aloud to hang out wiht sluts and whores but not druggies and alcholics! whats the difference! and im not aloud to be out past 7!!! and so again am i wanting to grow up to fast or is my dd just protective?(groeing up to fast aint really it because as far as im concerned my mind cant grow up anymore! im doing everything at home sincei dont have a mom and im even getting a job to help with the bills!)
I am a dad of two girls now grown but let me tell ya
your dad is a guy who knows that there are so many young teen boys out there with one thing on their mind SEX! This may not be true with every boy but you wont be able to convince your dad of that. These boys sometimes have no interest in nothing but having their way with a girl and move on to the next and let me tell you this scares fathers to no end. The times we live in is so very dangerous for a young girl of your age and your father knows this and if he could have his way I am sure you would never leave his sight. I cant explain why he would allow you to hang with as you put it sluts and whores but I think he does not know what they are.....and thinks they are good girls as no father would want his daughter to hang with anyone slutty as it gives anyone who hangs with them the same bad name. Yes I think your too young to go to the mall and such with out him. 13 years old and up is where dads try to start and let go but it does not always work out that way. You may think you can not grow any more mentally but you will learn every year you advance in school there will be tons more for you to learn both from school and the environment you live in. Good luck your freedom is on its way but will take years and you will need to teach your father he can trust you and this only comes from years of proving it.
You are too young to go anywhere unchaperoned in my opinion. My daughter won't be going to the mall by herself until she can drive there by herself.
It is your dad's job to be protective. Since you don't have your mother he has to do double duty. Sorry about your mom.
Enjoy your friends at school and invite them over to your house (if dad allows.) Keep up with your schoolwork - paying a little more attention to spelling and grammar and prove to your father that you are smart and responsible.
Location: Lancaster, Pennsylvania (but grew up near Plymouth, Massachusetts)
Posts: 65
Show your dad that you can be responsible in your attitudes and how you react to his rules. Show him respect even if you disagree with his rules. You will get more independence faster if you can learn to be responsible with what freedom you have been given. If he is lax about letting you hang out with certain girls with reputations show him that you can make the tough decisions by yourself, and choose your friends wisely. Choose friends with good reputations, who's lives reflect the rep they receive. Give this some time don't expect to make changes on your end and have him react right away. Maybe sometime he could take you and your friends to the mall with him. Then he could shop on his own for an hour or two and meet back up with you.
yes, sorry I agree with the dad, 12 is far too young to be going out unsupervised. Perhaps he can be at the mall and let you be with friends for a period of time in the mall with him near in case you need him.
But not at least for a couple more years, even in my small town like "mayberry" 12 year olds are not normally set loose in walmart without a parent around the store somewhere.
I agree with dad. He is only looking out for you. I know you don't understand it right now but you will in the future and you will be thankful when you see what happens to the kids who get to do whatever they want.
And you're getting a job to pay the bills at 12? I don't find that possible at your age.
I'm 11 and aloud out shopping on my own (my town is not huge though), does your neighborhoud have a bad reputation for incedents like this?
Have you got close friends that you have known for a long time and your parents trust them, ask if your aloud to the cinema with them or go shopping with them for and hour or so and promise your parents that you will be back within a certain time limit or they can phone you (if you or your friends have a mobile phone) and ask whats going on. as for the incedents with boys try asking your dad if you can meet up with boys with friends and that he can drop you off and again phone if he is worried. you have to prove to him that even if a boy asked for sex you responsible enough not to. You are at an age where it is acceptable for boys and girls to be jsut friends again, you have probably gone through the "eww boys" stage, And I beleive you should be aloud to socialise with boys and girls again.
Emily
Another dad of two girls chiming in. Like the other, my girls are both grown with children of their own.
In your dad's eyes you will still be "his little girl". He will always want to protect you when he can. Even when you're forty if he's still around. (believe me I know)
My daughters both showed me by the time they were fifteen that they were responsible enough to date and by fourteen that they were able to go to the mall with their friends but it took patience and perseverance do it.
I was not easy to convince and your dad probably won't be either but if you will do as some of the others have told you...
Respect his decisions even when you don't agree.
Respect him (I know, not always easy)
Don't beg too much (a little bit is not only expected but even OK)
If you will do these things and keep in mind these other two things
1. He really does want the best for you.
2. Though it may be hard to believe... He still remembers what he was like as a teenage (read this adolescent) boy and expects every one of the little buggars that come around you to be just as bad as he was.
He will eventually come around and allow you some freedom. If you handle it right in the beginning you will find that it comes faster and more easily as you go along.
I hope your relationship with your dad blooms as mine has with my "little girls".
hi, i am 18 turning 19 and my dad is exactly the same. I have only allowed to go out to parties scince i turned 18 and i still have a curfew. i am still to scared to bring home any of the boyfriends that i get (which is not many,lol) because i am scared that my dad will beat them up on the spot. It drives me insane alot of the time but i do understand why he does it. When i look at some of the people i grew up with they have turned out all messed up because they experienced things to soon, they were not ready to make the right decisions about what they were faced with. Just try and look at it this way at least you no that he loves you and would go to any length to protect you. Just have fun with what you are allowed to do. maybe you could have some of your friends stay over at your house so that your dad has the chance to get to no them and learns that he can trust them. But if this does not work at least you no that you are not the only one who has to deal with it and trust me i would challenge any one to trump my dad lol. It will end eventually just make the most of being young.
and prove to your father that you are smart and responsible.
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