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how to tell a controlling parent im dating

Asked Jun 22, 2012, 12:25 PM — 22 Answers
Hello everyone. I have a dilemma I am 31 years old and living at home. I. Have decided to stay with my mom because its Benn the two of us since I can remember. My problem is I am dating a guy for 4 years now and he has asked many times to meet my mom. Now my mom doesn't know I have been dating him and I am scared to death of telling her. Any advice on how to start ? Thank you for the advice ahead of time.

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22 Answers
redbucket's Avatar
redbucket Posts: 9, Reputation: 6
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#11

Jun 22, 2012, 04:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
Does your mother have a source of income? Is she housebound or handicapped in some way?
no when i started working i made enought to pay for all the things we needed so i didnt see why she had to work when she has always worked.
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Homegirl 50's Avatar
Homegirl 50 Posts: 8,911, Reputation: 10923
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#12

Jun 22, 2012, 04:52 PM


If you are basically supporting her, there is no reason you cannot date and have him over for dinner even. Your mother would just have to get over it.
Does she not know you are dating?
You're grown, tell her. If she does not like it, she can put you out, then she would have to get a job.
Does she have a boyfriend? Maybe she needs one.
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Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,386, Reputation: 24168
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#13

Jun 22, 2012, 04:52 PM


But it's not your responsibility to care for your mother if she is fully able to care for herself. What does she do all day? Does she have a social life and belong to organizations and clubs?
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Fr_Chuck's Avatar
Fr_Chuck Posts: 72,624, Reputation: 37031
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#14

Jun 22, 2012, 05:12 PM


You are a adult, time to start being one, sorry dating for how long ? She does not know?

You tell her and don't care about about what she says, time to let her know you are a adult.

Also time for mom to start having her own life, a job is one idea, she needs her own income, next she needs a social life, clubs, activities and so on.
in many places at 55 you can go to the senior center and do activities
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redbucket's Avatar
redbucket Posts: 9, Reputation: 6
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#15

Jun 24, 2012, 04:36 PM
I am a wimp I cannot bring myself to tell my mom
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Homegirl 50's Avatar
Homegirl 50 Posts: 8,911, Reputation: 10923
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#16

Jun 24, 2012, 04:40 PM
Then you are not going to have a life and that is your fault. At some point you're going to have to stand up to her. I would imagine your boyfriend will not do this forever. What if he wants to marry you, or anybody wants to marry you. What are you going to do?
Does your mom know you date, does she ever wonder about your dating situation?
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redbucket's Avatar
redbucket Posts: 9, Reputation: 6
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#17

Jun 24, 2012, 07:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
Then you are not going to have a life and that is your fault. At some point you're going to have to stand up to her. I would imagine your boyfriend will not do this forever. What if he wants to marry you, or anybody wants to marry you. What are you going to do?
Does your mom know you date, does she ever wonder about your dating situation?
To be honest she has never has asked me about my dating life. That's the bad thing he has talked about getting married and moving in together.
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Homegirl 50's Avatar
Homegirl 50 Posts: 8,911, Reputation: 10923
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#18

Jun 24, 2012, 07:54 PM
You are 30 years old. She must know you date. Does she say anything when you go out?
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Homegirl 50's Avatar
Homegirl 50 Posts: 8,911, Reputation: 10923
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#19

Jun 24, 2012, 08:14 PM
The next time you go out, tell her you have a date.
I'm sure she knows you date though. She has to.
Just invite the guy over one day and introduce him. What is the worse that can happen?
What excuses do you give him for not meeting your mother?
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redbucket's Avatar
redbucket Posts: 9, Reputation: 6
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#20

Jun 25, 2012, 12:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
The next time you go out, tell her you have a date.
I'm sure she knows you date though. She has to.
Just invite the guy over one day and introduce him. What is the worse that can happen?
What excuses do you give him for not meeting your mother?
I tell him the truth that she has attitude and she doesn't like it when I talk to people especially guys.
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