how to start over after along term relationship

TweetyB · #1 Mar 25, 2006, 11:59 PM

I don't know how to feel for someone else.

fredg · Mar 26, 2006, 03:51 AM

Hi, tweety,
It's hard. At 20 yrs old, my high school sweetheart (which I thought we would eventually be married) found someone else....after knowing her all my life! Took me a year before I could date again.
It will take awhile, maybe months before you might feel like really trying to meet new boys/men. Remember; when you feel like meeting new people, SMILE; it really helps. Talk about them, not yourself. Show them you are interested in them, and they in turn, will start asking about you. I do wish you the best of luck, and hang in there. It will happen for you.

TweetyB · Mar 26, 2006, 12:56 PM

We was together for 9yrs everything I did, saw and felt was with him. We talks every blue moon but mostly it be on the computer because I have someone now, who I naturally care about but dont love it wont hurt if this guy leaves. Theirs not a day I dont think of my ex and I've talk to this boy about it so if he feels the need to move on do so . I dont wanna hurt nobody or lead them on this guy is marrage type and all, but for me I still see my self spending the rest of my life with my ex.

DJ 'H' · Mar 28, 2006, 01:35 AM

You are going to be this way after being with someone for so long. Getting over someone takes time and allowing yourself to love again is not easy.

I was with a guy for two years and when we split up I found it hard to even kiss another guy at first. Slowly and surely I started dating again and had a couple of relationships - but to me it was nothing serious and they only fizzled out. It was not until nearly 2 yrs after splitting up with my ex that I actually ended up meeting a guy (Pete) who I fell head over heels for. It just so happens that I have lived next door to him for 4yrs and have actually know him to say hello too. My Dad is very good friends with his family and I had always thought to myself how gorgepus he was and what a nice person he was. I never actually though I would end up going out with him, I never thought I would fall in love with him. I tried so hard not to allow myself to love him through fear of getting hurt again, but I let him in and allowed myself to love him and allowed him to love me which is the best thing I have ever done in my life.

You just need to carry on being yourself, doing your own thing and get out there and meet new people. Don't go looking for ,ove. Love will come looking for you.

fredg · Mar 28, 2006, 04:40 AM

Hi,
Nine years is a long time; and as others have said, it will take time to get over it.
You won't completely forget, but will eventually get to the point that you want to talk with others, and have a good time.
Took me a year to get over my first love; many, many years ago.

jc105 · Mar 29, 2006, 06:30 AM

Tweaty, I just got out of a 4 year relationship, knew the girl for 6 years. The one thing that someone said to me that REALLY helped answer some questions was in looking for that same connection. That same closeness, like they are a part of you. That will never be the same with someone else, it will be different, it will feel different, they are different. But that doesn't mean that its not gonna be better. My girl moved out on good terms about a month ago, but I told her then that I wasn't waiting for her to come back. I have been out and got about 6 girls numbers, but no call backs. Don't look for love, you can't find it, it will find you.

And just so you know, even when I am talking to another girl at the bar and what-not, my ex might as well be right next to me. And she will always be there, but I am starting to not really mind. I loved her and I will love another...eventually. Don't worry you will meet someone and you won't see it coming...

Don't look for love.

JC

TweetyB · Mar 29, 2006, 11:14 AM

Thank you so much .

DJ 'H' · Mar 29, 2006, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TweetyB

Thank you so much .

You are more than welcome. Just so glad we could all assist you. I hope you are feeling better about things now xx

fredg · Mar 30, 2006, 03:26 AM

Hi, tweety,
You are quite welcome, and I do wish you the best.



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