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    Gojojo121's Avatar
    Gojojo121 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 10, 2007, 09:38 PM
    How long should we date before moving in together
    I have dated this guy for almost 10 months... and now my lease expires... and he tells me he is not ready for us to move in together... and he owns a house. Should I be mad??
    grammadidi's Avatar
    grammadidi Posts: 1,182, Reputation: 468
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    #2

    Jun 10, 2007, 09:50 PM
    I don't think you should be mad. I think you should appreciate his honesty and decide if you are both wanting the same thing out of the relationship. If you don't, then you need to decide whether you want to remain in it.

    Many mature people need longer than 10 months to make a life altering decision. Personally, I would rather he ask me to move in because he is deeply in love with me than because my lease has expired. Slow down, enjoy the ride and give him the time he needs. If you were dating 3 or 4 years, my advice would likely be different.

    Good luck!

    Didi
    Gojojo121's Avatar
    Gojojo121 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 10, 2007, 09:57 PM
    Yep you are probably right... it's just that we are in out late thirties... not teenagers anymore. I know what I want out of a relationship.
    jojo88's Avatar
    jojo88 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 10, 2007, 10:40 PM
    On a religious look. I would say you shouldn't move in together until you are married. Don't rush living together. You'll have all the time in the world to do whatever have sex and make babies at the proper time but in my opinion I do not think couples that are dating should move in together until they are married.
    kirriky's Avatar
    kirriky Posts: 80, Reputation: 26
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    #5

    Jun 11, 2007, 06:40 PM
    Yes, maybe he doesn't want to move in together because he is deeply religious and doesn't believe in 'moving in before marriage'.

    And, seriously, I would go with didi on two points. First, he might think you're taking advantage of him and only want to move in because your lease has expired. It really depends on how and when you mentioned moving in together. And secondly, maybe he simply doesn't want this relationship to get too serious. 10 months of dating don't necessarily mean that he's willing to commit, to move in together and switch to the 'married guy' scenario.
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