I dated a woman for nearly 5 months. She broke it off with me a few weeks ago. I wasn't sure how I felt at first, but after a couple of months, I became close to her. She broke it off with me, the night before I was leaving for a vacation I had planned, through a phone call. I was devastated. She told me, "She wanted to be alone and that she didn't want to be with me..." This was VERY hurtful to hear. She told me, "She liked me as a friend and that she thought I was "GA-GA" for her..." She told me, "I was scaring her..." We always had a good time together, never argued and did alot for each other. It turns out, I met her through work, which is making it even worse to cope with. Even though i don't work with her, i see her from time to time walking around outside. This really sucks...! Since that phone call, I encountered her once outside and tried talking with her. I was smiling and told her i had a GREAT time on my vacation(even though i didn't...). I asked her if she wanted her stuff back, which was at my place, and she responded by telling me to "Throw it out". She didn't seem too interested in talking with me and I haven't heard from her since. I'm thinking she wants to move on and forget all about me. What should I do, if I really want her back in my life...? Should I make any contact...? An email...? phone call...? Easter card...? Anything...? Or should I just let sleeping dogs lye, even though it's killing me...? Please help..... Btw, I'm 40 and she's 35.

Thanks,
SJ

COOKIE MONSTER

to be honest i think you should leave it she dumped you over the phone the least she could of done was told you to your face.
she told you to chuck her things out so [[stop looking at them]] and either go to work early and leave them on her desk or chuck them out but the worse thing you could do for you is to keep them itll just remind you of her everytime you see them.
and i think dumping you the day before your holiday was abit harsh she could have waited untill you got back so you could of enjoyed your holiday but she ruined the hole thing id just give up and get on with your life she not worth it

JBeaucaire

I know it's going to hurt, but NOT moving on immediately is going to hurt a lot longer and pointlessly. She dumped you. That's pretty much it.

Any time you spend trying to analyze beyond what she already told you is wasted time. Anything you try to do will serve to only make you look desparate, will result in no change in her position and leave you feeling more and more despondent.

The pain is unavoidable since you were the one dumped, just don't add to it by fruitless action to "get her back." Everything she has said and done are LOUD AND CLEAR. It's over. You need her to say that over and over to understand it?

Move on, work through the pain. Time is a precious, precious commodity and should not be wasted. Get your grieving done so you can get back out there. Your future awaits. She's history now.

COOKIE MONSTER

i agree with jbeaucaire!

try the link under this saying how to get him/her back it mite help

sjersey41

Thanks everyone for the advice. I thought about contacting her, but I just don't see the point anymore. She broke it off, has made no attempt to contact me and pretty much has already forgotten about me. I know it's hard to swallow all this, but I guess I have no other choice. I just feel like I have no closure, because I didn't say what I wanted to in the end. Where's my closure...? Or how do I get any...?
Thanks...

COOKIE MONSTER

you could send her aletter saying what you have to say.i was with my x for 2years and never got to say what i wanted to so 2years after we broke up and thinking bout him alot i decided to get what i had to say off mychest so i did and ive not had him on mymind till now and i feel better for saying what i had to say but its up to you

talaniman

Your closure comes, with accepting her change in feelings, and knowing its over. Asking yourself questions about her motives, and feelings, or even actions, is counterproductive, and only brings more questions, with no answers. Life doesn't always give us the closure we want, but you still must move on.

sjersey41

Furthermore, here's my dilemma.....

It was a month ago, this past week, she called me to break it off. I've made NO CONTACT with her, except for the brief encounter we had 3 weeks ago, when she told me to throw her stuff out. She works at the same place I do. Even though it's a large facility, there's still a chance I might run into her, every now and then. I still see her occassionally, walking outside, but don't dare approach her. As much as I want to talk to her, I know she'll probably reject me even more. The problem I'm having is the fact that, just seeing her walking about outside, is killing me...! I miss her so much and would do anything to have her back in my life. I know I haven't felt like this about anyone, in a very long time. Has anyone here ever felt, that there wasn't anyone, who could ever replace the person, who wasn't in there life any longer...? Should I continue the NO CONTACT thing, even though it's killing me...? I hope this makes sense to someone. Any good advice, would be very much appreciated.

Thanks...

COOKIE MONSTER

i do no what you mean but it will get easyer believe me hun its in your best interest to stay away itll only hurt you more is she rejects you again and itll take longer for you to get over her again put her behind you and look to the future

sjersey41

Cookie Monster.....
It's been 2 months now, since we broke up. I've tried moving on. I've been going on several dates and I'm meeting new and interesting people. However, I find myself, still missing her and all of the fun, that we had together. I haven't heard from her at all and I realize that it's over, but why do I still think of her and still miss her...? To answer my own question, I guess I realize now, how much I really loved her. People keep telling me, that me feelings will eventually fade for her, but will they...??? I appreciate your opinion on this..... Thanks.