At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
I like this guy at work and I want to hang out with him outside of work (maybe even as a date), but I really don't want to wait around for him to ask me because he may never do it. Here's the thing though. I don't know if he is single or taken. How do I go about asking it without it looking like I'm trying to figure out if I can have him? And if he doesn't have a gf, how do I ask him out? I am not used to the whole girl asking guy out thing, I usually wait for the guy to ask me, but I feel like I lose so many opportunities by waiting and want to just come right out and ask a guy out. I'm really shy so this isn't easy for me and I have no idea what to do.
If you feel like he would never ask you out, you're probably right. In your place, I wouldn't do anything (unfortunately!) but this would be the WORST thing to do! So, do something...
What about casually talking to him one day and then ask him to go for a walk or something? I mean, a walk is not a big deal and after all, it's just a walk. But it would give you the chance to see him outside of work and talk to him on a different level.
If you can't ask him directly if he wants to go for a walk, then you have to come up with something else. For instance, you talk about what he did last week-end and bla, bla, bla and then he asks what did you do. Then, just say you went to a really cool place and make him interested as to find out more about that place, but don't tell him what that place is just yet. You sound funny, so you shouldn't have problems getting the message accross, if you see what I mean. So, keep on being funny and playful and ...smile. All of a sudden, he'll seem interested and then all of a sudden you have to go back to work, so just leave him wondering.. or ask him if he would wanna go with you someday, maybe next Saturday at 5 PM cause you're free then. And tell him, "I'm sure you'd like it!"
Now, figure out what that "cool place" could be. Sorry, I have no idea right now... Don't make it a big deal though.
Let me know if this helps. Otherwise, we can figure out something else!! More interesting... And if ever it turns out that he's taken, you can always be friends. After all, you still have Gospel... (just kidding!)
I'm sitting in my room right now, on the 2nd story of this house, and I look out the sliding door that leads to the balcony outside. On the balcony is a very small bird, and it's hopping around, trying to find food. Finding none, it dives off the balcony's handrail, freefalling towards the cement driveway below. A few feet before it appears the poor bird will be crushed by the fall, it spreads its wings and flaps, gliding safely to the driveway, continuing its quest.
Now, I gotta tell you--if I'd been asked to dive off the balcony, even if there were a huge mattress below, I'd have been deathly afraid. But this bird was more than willing to take a nose-dive off a ledge that was easily 50 times its height, because it's something that it does regularly. I imagine a new-born bird wouldn't have been so daring, but this one, having mastered something that nature gave it, does it without any thought.
Think: something that is perfectly natural to a bird scares the living daylights out of me. Isn't that interesting?
No?
Well then how 'bout this: if you don't hit on Carrot today, some other girl will tomorrow. Why? Because for every shy person out there, there are like 10 others who have no problem doing what you're not willing to do because they practice it regularly.
So get over your shyness now and just ask him out. Guys have absolutely no problem with it.
Oh, and if you're not willing to ask him straight out, then at least insinuate that you're interested. Talk to him more often. Make physical contact (touch his shoulder, playfully slap his hand, etc.). Wear scandalously revealing outfits (bonus: gets you more tips from male and lesbian customers).
Girlfriend or no, if he's interested, he'll ask you out. And if he won't, just ask him. This is the 21st century for chrissakes, women should have ruled the earth long ago.
If they're shy, the more they're interested, the more it's hard to ask.
Even worse, when they are 100% interested and 100% shy, they won't ask at all.
Agree... which is why I do suggest she ask him out at some point. You're right--shy guys take aim, but never pull the trigger, and if they do they fire spitballs instead of bullets.
Now, since stargazer10 flies into a seething rage when every post in her thread isn't advice for her (), I'll say this: as a (recovering) shy guy, I would love it if girls took the initiative. Which is why I suggest that you (stargazer) go ahead and ask him out, or just be very obvious with your hints. Be extra-friendly with him. Laugh at all his jokes, no matter how terrible. And wiggle when you walk.
Well nothing yet. I haven't really seen him for awhile (meaning I haven't worked with him for about a week or so). I did see him for about a half hour two days ago, but we just talked (more than usual). So nothing has happened yet. But I'm hoping I get the courage to find out if he has a girlfriend soon. Ha ha! I'm too afraid to ask. But I guess I need to just get it over with.
When you talk to him, what do you talk about? You said that you talked to him two days ago, more than usual. Don't tell me that you only talked about the weather!!! Talk about movies that you have seen or that you want to see. If there is one that both of you want to see, just say, "Hey, we should go this Wednesday night" (or whatever night you are off on the same day). Your bowling idea sounds like a good one as well.
Here are some other good ideas:
A trip to an amusement park (i.e. Six Flags)
Miniature golf
Go-Karting
Baseball game
Firework display (4th of July is coming up)
All of the above could be done as a group or eventually just the two of you if things go well.
My final thought? Just come out and ask him if he is seeing anyone!!! If a guy takes the time to talk with you, then he is at least a little bit interested. Is there any way that you can ask some of the people you work with to see if they happen to know if he has someone? Does he ever have any friends that come in to the restaurant that don't work there? Are any of them girls? Simply put, you will never know anything unless you ask questions.
(just kidding!)
Linear Mode
