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Home > Family & People > Dating   »   How do I get him?

 
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Old Jun 9, 2007, 07:22 PM
stargazer10
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How do I get him?

I like this guy at work and I want to hang out with him outside of work (maybe even as a date), but I really don't want to wait around for him to ask me because he may never do it. Here's the thing though. I don't know if he is single or taken. How do I go about asking it without it looking like I'm trying to figure out if I can have him? And if he doesn't have a gf, how do I ask him out? I am not used to the whole girl asking guy out thing, I usually wait for the guy to ask me, but I feel like I lose so many opportunities by waiting and want to just come right out and ask a guy out. I'm really shy so this isn't easy for me and I have no idea what to do.

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Old Jun 9, 2007, 09:09 PM   #2  
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You didn't say what sort of work environment you are in, but could you invite him to lunch, or to coffee? Maybe offer to get a bunch of people in the office coffee and see if he will help carry. Invite a group to lunch and include him, if possible. Or, if you notice him in the breakroom, take a break at the same time and strike up a conversation. It might take a few conversations to ask if he's seeing anyone, but you will get there. Or, once you start talking to him you might realize he's not so great!

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grammadidi agrees: Some great ideas here!
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Old Jun 9, 2007, 09:35 PM   #3  
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Isn't there anyone at work you could ask about this guy? He must go to lunch or coffee with someone from time to time. Ask them if he's 'involved' with anyone. They might even pass the word on that you were asking about him. I remember one time that I thought I'd like to know a guy from work better (a loooong time ago!) and I asked if I could borrow his jacket because I found the air conditioning too cold one day. When I gave it back, I said, "Oh, no! I hope your wife won't think you are fooling around if she smells my perfume on your jacket!" I found out he was married without him even knowing I was interested so saved face! (If the place is perfume free you could substitute "finds any of my hair" for "smells my perfume".)

Otherwise, I'd say just take a chance and tell him you'd love to go for coffee sometime if he isn't seeing anyone, of course. He'll be flattered at the very least.

Good luck!

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Old Jun 9, 2007, 10:02 PM   #4  
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arrange for a meeting together. Can be in a group and then talk to him when he's not in a conversation with any1, or talk to him alone. Either way just take things slow at first, this guy that your interested in may turn out to be a real jerk.
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Old Jun 10, 2007, 06:53 AM   #5  
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I am a server at a restaurant and he is a host... the coffee ideas are great, but they don't really work for my job. We don't leave the restaurant until our shift is over.
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Old Jun 10, 2007, 07:30 AM   #6  
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STARGAZER. It looks like you and me are in the same boat. Its a guy for you and its a girl for me.

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stargazer10 agrees: Ha! Let me know how your boat turns out... mine probably won't go so hot!
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Old Jun 10, 2007, 10:51 AM   #7  
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Well, then, this is a little easier! Why don't you ask him if his wife minds the hours he puts in? If he says he isn't married then you can say, "Oh, sorry! How about your girlfriend? What kind of work does she do?" That will open the door. You can follow it up (or even start it) by saying something like "Glad I'm not married (or in a steady relationship). I don't know if a husband would be tolerant of these hours."

If you are uncomfortable with that, why not walk out around the same time as him and say, "I think I'll go unwind for a bit at xxxxxx. Want to come along?" If he comes, you can ask if he's involved with someone in the conversation.

Good luck!

Oh, and maybe you should find out where niss66 works. Maybe it's the same place!

Didi
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Old Jun 10, 2007, 11:09 AM   #8  
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Hi Grammadidi. Well, she said restaurant, but my profession is different. I go to the cafeteria at work and the girl works here............... She is yet not my girlfriend, but would love to.............

Hope this helps! I have already asked her out...........she said "I don't know" maybe due to our companies policies. So, she was trying to be careful. But, I am going to ask her out again this week or next week and I just wanted to give her sometime. I have entered more details about my problem in another location in this forums. You could check it out. Here is the Subject?

Should I ask her out again?
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Old Jun 10, 2007, 11:59 AM   #9  
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your ideas are great if we were an older crowd. I do not think he is married. He is 20 and I am 18. I'm thinking about trying to get a bunch of people to go bowling because i love to bowl and i havent in awhile so maybe that will work. I HOPE HE LIKES TO BOWL!
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Old Jun 10, 2007, 12:19 PM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nis66
Should I ask her out again?
YES, you should!

Don't give up so easily on what you really want.

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stargazer10 agrees: That's great advice... but could you send some my way on the subject please!
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