I have been seeing my boyfriend for just over 2 years and do not live together. We decided that the time was right to get together on a permanent basis 6 months ago. The plan was that I would sell my house, buy half of his house, he would rent his house out and we would buy a house together.

My house went on the market but interest was low over the Christmas period. I took it off the market to allow it to refresh for 6 weeks. The house is due to go back on at the end of this week and we have been working on my house together to get it ready.

However last night he said that he could not go trough with it and wanted things to remain the same as they are or alternatively for me to buy a house nearer to him so that seeing each other would be a little easier.

I am absolutely gutted and totally at a loss as to what to do from here as I do not want either of these options, but don't want t to lose him either. Please help?

valinors_sorrow

As terribly disappointing as this is to you, last time I checked people are allowed to change their minds about stuff and they routinely do. He apparently is not ready for how big a step was planned even though you are. Good of him to make it known now rather than later when its all much stickier.

You need to respect his feelings in this. And he needs to respect yours. You two need to work out a compromise that is acceptable to you both. Talk over different options and look at what you both consider fair and realistic. Know going in that if you two can't come to a reconciled middle about this, then perhaps this changes more than your living arrangements?

And its goes without saying that most relationships tend to progress at the speed of the slower partner -- its just how it works. If it ultimately turns out he is too slow, then your alternative is to find someone who isn't. I would not recommend pressuring someone to move faster or to commit more than they are.