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    How to approach a girl at the gym?

    Asked May 23, 2009, 09:17 PM 18 Answers


    I'm having some trouble giving my friend advice, he's in his mid 20s. There's a cute girl at the gym, but he doesn't know how to approach her without scaring her away. I actually know of her, she's very book smart, but not street smart. She has high expectations for a potential boyfriend and has never had a boyfriend in her 3 years of university. He's no longer in university, he's working full-time now, so it's difficult to meet her elsewhere.

    Please note that he's very shy and I'm not in the same city as him, so I can't be his wing man and unfortunately, there's no other wing man he can trust, so he's on his own.

    The advice I gave him so far is to continue to go to the gym and make eye contact with her each time so that she recognizes his face. Then, when she's familiar enough with him and he finally gains the courrage, he can go up to her and say: "Hey, I see you here a lot, you must be in good shape" and then go from there.

    Any other tips?

    Last edited by I wish; May 23, 2009 at 09:31 PM.
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    18 Answers
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #2

    May 23, 2009, 09:25 PM

    In order to give appropriate advice we will have to know the age of this friend... j/k

    Other then looks, what is he interested in? Does he know any of the classes she takes at the gym? What is she doing for her workout? Is there a way to work in a workout with her... the funny thing about meeting/talking to a guy at the gym, as a woman (and probably men feel this way too) you just feel scuzzy and dirty at the gym... not ideal time for being hit on or hitting on anyone, in my opinion.
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    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #3

    May 23, 2009, 09:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by I wish View Post
    "Hey, I see you here a lot, you must be in good shape"
    On a scale of 1 to 10 - that line is like a 2.

    He might need a new wing man. J/K again.
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    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,280, Reputation: 2023
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    #4

    May 23, 2009, 09:38 PM


    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    On a scale of 1 to 10 - that line is like a 2.

    He might need a new wing man. J/K again.
    Haha... you're right, that might be too cheesy. This is why I need help.
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    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #5

    May 23, 2009, 09:45 PM

    Do you know what her high expectations are for a boyfriend? Would your friend meet those expectations? Does he see her anywhere other then the gym?
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    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,280, Reputation: 2023
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    #6

    May 23, 2009, 09:57 PM


    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    Do you know what her high expectations are for a boyfriend? Would your friend meet those expectations? Does he see her anywhere other then the gym?
    The other two guys that she liked are medical school likely potentials. My friend has a decent high paying job, but not medical school. Unless he goes back to school and joins the same clubs or stalks her, I don't know where else he can see her.

    We're just looking for a way to say hi in the gym and go from there. I already prepared him for rejection, but he still deserves to give it a shot.
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    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #7

    May 23, 2009, 10:03 PM

    That he does.

    It's hard to give nerves to shy guys, until they understand that women are just as shy and nervous about the same things. Maybe the best step is to join in cautiously to her workout, if she is on a bike try a bike a couple down, start a conversation about the weather, school, work, anything really. It's always nice for casual conversation to stay motivated/distracted while working out.
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    WillaWinda's Avatar
    WillaWinda Posts: 11, Reputation: 9
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    #8

    May 23, 2009, 10:17 PM

    Be simple. If he reall likes her, its better to give it a shot than never give it a shot or spend the rest of his life thinking what would have happened if he would have approached her.

    I think your approach line was pretty good.

    If your thinking about the rejection before you even give it a try, is not a good way to go about it. If he does get rejected, he at least went for what he wanted... you don't get what you want unless you go after it, if the person rejects you then you know you looked at the wrong person, that's all.

    Another good line can be: I see you here often, I keep looking at you because I cant get my eyes off you... wait and see what her reaction is... and then say... after gym lets go and get something to drink OK?

    If she is interested you will be able to notice.

    If he feels insecure about doing this, tell him that nobody knows what's going inside him, and it doesn't matter what people think about you... so he doesn't have to be afraid to try it out.

    Just act out the person you want to be if you don't think you have it in you... act secure of yourself, and act like you like yourself... and the other person will like you too...
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    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,280, Reputation: 2023
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    #9

    May 24, 2009, 12:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    Maybe the best step is to join in cautiously to her workout, if she is on a bike try a bike a couple down, start a conversation about the weather, school, work, anything really. It's always nice for casual conversation to stay motivated/distracted while working out.
    Like I said, he's very shy, so he seems to like this idea the most. He had the impression that he had to get really close to her to talk to her, but this is a good compromise.

    LOL I can't help but laugh.

    Thanks for the tips! Let me know if you have anymore suggestions.
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    bella99's Avatar
    bella99 Posts: 150, Reputation: 37
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    #10

    Sep 10, 2009, 01:59 PM

    I know this is a kind of old thread - but how did it work out for your friend? Did he ever go up to the girl?

    There was a cute guy at my gym back in May - I smiled at him every time he was there - then he left for the summer and I haven't seen him since - I should have said hi, but it really is hard to come up with something to say. Sometimes if there is smething interesting on TV in the gym I'll comment on it to whoever is next to me, so there is a possible in.
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