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Just to help you guys out, I will be a freshman in highschool next year. I have been on dates with plenty of girls my age and older but none of them are quite like this girl. She however is a year younger than I am and will not yet be in highschool. (she looks older than she is and acts more mature.) We were friends for several years and then she asked me out. That lasted about a week and then she said she rather be friends. It was a little hard but ive been through worse things. 3 days ago she asked me out again we went to a party, we kissed things like that and when I get home she calls me and says that she rather be friends. I am honestly confused and need help. I really like this girl, more than any other before. Please try to help me out.
-Thanks
She may be trying to get you or she may be experimenting with you. Either way till you figure it out don't be looking into her eyes and falling hopelessly in love. If she wants to be friends say okay and go about your own business. Maybe she likes you as a friend and thats that!
My definition of adolescence is child one minute, adult the next, then child again. She is driving down both sides of the street as a result of her own unresolved confusion. It hits me as a little too self centered, frankly. As her friend, you really need to let her know this back and forth is neither kind nor fair. It will not serve her well with other guys either. You aren't her science experiment. Settle for one, and I bet its friends.
My definition of adolescence is child one minute, adult the next, then child again. She is driving down both sides of the street as a result of her own unresolved confusion. It hits me as a little too self centered, frankly. As her friend, you really need to let her know this back and forth is neither kind nor fair. It will not serve her well with other guys either. You aren't her science experiment. Settle for one, and I bet its friends.
Say something. She needs to know how not cool this is. And you need the practice letting a girl know when they need to look at something they are doing. I call that a win-win! Just be the polite, straight forward young man to her you have shown us here. This needs to be in person though, okay? Keep in mind that the best relationships are often between two people who are good at negotiating. Its a valuable skill that you both need to acquire.
Hi,
As your other answers have said, she is just too young at this point in time.
She hasn't "grown up" to the point yet, that she wants to be more than friends with anyone.
Be her friend, and don't look for anything different right now.
I do wish you the best of luck.
Hi dear. Valinors_sorrow put it very well. Too bad I can't rate her response today..
Consider this phase in your life as a training ground. Just as in any other 'training areas' such as Basic Training in the military, it's a part of life that trains and teaches you how to handle and learn from real-life situations. What you derive from it and what you do to reach the outcome,depends on you.
As long as you stay fair, truthful, and compassionate towards others, you'll receive the same reaction back. We are all our own diplomats in life, and depending on what you want from others is how you should project yourself.
The more 'friends' you have on your way, the more proof and confidence you gain. So, try your best not to hurt anyone, and help them if they are touching one of your soft spots. They will not be able to better themselves if you don't tell them where you think they are lacking. All can be done with kindness and respect - this depends on you.
Good luck, and please keep us posted.
Real friends can help more than hinder your growing process, and rejection is only a 'no' word - one never dies from it.
As you say, this girl is very young, not even in high school yet. She's probably not as mature as you think she is. Many young people her age can't make a decision about having any committed, long-term relationship and, really, shouldn't have to. There's no need for the two of you to rush things. Let's face it, how long will it be before the two of you are ready to get married? Many, many years. That being the case, why worry about getting serious now? That would be like me worrying about a particular house in Florida that I like that's on the market and I want to buy it as my retirement home but I'm worried that it won't be on the market when I'm ready to retire. Well DUH, of course not! As much as I'd like to consider the possibility, realistically I know that it'll be many years before I'm in a position to consider such an option, so to worry about it now would just be a huge waste of time and energy on my part. Focus on the things that are important to you now ; your education and your future. Just like right now I have to focus on the things that are important to me now ; my family and my career, not my retirement, which is probably at least 20 years away.
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