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Home > Family & People > Dating   »   Is he using me for sex

 
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Old Jun 23, 2009, 02:40 AM
violentfeminine
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Is he using me for sex

I am seeing a guy that I like and I think he likes me but I can't tell if he's just using me for sex. He had a gf and he cheated on her with me and told me he was single, that they had broken up and me, like an idiot, believed him but his friend told me that he is a compulsive liar and cheater so I don't want to get involved with someone like that but I need to make sure before I end it for good. We see eachother maybe twice a month and we sleep together and don't really talk until he calls and wants to but when we are together he's really sweet (even after the sex) and I feel like we should be together. It feels right. I finally told him that I want to be with him and he said he wants to be with me too but he's still not over his ex gf and he needs time. Am I wasting my time? I don't know what to do.

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Old Jun 23, 2009, 05:27 AM   #2  
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hi ya sorry to say this hun but you should stay clear. you dont want to gat involved with this man he is going to hurt you in the long run . once a cheat always a cheat sorry hun . tc but please stay away
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Old Jun 23, 2009, 08:11 AM   #3  
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I'd say, stop having sex with him until you clear up these doubts.

If he just recently broke up with his gf, you're his rebound.

You should be talking to him to get to know him better and not having sex. It almost sounds like you're using him for sex.
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Old Jun 23, 2009, 08:18 AM   #4  
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You don't really talk to each other apart from the twice a month you meet up and have sex.... hmmmm.
Sorry but it does sound like the relationship is just based on sex. He would be ultra nice to you after sex because he wants more later.

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I wish agrees: Friends with benefits!
Silverfoxkit agrees: Yup.
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Old Jun 23, 2009, 09:01 AM   #5  
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Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free. WOW you really are abusing yourself!

Lets review. Mens #1 Need...Sex
Women's #1 Need... Affection

Is he meeting your needs or are you meeting his and what types of diseases are you looking to catch. Remember that condoms do NOT PREVENT STD's. The REDUCE the RISK.

Fact: People are creatures of habit. He is not cheating on you because yours is not an affectionate relationship, but a sexual relationship and you are already in it.

If you want him to call more, stop having sex it will drive him nuts.

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liz28 agrees: Yes, she is meeting his needs and excusing hers.
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Old Jun 23, 2009, 10:24 AM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by violentfeminine View Post
I am seeing a guy that I like and I think he likes me but I can't tell if he's just using me for sex.
Does he call you at late hours to meet? When he does call is the conversation mainly about sex? When you do meet do you usually end up in the sack? After this, does he disappears for a few days even weeks without warning? If this is happening, then yes you are being used.

Quote:
He had a gf and he cheated on her with me and told me he was single
Red flag

Hello this guy has no respect for his previous girlfriend and maybe relationships too. It is likely that he will do the same to you!

Quote:
friend told me that he is a compulsive liar and cheater so I don't want to get involved with someone like that but I need to make sure before I end it for good
.

His friend told you this- his friend! If you were to continue this "relationship" you'll end up getting hurt- it's guaranteed.


Quote:
We see eachother maybe twice a month and we sleep together and don't really talk until he calls and wants to but when we are together he's really sweet (even after the sex) and I feel like we should be together.
Your his go-to girl. Your not even a girlfriend.. this isn't even a relationship- it's a booty call! Of course he's sweet to you, he wants to keep you as his go-to girl. Your not special, your just a hole to him, sad but true. Wake up girl!

Quote:
I finally told him that I want to be with him and he said he wants to be with me too but he's still not over his ex gf and he needs time.
Oh bull honky. If he wasn't over his ex he wouldn't be over you in bed slapping skin.

Quote:
Am I wasting my time? I don't know what to do.
Yes! You are wasting your time! If you want a relationship that goes somewhere then your looking in the wrong place! Next time his monthly call comes up don't answer it- cut him off completely.

Good luck.

Sarah
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Old Jun 23, 2009, 11:33 AM   #7  
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Run as fast as you can, I mean you know the answer to the question you are asking.
Def waisting your time, you had sex with him before you established what type of relationship you were looking for.
If you want a relationship that requires communication then you have to set the standards in the begining of the relationship you chose sex instead of communication, and now that is what he thought you wanted now that you are throwing a wrench in his plan by wanting to take it to another level, it's not going to work for him. RED FLAG right there.

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liz28 agrees: Yes she needs to run in the opposite direction.
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Old Jun 23, 2009, 02:07 PM   #8  
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You already stated he is a complusive liar and cheated so how can you ever have a healthy relationship with him?

Then you go on to say "he isn't over ex" and again you think the two of you are capable of having a relationship?

You seriously need a wake up call because your being foolish and is only kidding yourself. Your allowing yourself to be use and yourself up for misery and uneccesary pain. Face the facts and leave this alone or stay being a fool.
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Old Jun 23, 2009, 02:13 PM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by violentfeminine View Post
We see eachother maybe twice a month and we sleep together and don't really talk until he calls and wants to
Quote:
Originally Posted by violentfeminine View Post
Is he using me for sex

Are you seriously wondering this?? Or can you accept that you have answered your own question here?
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Old Jun 24, 2009, 09:36 AM   #10  
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YES he is using you
The bigger question should be why do you want to be with a liar and cheat?????

Also you need to realize that yes most liars and cheats ARE really sweet and they count on you believing that you think you will be the one that changes them. But 99.9 chances are he will move on or you already are just one of others he is seeing.
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