Is there something wrong with me?

chrissy32290 · #1 Feb 15, 2008, 06:08 PM

i dont know what to do i don't have a problem going out with guys i feel comfortable being myself but the moment they ask me out as a girlfriend i feel awkward and then i cant be myself.... is there something wrong with me?

chrissy32290 · Feb 15, 2008, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

No it is completely normal. Why do you think you always feel awkward at that time? Have you had any previous bad situations? Or do you just feel more comfortable with somebody as friends. Obviously you do not want to be tied down to anybody or do not want to take it to the next step. Is this normal, yes. Are you afraid that you will always feel this way? What is your age?

im 17 ....i think its because i am afraid of being tied down like i everytime i seem to get into a relationship i start talking to another guy and then he seems to be better than the guy im with its like im never satisfied with what i got ...idk

JBeaucaire · Feb 15, 2008, 08:15 PM

If you are shy of getting into exclusive relationships, then by all means listen to your inner caution and stay unattached. This does NOT mean you can't date and really should result in less stress for you, not more.

Think group activities. Whenever a guy you are friends with asks you out, don't get nervous at all, simply give him an honest, rehearsed answer:

"I'd love to go out sometime, as long as you don't mind group activities. I'm not looking for an exclusive relationship right now, so if you're OK with that, let's get some friends and plan something."

Practice it. Or your version, make sure you can say your response without it sounding recited, it needs to sound like YOU talking. No fear, no iffyness, just you say "yes" but with clear rules. Then follow them.

When you have a guy you've been group dating for a while and you start to feel closer to OK with a private date, it's in your control to adjust your willingness to date privately. Tell him you're thinking of giving it a try ONCE and see how things go. At the end of that date, tell him THEN how you think it went, honestly.

GOOD: "This was nice, and you were a perfect gentlemen. Maybe we can do this again sometime? Good night."
BAD: "Thanks for tonight, but I find that I'm really not ready for this. Please understand. We'll go out with the gang again soon, OK? Good night."

chrissy32290 · Feb 16, 2008, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

If you are shy of getting into exclusive relationships, then by all means listen to your inner caution and stay unattached. This does NOT mean you can't date and really should result in less stress for you, not more.

Think group activities. Whenever a guy you are friends with asks you out, don't get nervous at all, simply give him an honest, rehearsed answer:

"I'd love to go out sometime, as long as you don't mind group activities. I'm not looking for an exclusive relationship right now, so if you're OK with that, let's get some friends and plan something."

Practice it. Or your version, make sure you can say your response without it sounding recited, it needs to sound like YOU talking. No fear, no iffyness, just you say "yes" but with clear rules. Then follow them.

When you have a guy you've been group dating for a while and you start to feel closer to OK with a private date, it's in your control to adjust your willingness to date privately. Tell him you're thinking of giving it a try ONCE and see how things go. At the end of that date, tell him THEN how you think it went, honestly.

GOOD: "This was nice, and you were a perfect gentlemen. Maybe we can do this again sometime? Good night."
BAD: "Thanks for tonight, but I find that I'm really not ready for this. Please understand. We'll go out with the gang again soon, OK? Good night."

wow that makes sense i never thought of it like that thanks for the tips



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