Hi, I'm new to this site; I really need some help. There is this guy at college that I don't know if he likes me or not. We have a Kung-Fu class together, and to be truthful I never noticed him until he started talking to me. He is very nice to me and is always there for me. We have gone out like five times. He lets me touch him and hug him when we say good bye. If I touch him he doesn't pull back. Someone asked me if we were dating because of the way we talk, see and touch each other, that person also told me that the guy seems very protective of me. I have also noticed that when I'm with him no guy even attempts to hit on me.

450donn

RED FLAG! "Very protective of me" is a danger signal. If he is this possessive at this stage in your relationship I would back away and see what happens. If he continues to be possessive I would consider that a major problem.

You said that other people are seeing this guy being very protective. Like I said before to me your original post indicated a possible danger, and I wanted you to be aware of it. Protective, possessive can be construed the same way. All I am saying is be watchful for the signs of a pending problem.

JBeaucaire

Don, I didn't read anything her post that indicated she was in danger. "Very protective" also reads as "is a strong manly type and I feel/am safe around him" as well as "defends me to others when I'm not around."

OK? I don't see a red flag...yet. Sometimes words used are similar to red flag trigger words, and still AREN'T a red flag.

So as to her actual question "does he like me?" Of course he does.

Now stop being dramatic and continue to enjoy your time with him. If you have questions about your relationship you aren't willing to WAIT and figure out on your own over time, then ask HIM. Makes more sense than asking strangers, doesn't it?

If you need some insight on your own thoughts and actions, then that's a different story. You will be much more successful getting feedback from us on things going on in YOUR head since you can speak directly about what that is.

Relax, enjoy your growing relationship. Don't over think it.

450donn

JBeaucaire
I read this statement as a red flag warning. If it is that noticeable to her friends then I look at it it as a danger signal.
"someone asked me if we were dating because of the way we talk, see and touch each other, that person also told me that the guy seems very protective of me."

Again this is my opinion from what I read. I am not personally familiar with the people, so all I can do is read and make suggestions. Not all will like them.

kp2171

please use more restraint in punching the disagree button. you are here, asking for help. when a post isnt exactly in line with your situation, please explain it better.

if you rate peoples answers with disagrees left and right youll find nobody wants to spend time on you, just to be slapped in the virtual face.

its ok... people new to the boards tend to do this... when in doubt, if you disagree, talk it out with another post stating why you disagree, if the person is seriously off base, then maybe disagree.

theres a lot of things ill disagree with, but i respect the varied opinions of a public forum. unless someone is factually incorrect, mean, or obscene i dont use the disagree rating much.

and people who use it for vindictive reasons end up in my "ignore list"...

Washington1

I believe you already no the answer!!

Now kick (Get-it: Kick) back, and enjoy your new relationship! Write back if things start to change for the worse, or if you would like to share your good experiences.

kp2171

it happens. especially to people new to the boards. its ok.

when in doubt, talk it out.

disagrees throw "red marks", called "reddies", on a members reputation. while these dont honestly mean a darn thing, they annoy the crap out of people.

so... welcome to AMHD. its a great site with good people who want to help you.

some of us are callous and coarse. direct and in your face.

dont take it too personally. most are here with good intentions.

and welcome to AMHD.

GDH0034

I don't see any red flags. However, I think it might be too early to notice those red flags. Bottom line is you wont really know what type of guy he really is in a relationship until you make it a point to be in a relationship with him. The truth will come in time as to what type of guy he really is. If after a month you feel concerned, that would be the time to call it off. People break up all the time and if it means ending your friendship with him as well so be it. But, word of advise, if after a month you feel uncomfortable don't even try to talk it out with him and have him work on his over possesive attitude because it wont work. It may work for a awhile but, bottom line, people wont change overnight. Eventually he may change and if he is the right guy for you your paths will cross at a later date. Fait has a way of working things out.

JBeaucaire

Well, I read the approved rules on using the disagree option, and one states the Original Poster can disagree if the advice given is incorrect for their situation.

Based on that, I believe her use of the disagree was spot on.