| So we met up yesterday.
Long story short, I was with this girl at college for 2 months. We broke up when summer started since she couldn't give me 100%(We are 5 hours apart in the summer and she had loom ex boyfriend problems at home)...I went to see her yesterday after she told me she wanted to see me. We were never in an official relationship but we had a lot of mutual feelings and sex.
Yesterday was so awkward with her. I get out of the train and I hope that I see her right away and I don't. I go to the car and we meet and hug for a long time. No kissing or anything. We go to lunch and I asked, are we good now? And then it just got on that whole topic. I asked one of our mutual friends for advice and this friend I guess went to go try find out what's going on with her and she already knew that I had asked. She just wants me to come to her and talk. And she was just very, non-committal I guess is the right word? Like, she told me that I was trying to tell her what to do by suggesting to not go where the ex is, etc. And I explained that that wasn't the case.
We ended up hanging out for maybe 4-5 hrs...basically had lunch and did a bunch of errands her mom dropped on her. She even said that she has no clue where the girl that I really liked at school went. She says that she has no motivation anymore. Her job hasn't started and she just resorts doing things for her parents all day. At night, she says that she goes out drinking with friends and always sees the ex around. While he isn't a problem anymore, she says that the drinking kind of gets her away from reality. This is just so shocking to have me sitting there listening to her be so depressing. It just makes me want to help her, but there's nothing I can do. We joked around at some points, but overall, it was awkward because we weren't being her and I that we always are. She doesn't know why she feels this way about everything. She doesn't talk to people at school very often and just hangs out with some friends at home mainly. She is an absolute emotional mess and I just want to help her.
Finally, at the end of the day, she tells me that she is 100% over her ex boyfriend, but not totally over the relationship. This confused me. And I just tell her, then why did you start up with me then? And she says that she knew she was totally over it while we were at school, just that she got home and she realized that she isn't over the relationship. She only wants to be friends with him. Apparently, he has this bad rep with drugs and such now and he does them because of the breakup. She told me when summer started that she couldn't commit 100% and she still can't. She still likes me a lot, is attracted to me and all. But she wants to be able to give me all of her. I told her before I left that I would wait for her because I care, but I can't wait forever. A friendship has to be rebuild before we can ever think about a relationship.
I did text her today saying like, I hope you had a good day today and all. And she immediately responded to my texts. A lot of one word answers and such, but I'm just not trying to put pressure on.
We had a lot of things working against us...we were only really "together" for 2 months before school ended. Not a large base obviously. Not being able to see each other when problems happen. Etc. I want that connection we had back so badly. I guess it'll just take time and I'll see if it's meant to be.
What's your take on this situation now? What should I do for the rest of the summer? What should I do moving forward with contacting her and such? My ultimate goal would be pick up where we left off at school. Your thoughts?
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