At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
I work with my mom in a cafeteria and a guy that comes through the line every morning asked my mom about me (if I was single and what not). So he gives me his number and I don't call him because I am to shy, so my mom gives him my number. He calls me while I was out to supper with my mom and my aunt(who I also work with). I ended up inviting him out to horseshoes Monday night with a lot of my family there. He got along great with my family and then he asked me what I was doing next friday or saturday. I said I was going camping with my family, and he could stop by if he wanted to. So my Aunt came and sat by us and she was like "So are you coming camping with us this weekend". And he said yes. And so the problem is, is that I just found out today (by a coworker, not by him) that he has a 4yr old little boy. And he is going to be at the campground this coming week-end.
What should I say, if anything?
He is 28, I am 19. And I have never really been in a serious relationship. And I am a virgin. I am freaking out because I don't know what to do. My mom is mad at me because she says if you like him, you like him... having a kid shouldn't matter.
I don't know how to take this information. Any advice would be great! Thanks
I HIGHLY doubt Iowahawkeyes came on here to have her family insulted. And your immature for your ability to determine whether or not it was correct of you to decide.. that her mother "sucks." This isnt your life, whether she drinks or not is up to her and her family.
She came on here for advice on a man with a child.
I know many girls at 14 that are moms so by 19 I am sure that by the time he might get around to maybe wanting to marry her that she would be accustomed enough to the kid and all that she would do just fine.
I think he is worth going out and getting to know and see where it goes. Nowadays it is common for many guys to already be dad to at least one kid so why pass one up.
You need to focus on being a 19 year old. Stop drinking, go shopping, hang out with friends, and date college aged guys. You and your mom talking about your brother's drug problem of a few beers just doesn't make sense to me...maybe she needs to focus on your underaged drinking as well. It seems like there's parenting issues at hand. I just know my mother would never permit that, nor would she have permitted me to date a 28 year old at 19...the maturity levels are just too different, and USUALLY that 28 year old has their own agenda.
I didn't mean for this to sound harsh...just trying to keep it real with you. Best of luck to you.
I guess I dont see the problem... Most people under 21 are going to drink anyway.. Her mother is smart enough to see it and acknowledge there is a need for experimentation. They are going to drink anyway, with or without permission.
My parents allow my 19 year old brother to drink, when he is home.. It started at 18...
BUT, I also believe he has every freaking right to drink anyway.. He is fighting for America and is going over seas in a few months. I think if you are old enough to fight or die for your country you should be old enough to drink. My opinion...
At 19 you are an adult, and dating whatever age of a person is your choice. Maturity levels don't come with age.. it depends on the person.
yeah at 19 you are legally free to date any age you want, even someone old enough to be your grandfather. That should not be the issue here since we do not know her or the guy and her mother is okay with it.
I would be very careful. In what you have written, you two haven't actually gone on a date. One on one. Your family has been around at every meeting. Which is fine and is probably very safe. But, to be asked to be his girlfriend at this point is rushing!!
*When he initially got to the campground, he was drunk - and got on your nerves. RED FLAG Number ONE.
*He led you off (like a child) to pick up your trash. RED FLAG Number TWO.
*He asked you to sleep with him in his tent. HUGE RED FLAG Number THREE.
Proceed with caution. He is more experienced than you - not just because he is older. But because you haven't had a serious relationship, he has a kid, etc., etc.
Take it slow. If you like him, great, but take time to find that out.
Once you figure out if you even like him, consider the "boyfriend" issue. Then consider the child factor.
Really if you want to have a safe and practical vs learn from your decisions debate maybe it would be good to start your own post cause I don't think the OP came here for a debate but just a little insight and direction. I think she has gotten that with everything everybody has suggested so far.
Linear Mode
