Well- I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now and everything has been going. But I realized that he has a checking account and does not even know the following A. how to write a check. B. how direct deposit can save you from going to the bank to cash your check. C. How to balance his money. He lets his mom do everything for him when it comes to his money. He thinks of her as his personal accountant. As a side note he is 33 years old and I am 22. He still lives at home with his parents. I still live at home but i have a full time job and i go to school full time and can manage to balance my bills and check book. Also he does not even know how to do laundry or clean his room. What do you think- do you think that i should let this blow over about the whole knowing how when it comes to the checking thing. I dont know what to think.

danielnoahsmommy

no offense for the following; a 33 year old who live at home with mother,unable to care for basic finances and dates a 22 year old.(no offense meant) he has problems. he cant relate to his women his age or take care of himself. you know what i mean or you would not have written

jjwoodhull

Of course - you know much more about him than we do... But I would be cautious of a man who is 33, lives at home and has his mother take care of him. First, if you become more serious with him (live together or get married) is he going to expect you to "take care of him".
Also, how lazy is he that he has not bothered to learn how to do simple things in day to day life. Most people are balancing their own checkbooks by the time they are 15. I don't think it's a matter of being "slow".

Homegirl 50

I would venture to say that he is probably quite content with his life as it is. So the question is, do you want to be with someone like this and why have you been with him for a year?
If he is slow, you should know that after a year.
I think it's strange he does not know how to do those things, but maybe he does not have to because he has mom to do them, and maybe he does not want to. You may want to be with someone who maybe more suitable for you.

JBeaucaire

You call him your boyfriend. So, what does that mean? The guy you are considering to take care of you the rest of your life? Or just a guy to hang out with?

Why are you even dating? Is there a goal here or is it just for fun?

Its good that you are paying attention to who he is, because...well, that's who he is. He's not going to change, so it's important that you're paying attention.
Do you have a choice? You're not considering giving him grief over that, are you? He is who he is.

You're dating to find out who a guy is, not to make a list of things he needs to change...that's just pointless.

He is who he is. If you like who he is, keep dating. If not, leave him alone. Don't give him grief just because you wish he was someone/someway else...or smarter. He has the right to be who he is.

Right?

helpnow

Why does he live at home with his mom?

menoshoes

He lives at home because at one point he was married and his wife cheated on him with in a year. He had to sell his motorcycle and cars that he had for the divorce and ended up going back home. He had a lot of anger issues and had to get thru them- he has really changed I cant tell that he had anger issues. He sells Harley's and loves his job but does not make enough to live on his own. Between the old cars he has and all of the hunting trips he does that is where the most of his money goes. I really like being with him. He still makes me smile when we talk on the phone and I like hanging out with him. I dont know if I should now ask his mom to hand over the check book and let him figure out his finances. What do you think?

411Help

Take away the training wheels and let him learn to ride on his own.

411Help

You sound like an excellent girlfriend.

JBeaucaire

I still say "trod gently" here.