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Home > Family & People > Dating   »   can anyone see my point of view.

 
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Old May 19, 2007, 09:49 PM
plancarte baseball 27
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can anyone see my point of view.

i met this girl and we've been hanging out and stuff for a litlle over a month and well i took her to a dance and the whole day went perfect and we kissed and well we totally planned to chill again...


basically this thursday i got a ring and was going to take her to the spot we first kissed and get on my knee and ask to her to go out with me ya know the idea cause before then we were just friends and i wanted her to kinda be my girlfriend ...but then after everything she said she wasn't ready for a relationship and i pretty much told her i'd wait and that the ring was her's and that when she was ready she could wear it....and i mean i am ready for a relationship because i like her alot but i'm not because she has softball and i have baseball the whole summer but we only live a hour away and we could atleast hang out 2 days every week and we could call each other and leave messages all we wanted

but today after i got home from a huge baseball game i called her sister and told her how that night went and that i planned on going to her graduation because i asked her if she wanted me to and i said i would and that i liked her alot but for now i just wanted to be friends and be there for her and i know that maybe like 3 or 4 months down the road we might hook up....


and her sister basically said that i shouldn't even go to her graduation and just to give her time and space and not to talk to her for about or week or so and then after that time to call her then and see if she wants to hang out and even have anything to do with me....


HONESTLY--tell me what you think about that...please i need some comforting advice

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Old May 20, 2007, 07:03 AM   #2  
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WOW, YOU WOULD HAVE SCARE TO SH-- OUT OF ME IF YOU SHOWED UP AFTER ONLY A MONTH OF DATING AND HANDED ME A RING ! I'D HAVE RAN THE OTHER WAY....FAST. BUT THEN YOU SAY " I ONLY WANT TO BE FRIENDS FOR AWHILE ! WHICH IS IT.. YOU'RE SENDING OUT MIXED SIGNALS , BOY. NO WONDER SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE YOU. Give her a little time, then call her and TALK.. Let her know that you really like being with her and spending time, but that you just want to take it easy and see where the relationship goes from there. Ask her if SHE is comfortable with that. Asking her what SHE wants out of the relationship. If she seems uncomfortable, drop the subject and just go for pizza...lol Take it easy if things don't work out, and they may not, learn from what you did. Take it easy . Know what you want BEFORE you start opening your mouth. And Please relax, and take the relationships as they come. If they're meant to be more, they will be. If they aren't you'll know that too in time. Good luck !
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Old May 20, 2007, 07:28 AM   #3  
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no i was going to ask her out...like the ring was something else i mean i was going to get on my knee and be like "heather will you be my girlfriend"....seriously i mean it wasn't like i was going to ask her to marry me or something like that...
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Old May 20, 2007, 07:37 AM   #4  
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dont be too hard on yourself, coz its sweet that a guy is actually able to event think about committing in a real relationship, maybe write to her, and tell her how you feel that way.sometimes when people talk it all gets a bit screwed! and dont ever get down on one knee with a ring after a month. scary !
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Old May 20, 2007, 08:03 AM   #5  
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You came on way to fast and went over board with the ring thing,

first you don't "ask someone to be a girl friend, they just become one, you date and go out and hang out, you buy her a nice gift and just give it to her.

You scared her big time most likely scared you will be a stalker or something.
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Old May 20, 2007, 08:06 AM   #6  
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No, I cannot really see your point of view here. I will tell you why.

It sounds like you had one date, even though the two of you were friends first, you still only had one date. So far, so good.

From what you have said, you have really advanced this relationship without considering her feelings. Giving a girl a ring signifies a promise. She was not ready for that. You two had no significant time invested in the relationship. You went from step one to step ten in one leap. She may like you, but you scared her. How can she give something to you in the relationship that she does not know if she can?

Take the advice from her sister. Wait a week after graduation then call. See if this girl is even willing to see you again. She may have the idea that you are already possessive - the ring - and want to stay away from you. While you be ready for the relationship, she is not. So please take your time. Maybe even consider starting over from square one with her, if she allows.
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Old May 20, 2007, 08:16 AM   #7  
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You are moving way too fast and way too furious!!!! Relationships develop slowly over time. Not one month, but months and months.

Typically to a girl a ring signifies engagement or marriage (especially when you get on your knee, that should be reserved for a proposal), so you scared her to death. She is not ready for that kind of relationship yet. If you wanted to get her a gift, a necklace or earrings would have been a little more appropriate.

I agree that you should wait until a week or so after graduation. At that time you can tell her that you are sorry that you came across as possessive and needy, you really didn't mean it to come out quite so strong. You just want to know if she will be your girl. Tell her you aren't ready for a commitment such as marriage. You would just like to be her boyfriend and would like her to be your girlfriend.
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