OK, here's the deal...

I met this AMAZING girl back in March. In May, she came over one night, and told me that she was completely in love with me, and that I make her feel like nobody else ever has before. She said that she wanted desperately to move in with me, because it hurts her to be away from me for any amount of time. About a week after that, I got kicked out of my apartment and had to find a new one. We found one together, and she signed the lease with me. I explained to her beforehand that it's not a game, and not to sign it if she thought it was. She told me she'd be moved in by Halloween, which I thought was reasonable. Well, it's now September, and she has not said a single thing to her parents about moving in with me. She says she doesn't know when she'll be able to. She says she doesn't have the "balls" as she puts it, to stand up to her parents. By the way, she's 21, and I'm 24.

Up to this point, she has been helping me pay for the rent here, helping with the bills, etc. She's not showing any signs of not wanting to pursue this relationship further. How long should I sit here and wait for her? I love her more than anything in the world, but I can't help feeling like she's been dragging me along up to this point as far as moving in is concerned. To this day, she tells me, in her own words, that she "wants this so bad she can taste it." She lives about an hour away from me, and comes out to see me every single night after work, which is like 12am or so. I don't understand her reasoning behind this, and I need someone else's opinion, because every single time I bring it up to her, she breaks down crying, knowing that I'll stop talking about it because I'm in love with her, and don't want to see her crying. Someone help!

edzmedz

she obviously has her reasons. if you really love her like u say u do, you must wait for her. Apart from this issue, is everything between you two ok?

XxSideshowPunkxX

Yeah, everything's been perfectly fine! We celebrated our 6 month anniversary yesterday, and everything was awesome! She's the only girl I've ever been with that I feel I can be myself around, instead of holding back all the time. She says it's the same way with me. This seems to be the only issue between us, and although I don't want to keep bringing it up, I can't sit here and act like I'm not thinking about it. I am. A lot. I'm willing to wait for her, but there has to be some sort of limit.

Emland

Is she the old fashioned type? Perhaps her parents are the kind that will disown her if she moves in with someone that isn't a husband.

Just a thought.

edzmedz

well if it's a longterm thing between the two of u , what's a few more months?!.. if you feel there is a limit to waiting like u say , then wait for a few more days (after the last time u mentioned this) then tell her u are willing to wait but she needs to specify a date when she will give you a definitive answer even if it's in 10years. (of course u can say it without meaning it)
Anyway are u sure about this??? trust me most relationships go very badly when it involves living together! A relationship lasts about 70% less of what it is supposed to when the partners live together. There is even a new trend now where married couples live separately in their apartments and it works! they can stay for a night at each other's place but they don't live together. well then again that's in France so ...hehe i am not sure

XxSideshowPunkxX

See, that's the whole thing. I have NO PROBLEM waiting for her.....if she gives me some sort of time frame. I DO have a problem being told something will happen, and then watching it not happen over and over again. It makes me feel like I'm being led on in a way. Hey, if she said to me, "I'll move in July 5th, 2009," I'd be happier than a pig in , because then at least I'd have some kind of answer. Right now, it's open-ended, and I hate that.

J_9

Why don't the two of you talk to her parents TOGETHER!!! It will show them that the two of you are committed and are making decisions together.

She gave you a time frame, she said "by Halloween." Halloween is still a month away.

XxSideshowPunkxX

I actually had that idea like 2 months ago. I figured it would be the mature thing to do, to show that this isn't something that's just gonna go away. She's too afraid to....or at least that's the reason she's giving.

XxSideshowPunkxX

OK, so here's an update. Today she came over, and we got in a discussion about this whole situation. A friend of mine suggested that maybe she doesn't want to move in because we're having financial problems right now. I brought that up to her, and told her that "a friend" told me that, and it seems pretty valid. RIGHT AWAY, she gets her back up, and goes, "I wish my friends wouldn't talk to you like that." Now, truth be told, I did NOT speak to ANY of her friends, which leads me to believe that she said that to one of her friends, and was worried they told me. MY thing is, if that's her reasoning behind this, then that's fine. I just wish she would have told me that from the start, instead of feeding me excuse after pathetic excuse all along. She denies having said anything like that to any of her friends, but I honestly don't believe her. Any ideas? Think she DID say something? I would be aggravated if she was talking to one of her friends about something like that before me, since it basically is OUR LIFE together that she's talking about...I feel like I should be the first one told, no?

edzmedz

Get serious! If she has any friends at all, especially "girlfriends", than this is the topic you should be worried the least about . You DON'T want to know what other stuff they talk about lol.