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untrammeled · Apr 7, 2008, 06:47 AM

I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years.. she said she wanted to marry me and spend the rest of her life with me... until two months ago, when she started talking to her ex again.. I figured it was OK because she loves me, and I trusted her. However, I was wrong. She cheated on me with him and not says she is confused and loves us both. I want to be with her despite how she has hurt me. But she is so indecisive... one minute she says I'm the one , the next I'm not, and the next minute she wants me again. I don't understand it... she hasn't seen her ex in days and hasn't talked to him... but I fear she may actually leave me for him. Anyone with any advice or anything.. please leave it...

MissNaughty · Apr 7, 2008, 07:07 AM

I feel sorry for you! I have always had bad relationships so know how it feels to be hurt. I personally don't think you should stay with your girlfriend. Sorry but if she thought you were enough and she loved you then she wouldn't be like this with her ex. She was bang out of order for cheating on you as well. You deserve better and you need to be in a relationship with someone who loves you and someone you can trust and won't hurt you in the way that she did. Move on! It will hurt for a while but you will feel better for it afterwards-take it from someone who knows!

xxxlovecanhurtxxx · Apr 7, 2008, 08:00 AM

Well. Your girlfriend cannot love both of you two. Because you cannot love someone with your whole heart with your heart not letting go of another. If she really loves you then she would not have cheated on you. Sorry to say but she must not love you and must have always still had feelings for her ex. She wouldn't have contacted him if she didn't. If I were you I would move on because of the way she has hurt you. You need a girl who will love, appreciate, and a girl you can trust with your life. I hope everything works out for you. :)

the_gentleman · Apr 8, 2008, 11:24 AM

I agree. You can not take her back because you will still have that lingering thought in the back of your mind on who she really loves. The faster you get out the quicker you will heal and be able to move on.

talaniman · Apr 8, 2008, 12:03 PM

I want to be with her despite how she has hurt me.

Given her past behavior, and her present confusion, I hope you listen to the other posters, and chose to run for the hills. She has wronged you, and has you thinking in a very unhealthy way. Why would you want some one who does that? Run from her before she makes you into a weak pathetic puppy, and she will, at the rate your going.

toysruskid000 · Apr 8, 2008, 12:57 PM

I agree with everyone.. because if you do stay together that will always stay in the back of your mind and if she comes home late because of something she had to do.. You will immediately think she was with him.. and you will not have that full trust in your relationship. I always had 3 rules before I committed to someone because I have had some abusive and cruel thing happen to me behind my back and I learned the hard way

Rule 1. NO JEALOUSY There are only 2 sexes in this world.. men and women.. The opposite sex is going to be around everywhere and you have to have that full blown trust to know your man or woman loves you.. and when they flirt with your other half.. you know he or she is going to tell them they have someone.. its called respect..

Rule 2. If you find someone else while we are in a committed relationship that you want to go have sex with... BREAK UP WITH ME FIRST! There is no pain that hurts so deeply and so horrible and sticks with you for along time.. sometimes forever.. That is just plain heart-less.. and very cruel.

Rule 3. NO Lying.. How can you trust someone that can't tell you the truth..
If you are looking for unconditional love she is not the one..

But if you want her here is an old saying..

If yiou love something very much
Set it free
If it does not come back to you.. it was never meant to be yours..
If it does.. love it forever!

untrammeled · Apr 8, 2008, 10:20 PM

Originally Posted by untrammeled

I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years.. she said she wanted to marry me and spend the rest of her life with me... until two months ago, when she started talking to her ex again.. I figured it was ok because she loves me, and I trusted her. However, I was wrong. She cheated on me with him and not says she is confused and loves us both. I want to be with her despite how she has hurt me. But she is so indecisive...one minute she says im the one , the next im not, and the next minute she wants me again. I dont understand it... she hasnt seen her ex in days and hasnt talked to him... but I fear she may actually leave me for him. Anyone with any advice or anything..please leave it...

Me and my girlfriend have opted to take a break... however, I still see her and hang out with her... but she also talks to her ex... however only over the phone.. I'm not sure what to think.. I want her so bad... and there is much more to it that me just being a weak puppy... but I can't tell what she is thinking... she is still all over me and really all she does is talk to him in text or over the phone for short periods... but I still don't know... and is it really fair for her to be with either of us... because its going to be the same way if she is with him.. any further advice would be great

ampersandra · Apr 8, 2008, 10:35 PM

It's good that you're taking a break. But I don't think you're really going into the spirit of the break since you're still worrying about what she'll do. Why not just take a deep breath and walk out of this issue for a while? Fill your brain with other thoughts, hang out with friends, relax a bit. When you return to the grind of figuring out what to do about your relationship, you'll have a clearer mind.

talaniman · Apr 9, 2008, 06:14 AM

Is there something in the water or what? Why would a healthy male put up with that kind of treatment? What does she have that you would trade your dignity, and self respect for? In your heart you have to know this is not a situation for you, so get unstuck and out of it.

untrammeled · Apr 9, 2008, 07:33 AM

All of you people are right... I decided to just be friends with her because she really is my best friend... and I think things will be better like this... and if she decides to come back to me so be it, but if it doesn't turn out that way... then I guess it just wasn't meant to be so.. o well

billyhoyle · Apr 21, 2008, 10:50 AM

Please leave her. I know it will suck, I know you will be lonely, I know you will constantly think about her. But you can't stay around. I know getting back with her will be comfortable, because that's what you know. But you Can't. I was engaged to a girl and she cheated on me. I thought I still loved her and thought I could get past it, but I only did it because it felt easier to be with her then feel like crap. And in the end, that was the wrong decision for me. I should have never spoke to her ever again because she ended up hurting me again. It will absolutely suck to never talk her again, but from what you have mentioned, this girl is to unstable to be with, and she has and will continue to mess with your head and drive you crazy. Hang out with your friends, find a friend who is a good listener and talk about it, find a professional to talk to. But please dude, don't speak to her again. She's not worth it, and I'll bet if you really think about it, you know she's not too.

confusionmax · Apr 21, 2008, 02:39 PM

I agree with the above comments. You did the right thing by leaving her. But do yourself another favor. Step away completely. If you can, take a small vacation and go somewhere. Just a small week with your guy friends. Divert your mind completely from this issue. Then, after a week or so, when your emotions have cleared up... think about how you truly feel. As a girl, if she's confused, leave her alone. Let her fig. out what she wants. I know this is very hard for you to accept, but you need to move on. Let her go. If she really does love u, she'll come back. But you will want her to want to come back on her own. Not because she still felt comfortable around u. and you never know.. maybe ull find someone else. My story is a perfect example. I was with a guy for 5 yrs. We were to marry. But I needed some space. We took a break.. and eventually separated. He went through the same pain as u, but now he's happily married. So don't worry. Everything will work out for sure. :)

soulsacrifice · Sep 28, 2009, 11:05 PM

Sorry man but that sucks. It sounds that she's confused but to cheat on you? I know its tough when you have feelings for her but that is a bit much to get over. You have to think it over and see if its worth it and the fact you guys have been together for two years on top of it. Think about it and talk to her about it. Good luck!

DerelictHerds · Sep 29, 2009, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by billyhoyle

she cheated on me. I thought I still loved her and thought I could get past it, but I only did it because it felt easier to be with her then feel like crap. And in the end, that was the wrong decision for me. I should have never spoke to her ever again because she ended up hurting me again.

That is the past 4 months for me. I feel you

ilovebam22 · Oct 27, 2010, 08:01 PM

Well I'm going througt the same thing. Me and my girlfriend we are 17 year old and, well my girlfriend looks at her myspace page all the time which drives me crazy I hate that, I tell her and she yells at me, she tells me she still loves her and that she has her heart but she loves me too. But then gets all crazy with me, I'm always with her I live with her for crying out loud so I don't know what to do!! We are going to be 2 year together and I effing love her so much she is my everything, I can't live with out her. SO I AM A WEAK PUPPY!!