Girlfriend doesn't know anymore

Ummm · #1 Jun 28, 2007, 04:35 AM

I've been in a great relationship for about 3 years. Everything was perfect. During this time she start working at a new job and begins going to school. It's understandable that there's going to be stress. (We're both in the same situation). Also, people at work/school began badgering her about not being married. Then a couple of nights ago she tells me she doesn't know how she feels about me anymore. She became severely confused about absolutely everything. About anything that I tried talking to her about was responded with "I don't know". So I know its been a decent amount of time and really did want to marry her, so I figured I would ask her dad for her hand (with success). I drove 5 hours on a work day to meet him and drove back the same day to propose. Now I know this would stop the badgering at work and make us both very happy, however the response was "Not Yet".

(OK I'm Irate, but not showing it) and want to know what's going on.

The conclusions that I've come to include:
She's confused and needs time to measure our relationship
She got badgered so much that it caused her to become emotionally detached
She wanted to be married way sooner (we spent 3 years together with 6 months in diff states, she came to live with me)

So what can I do, if anything to make this work?

Krs · Jun 28, 2007, 04:40 AM

Firstly i dont it was the right time to ask her father for her hand, then propose, when you knew she was feeling confused.

Give her time to reflect on what she wishes to achieve in life.

Ummm · Jun 28, 2007, 04:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ummm

I've been in a great relationship for about 3 years. Everything was perfect. During this time she start working at a new job and begins going to school. It's understandable that there's going to be stress. (We're both in the same situation). Also, people at work/school began badgering her about not being married. Then a couple of nights ago she tells me she doesn't know how she feels about me anymore. She became severely confused about absolutely everything. About anything that I tried talking to her about was responded with "I don't know". So I know its been a decent amount of time and really did want to marry her, so I figured I would ask her dad for her hand (with success). I drove 5 hours on a work day to meet him and drove back the same day to propose. Now I know this would stop the badgering at work and make us both very happy, however the response was "Not Yet".

(OK I'm Irate, but not showing it) and want to know what's going on.

The conclusions that I've come to include:
She's confused and needs time to measure our relationship
She got badgered so much that it caused her to become emotionally detached
She wanted to be married way sooner (we spent 3 years together with 6 months in diff states, she came to live with me)

So what can I do, if anything to make this work?

So do I help her through this or just let her be until she's ready?

Krs · Jun 28, 2007, 04:45 AM

Ask her!
Communication is the key!
Just dont be needy.

shorty_got_skills · Jun 28, 2007, 06:57 AM

i think you should tell her you guys need to have a serious talk! I think you should first ask her what is bothering her the worst. Then ask her what she wants to change. And make sure she is givin you full answers, and honestly. Marriage is a serious thing both of you need to be emotionally ready! well good luck tell me how it goes!

Ummm · Jun 28, 2007, 08:56 AM

We had a serious talk (yesterday) and all she could come up with is that she wasn't married along with no being able to make any friends. I realized that the badgering was bothering her and it doesn't make it any easier that she is ALWAYS around me. I know that getting out and being with people would make her feel like she didn't have such an issue, but I'm not about to find friends that she wants to hang out with. I know that three years isn't a short amount of time for a relationship, but it isn't overly long either.

What about getting her mind set about the fact that the only reason that she's feeling this way is because she had a bunch of people at work bother her. She now knows I want to be with her obviously, so how do I get her convinced that this and finding friends are the only reasons she is this way



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