Ask Me Help Desk - This girl I like has a Boyfriend.

I really like this girl who's my workmate. She has a boyfriend for 4 months now but I know her before her boyfriend does. I only know her by her name by just only last year. But now that she's new at work and I see her again we actually get to know each other better and got a lot closer, Mutual maybe.. We've been working together for 6 months now. We talk on the phone everyday for more than an hour. She even talks to me longer than she talks to her boyfriend and now she tells me how she wants to give up her relationship with her boyfriend but her soft spot(thats what she told me) stops her from breaking from their relationship. He begs her not to go and says he'll change for her but he still couldn't... they've been going on like this for more than 6 times. Well, all I could do is advice but my advice might make her think that I want her to break up with him and have me instead. I do tell her that I get jealous at times and she answers back with kissing me.

I really like her, I really do. We usually go out on a date and usually kissed while her bf's at work. I know its cheating but I couldn't help it and she likes it. We never went to bed though. We've been doing this for 2 months now. She even wants to take me and my Mom out to introduce her to my Mom and get to know each other. Plus, she told me that I could tell my Mom that she's my Girlfriend.

She and Her Bf are living together and I get so jealous every time I think about that. Living under the same roof which can make them do 'anything'. But they usually argue and whenever she blows up she tries to leave him, he begs and she stays. Soft spot, eh? Last November, they just dated for a day and he asked her to be his girlfriend which she agreed and after a month they lived together until now!

We went out last week we talked about us. We told each other that we really liked each other. I think I love her but I couldn't say it to her. I thought about her boyfriend and what we're doing isn't right. I guess I do respect their relationship at some times.

Should I still go for her?

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Originally Posted by Jaysac

I really like this girl who's my workmate. She has a boyfriend for 4 months now but i know her before her boyfriend does. I only know her by her name by just only last year. But now that she's new at work and i see her again we actually get to know each other better and got alot closer,, Mutual maybe.. We've been working together for 6 months now. We talk on the phone everyday for more than an hour. She even talks to me longer than she talks to her boyfriend and now she tells me how she wants to give up her relationship with her boyfriend but her soft spot(thats what she told me) stops her from breaking from their relationship.

She doesn't want to break up. You're her emotional doormat where she gets to dump the problems of her relationship. Her boyfriend says this, does that, doesn't listen to her or waste his time talking to her so she's got you to dump all her emotional issues on.

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Originally Posted by Jaysac

He begs her not to go and says he'll change for her but he still couldnt... they've been goin on like this for more than 6 times.

There you have it. She doesn't want to leave him.

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Originally Posted by Jaysac

Well, all i could do is advice but my advice might make her think that i want her to break up with him and have me instead.

But you do?

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Originally Posted by Jaysac

I do tell her that i get jealous at times and she answers back with kissing me.

So she can't be trusted, and neither of you respect the boundaries of a relationship.

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Originally Posted by Jaysac

I really like her, i really do. We usually go out on a date and usually kissed while her bf's at work. I know its cheating but i couldnt help it and she likes it. We never went to bed though. We've been doing this for 2 months now. She even wants to take me and my Mom out to introduce her to my Mom and get to know each other. Plus, she told me that i could tell my Mom that she's my Girlfriend.

But she has a boyfriend... so that would be lying.

What she really wants to do is see how far she can take this game she's playing. She's already got you hooked as her emotional doormat with a few kisses. She doesn't even have to sleep with you and your whipped. From her perspective... not bad. From yours... YOUR GETTING SCREWED OVER... WITHOUT EVEN GETTING SCREWED. Now she wants you to lie to your mother and tell her that your going out so she can weasel her way to your mom and get something from her. Maybe gifts, money, or just the thrill of knowing she can pull this off.

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Originally Posted by Jaysac

She and Her Bf are living together and i get so jealous everytime i think bout that. Living under the same roof which can make them do 'anything'. But they usually argue and whenever she blows up she tries to leave him, he begs and she stays.

PA-LEASE! He isn't begging her to do anything. He's in complete control, which is why she's got you to toy around with.

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Originally Posted by Jaysac

Soft spot, eh?

More like emotional game playing skank.

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Originally Posted by Jaysac

Last November, they just dated for a day and he asked her to be his girlfriend which she agreed and after a month they lived together til now!

I'd love to hear his version of that little story.

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Originally Posted by Jaysac

We went out last week we talked about us. We told each other that we really liked each other. I think i love her but i couldnt say it to her. I thought about her boyfriend and what we're doing isnt right. I guess i do respect their relationship at some times.

Should i still go for her?

Hell no you shouldn't go for her. She's a user, a cheat, a game player, and an emotional abuser in the waiting... You could actually say she's already done it seeing as how far emotionally gone you are and she keeps pushing the envelope. This girl is the type of girl that will if given the chance, get you, ruin you, and then leave you. Your going to wind up heartbroken if you pursue this. Stay away from this girl.

I don't think Chuff could have said it any better :)
He is totally right man we have all been the doormat before and it's a!! We think we are liked but we are just being so used man
She is the typ of girl that will give you her handbag in a nightclub and run off and jump on some other dude.. a typ of girl that calls her a girlfriend not a boyfriend
Trust me dude. No guy wants that its painful and annoying!

I understand that you cnat control how you feel but control how you act.. stop being a doormat your way to good for her.. I have been there before man and don't think by being really extra nice to her you will one day win her effection. Because look at her she has you and she knows you like her even if you haven't said anything she can tell and her boyfriend I mean she can't lose!. take matters into your own hands don't wait around to see what she does or for her to leave her boyfriend have your own life and your way :) act like you couldn't careless

Plus man if she kisses you while she is with her boyfriend what on earth makes you think she won't do the same thing to you? You can't trust her man she is playing both of you testing the waters.. make it easier on her and her boyfriend you should feel sorry for him! Poor guy knows nothing that could be you.. I'm in the same place you are and I have just left it well alone. As soon as I found out.. and its worked out so much better for me I have moved and I couldn't be happier

And I work with mine as well :) its all messy

And see how it goes

Good luck man!

I hope you realise that if she can treat a b/f like this she will treat you the same way down the road. Avoid the drama and leave this player alone. Period.

I just wanted to agree with the posts above, it's not worth it. But I also wanted to add, you've become the guy friend she can talk to about all her problems so she probably doesn't think of you in the context of someone she would start dating.

DUDE I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!

Im going through something similar at the moment with a girl who has a boyfriend they've been going out for I reckon coming up to 2 years and they're screwin (dam!! ) I really like her and I know she likes me she's kissed me before and I'm fining out what people think about the whole thing on the internet if you really want to find some good information search Derek Drake he's a champion and will help you get her for yourself

Also have a look at this site

How to Get a Taken Girl Who Wants to Be More Than Just Friends - wikiHow

Honestly I don't think she really wants to leave her boy and you need to be a little more firm seriously find Derek Drake

GOOD LUCK