Girl was crazy about me, then visited ex.
Asked Dec 17, 2010, 07:26 PM
Hey guys, I'm Mark. I met this girl at my cousin's wedding close to a year and a half ago. I approached her and we hit it off right away and could tell she was very attracted to me. After that night we stayed in contact at least on a weekly basis. I was currently living at home in St. Louis w/ my parents prior to joining the Air Force and she's from Montana going to school at Gonzaga in WA state. She started her freshman year and a few months later I left for basic training. While we met she was on a break w/ her ex she'd been with throughout high school. Soon after the wedding they got back together on and off. I kept in minimum weekly contact though and she was always happy to hear from me. She managed to write me a little in basic which I thought was a really good sign. Every time we spoke she was very happy and positive and thought she had an awesome personality.
Once I graduated and was in tech school she broke it off w/ her boyfriend due to communication and difference in their beliefs. We began texting everyday and began to skype for up to over 3 hrs some nights. We both felt an awesome connection and felt we could be our absolute selves w/ each other. There were no big disagreements or conflicts ever.
In July, I got stationed near Rapid City, SD. A long way from WA, but a better distance than being in STL. As we talked she was real fond of the idea of coming to see me and we worked out a weekend but then was forced to cancel due to me being given a last minute project. Since that point I knew things felt different. She said we'd for sure work something out. She was now real busy just beginning her sophomore year w/ 19 credit hrs and now a resident assistant.
She still enjoyed talking but it became less and less and when I asked about her visiting it went from, "for sure" to "I'll try" or "I'll see what I can do". So I confronted it in a facebook message and asked if she was maybe moving on because she seemed not so sure. Two days later she responded and said things have been crazy busy and she knows I'd like some definite answers but she can't give them, and that I'm a great guy and loves talking to me but can't visit and we have too much going on.
So my best method was to not fight it but agree because I know she is busy and told her I didn't feel it was the right time either. However, she texted me a little here and there afterward. A month later goes by I happened to ask what her plans were for this weekend and said she was hitting up Seattle. I asked if she was going w/ her girls she said no and wouldn't specify. So I asked who? She said she was going by herself to visit a friend. At this point I knew but just wanted to hear her say it. I ask your ex goes to school there, you guys on good terms, do you think you'll hangout? She said that's actually who she's staying w/ and that their great friends now and have been talking and she wanted to see him because he won't be home for Thanksgiving. I also ask do you think there's a possibility of starting anything back up? She said she didn't know and that she's going with the flow. In my mind if she's staying with him and haven't seen each other since breaking their going to be rekindling all types of emotions. I told her I'm not going to say I'm upset by this but I definitely find it interesting she didn't have the time for me but has no problem flying out to see him after she told me she wouldn't go back to him and when they disagreed on some pretty important stuff to her. We talked about it further and I said if he invited you to spend the weekend with him he wants to get back together with you. She sounds like she's unsure of his intentions but I don't think she wants to admit that he wants to get her back. At this point I told her I'm going to be busy throughout this weekend and coming up but I'll text her when I have time. She comes back monday posting on facebook that she had a great weekend. I asked if you felt like you were together she said yes but they'd have to talk it over. I talk to her a couple weeks later and she says she has no idea where it will go. I say well I hope he didn't use you by getting you to come visit. She says he didn't. So I asked how often does he talk to you? She responds with we talk when we have time. The fact that she steered away from what I asked made me think he could be being shady and she's in denial of it. Later I find he was supposed to maybe stay w/ her while in the area for a football game but didn't end up going. Last week she posts on her facebook that she's fed up w/ guys right now so it all seems like its going the way I thought.
She seemed like a great girl and its hard to think of not communicating w/ her after over a year of talking. I even told her I think she's confused and I think her age has something to do with it. She's 19, and I'm 23. This girl was once willing to drive 12 hrs to see me so I have a hard time thinking she'd totally forget about me but at the same time I have to move forward and go into no contact. I feel, if she cares enough she'll contact me. I think she def misses the good times w/ her ex but when they were together things were pretty on and off. I've been 3 weeks of no contact and about to send a friendly hello. Nothing much but just to check in. Sorry this is like a book I'd definitely appreciate the input from anyone w/ some experience on this thanks!