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    JoshRCT's Avatar
    JoshRCT Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 25, 2007, 03:35 AM
    Getting the Girl
    All right, I'm in an unsure predicament right now, and it is neither good nor bad. I've never officially dated/kissed... a girl, I would sometimes make attempts to flirt but I am what some would call shy in person lol. I recently started at a new restaurant job, and am really interested in this girl who hosts there. She is beautiful, fun, and an all around sweet girl. I'm not a completely shy or quiet type, and I dress fine and act normal, but when it comes to women I like I can admire but contact is hard. Now her on the other hand, she is currently not dating and she's in the same grade as me (at another school I might note). I've sparked some conversations with her occasionally on breaks, and spoke with her about her family and life. Now the nerving part is she's about 10 months older than me, and she's the one driving. Now, not to get all weird, I could have had my permit a while ago but I won't have a car for a while. It just make me concerned considering she would be the first hand in driving to get me and well she's older lol. I know the age difference or driving is nothing large, but I'm starting to find feelings for her. I've contacted her a few times on the phone, and recently text her how I would like to hang out with her some time. Now here's the question, should I just go out and make an attempt to let her know I like her, and tell her how I think she's amazing and I would like to take her out (Or she take me out for the driving portion lol :( ) some time? I need to find an approach to let her know I like her, but get her to like me. When I'm at work I'm the shy gentleman, but in real I love to have the fun. She's an awesome girl (some would say the party type) and obviously other people are taking their times to speak with her. How should I approach her I suppose is my initial question. I do have feelings for her and I would like to ask her out before school or before someone else takes the upper hand in her life. While I tell myself to think the best when I text her every once in a while, I imagine the worse, but if its to the point where I feel somewhat jealous from other guys attempts to flirt with her and her reaction, then I feel I should do something. Any advice or tips on what to say and do to let this girl know my feelings would be very much appreciated. She's planning a party and said for me to come, which is where I suppose I was first going to attempt to speak with her. I'm just ready to do something rather than to wait and loose something great...

    I just feel like I need to find that confidence to approach her and openly flirt with her in an obvious way... She just seems like an open type, but I need her to see that's how I can (and usually like to) be. Maybe I'm just worrying and questioning too much, heck I was just worrying on whether I should post this lol.

    I just don't want to appear too forward, but don't want to appear unconcerned at all.
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #2

    Jul 25, 2007, 04:50 AM
    Well, you sound like a really nice guy and it seems like you've already taken the first steps. You have taken an interest in her in a really good way, talking to her about her life and finding out what she thinks of things.

    I wouldn't worry about the driving thing girls never worry when their boyfriends drive them, why should you? Its 2007, right? I would go for it, suggest doing something that you know she likes or a movie she has said she wanted to see. You never know. Good luck!
    victoria_mitchell's Avatar
    victoria_mitchell Posts: 242, Reputation: 32
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    #3

    Jul 25, 2007, 01:22 PM
    You should totally ask herto go out sometime. The worst that can happen is she turns you down which will make you more prepared and more determined the next time around. You know what they say "Practice Makes Perfect"... "At First You Don't Succeed, Try Try Again"
    mikezapwnzor's Avatar
    mikezapwnzor Posts: 99, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 25, 2007, 10:33 PM
    I would just go somewhere with her and some friends and hang out a few times, then after you get to know each other a little more, ask her out. If she says yes, then great, start planning things to do and talk to her at least once every other day. If she says no, just ask her if you guys can still hang out, and she will most likely say sure, and after time you can try to ask her again. Also, nice grammar and typing, that's also becoming rare around the internet, and I try to remember to type correctly.
    longshot's Avatar
    longshot Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 25, 2007, 11:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mikezapwnzor
    I would just go somewhere with her and some friends and hang out a few times, then after you get to know each other a little more, ask her out. If she says yes, then great, start planning things to do and talk to her at least once every other day. If she says no, just ask her if you guys can still hang out, and she will most likely say sure, and after time you can try to ask her again. Also, nice grammar and typing, that's also becoming rare around the internet, and I try to remember to type correctly.

    I agree with mike, the group date is great opportunity for you two to get to know each other in a non-threatening, no pressure environment. You have a great chance with this one, but if it doesn't work out it's really no big deal. Just don't try to make things happen too fast. Oh, and try not to let the jealousy thing show too much.
    JoshRCT's Avatar
    JoshRCT Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Sep 27, 2007, 10:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by longshot
    I agree with mike, the group date is great opportunity for you two to get to know each other in a non-threatening, no pressure environment. You have a great chance with this one, but if it doesn't work out it's really no big deal. Just don't try to make things happen too fast. Oh, and try not to let the jealousy thing show too much.
    Wow, looking back at this topic its funny to see how a person can change in a two month period. I seriously believe getting my job has taken me on a new path being engaged in conversation with women for not only relationships, but just good friendships. Since then, I've discovered more about this girl, and it turns out she just no longer holds my interest. Low and behold I find one of my greatest friends a month later is another hostess, and the current girl I'm trying to go out with is yet another hostess. I guess pulling in my courage and crossing the boundary really helps, because that fear of approaching "sets" of women and forming not only bonds but friendships has been eliminated from my life. The girl I'm currently trying to date is still older than me, and does drive, but I'm attracted to her on a more personal level rather than a basis of looks. Of course she's beautiful, but the little things she does when I'm at work make me feel very good inside, like when she grabs my waist and pulls me in, and how we both like to surf and have a good time. I really hope this can lead to more than a flirt, a relationship. I have no problems contacting her, and am currently trying to plan a date with her. Jealousy is not as much of an issue now, as I know this happens to any girl not in a certain relationship. But from my effort hopefully I can become involved in her life, as I certainly feel like I can trust her. I definitely appreciate the responses from this site, as they did help me get where I am now, and where I hope to be. I'll certainly put an update on my status later on at this site, and would like to leave a bit of advice for other members who might read this. Finding relationships isn't a plan, and isn't something you need to change yourself for or take so strongly. If you can just pass that little leap of uncertainty like I did, and take the strength to just talk to the girls your interested in, you'll find yourself in more than just relationships, but good friendships. Just relax, give confidence, and approach. It's not the end of the world, and tomorrow is another day. Once you find someone you like, of course flirt with her, just show that your interested in being more than friends. Of course all girls won't flirt back, but if their truly interested and do flirt back, than it will all be worthwhile. I can't even begin to describe how I feel when I'm around this girl, all of my shyness and uncertainty just falls, and I feel so good. Hopefully I take this somewhere, because it appears she's interested. Guess I'll find out Sunday...

    :) Thanks

    Oh one more piece of advice that I really had problems with before, don't over think things like approaching women or speaking with them, because you'll find yourself thinking bad possibilities. Just go right in, if she is special to you, then all should work out :D

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