Hi you guys, Im 21 yrs old so I dnt have whole alot of experience w/ dating, but Ive been dating this guy for a couple of mos, and I really like him alot, he's really cute and he's has a good personality,the only thing is he's a different nationality then I am, so it hasn't been easy for me, because i constantly feel uncomfortable when we go out in public, I feel like everyone is starring at us, and I get alot of mean looks from ppl, and I see ppl whispering and things, I even get made fun of by my friends, but they say there just kidding , but it bothers me, now when we're alone its fine, i just cant take the feeling that i get when were out in public, i know that sounds bad but i cant help the way i feel, and i even asked him if he feels the same way, and he says no he likes the attention, which kinda worries me, is he just using me using me for his own thrill?keep in mind i never dated out my race before, because of my parents thoughts about it, and I know that I shouldnt care what others think, but I do, is this relationship worth pursuing ,does any one have any thoughts or can relate to my problem, i'd really appreciate any feedback !!!

Fr_Chuck

I am married to someone of another race. And to be honest we get all sort of stairs, mostly from older people, since mix race couples are alot more commom now aday. We get asked if we are together at the store in line. We play it up, if a old couple stares at us ( ok I am over 50 so when I say old they are old) we lean over and kiss, say, lets give them something to look at. If someone says, I did not know she was black, I yell, oh my god, she's black, I am color blind and never knew.

But mostly it is just you seeing things that are not there, although there will be some. if you had a fat boyfriend would your frineds joke? if he was red haired, friends are normally just stupid,.

hermione

It is not quite the same situation, but I married an ex-con and getting my family and friends to get past that was hard. If you love this man and are happy with him, do not worry about what anyone else says. You may think that when he says he likes the attention that he is out for the thrill, but odds are he is trying to ease the tension that he senses from you. The universe gives us things that we have to confront on a daily basis and whether or not you go for the long run, trust that you are with this man for a reason and that maybe (if you believe in things happening for a reason) the universe and your heart knows what it and you need. If you do not believe in that sort of thing, than just talk to him. If he loves you, he will listen.

cinders831

Ok, I was married 10 years to a black man and I am a white female, this was in the 70's and we rarely had any problems at all. Where are you located? That could be a big factor in the issues these folks have with you.. it's a total shame that people are still brought up to hate.
I have 2 georgeous children and I only had one incident with some older white male making a comment about one of my babies. I, then being in my 20's, told him what I thought of him. I am not advising that at all. But it really didn't bother me.
Now I am in California and it's a flower garden here, many mixed marriages and no one really seems to care in almost all areas.
Your family , if it gets that far, will come around. All I had left was my 70 something year old grandmother at the time who at first hung the phone up on me when I told her. Later she said she was coming to visit and loved my family from then on. So you can teach an old dog new tricks
Hang in there and yes, work on not worrying about what others think. They are not going to pay your bills or give you a kidney if you need it!
Best of luck to you hun. Oh and someone up there said "What young boy doesn't love that kind of attention" that is very true, I don't see that as a red flag.

liz28

I dont know if this will help but here it goes.
In my family we have all races by marriages. We are black and my brother is marry to a Italian girl. I never knew the look and comments they recieved until I datd interacially and its sad that even today people still judge. I use to not want to go places with him cuz of the stares but it never bother him because he dont care what people say or think. As our rationship grew I stop caring. Later I relize people was not staring like I thought it was me and now we do alot of things.
Cuz of him I learned the only person opion that count the most is mines as long as Im happy who care cuz people will talk about u no many what. You have to live your life cuz u only have one life to live and if he treat you good what more can u ask for cuz cuz you wont find that many good guys around this days. Look at thegoals he have in life to see where hes heading.
As far as my brother, hes been marry to his wife since 1999. when he marry her she already had 2 kids, father wasn't and he was white, and you would think they wer his cuz thats the way he treat and they had 3more. They both have very good careers and are very well off.
In closing you do what is right and maybe ur bf is like mines where he really dont care what people think and u should not either.
Good luck!

Altenweg

Here's my thought. We are all members of the human race, regardless of skin color. If people are to closed minded to see that you are dating a wonderful guy and just see the color of his skin then you don't need those people in your life. I realize that this includes your parents, and I am not saying to cut them from your life, but maybe it's time to sit down and talk to them about their racism, because that's what it is. As long as the person you are with is kind, caring and loving then the color of his or her skin shouldn't matter one bit. You are not dating outside of your race, he is a human being, not an elephant, that would be dating outside of your race.

N0help4u

To me what matters is your love for each other. Many people settle for less and marry somebody they 'get along with' or they go through life not being able to find someone to love.
You can leave him and find somebody that you get along with and/or never find someone you love as much as you love him.
If you love him so much when you two are out in public go with a ton of confidence and let them see how much you two are into each other. Let them see the sparkle in your eyes and in your love for each other.
Fr_Chuck has good advice
when people see they can not get a negative feeling reaction by intimidating you they will learn to quit.

I raised my daughters telling them real love is hard to find so don't limit it to the color of skin because I would rather see you with a black guy that treats you like gold than a white guy that cheats and beats.

A good idea for later down the road might be to move to an area where people do not give you the look and attitude. I know where I live interracial relationships are getting to be the norm. Bi racial babies are starting to be equal in proportion to black or white babies.

talaniman

Your youth, and inexperience, doesn't help in regard with how to deal with things, so the bottom line is to enjoy yourself with who your with, and let everyone else kiss your booty. Your feelings are the only ones that count, and there are a lot of opinionated people out here. Don't let them be responsible for your happiness, that's up to you, so ignore ignorance, and be happy. They should be concerned with their own life, and leave yours alone.

MOWERMAN2468

Yes, and if you are feeling uncomforable, you know what you should do to stay within your own standards. If you don't think it is right, move on. If you are okay with it, then the way people look at things nowadays is that each person has their own choice, right or wrong often is in the eye of the beholder.