This girl I was with recently broke up with me. Basically I took her for granted and treated her like a convenience rather than someone I truly cared about. She told me that she still liked me, even that she still LOVED me, but couldn't do it anymore since she didn't feel like she wanted to date me anymore and the feelings weren't there for a while. I was heartbroken and begged her to reconsider, that I would change and that I wanted what she wanted now. It wasn't good enough, and she basically said she couldn't take me back on my word. She also said "You don't need my permission to show me you've changed". She suggested we start over as friends and see where it went, no guarantees (but I basically took it like we were just starting off slow and working it back up). One week later while we were hanging out I kissed her and she went with it and began kissing me back. I felt (and still feel) like she really does love me and maybe just needs time?

Anyways, we hung out again and for her sake we keep it strictly platonic. But then we had a fight since I still took this arrangement as we were getting back together eventually and she said she just didn't know. We had a really good talk (I thought at the time) where we basically told eachother the full truth about everything for maybe the first time. I guess I took it as "This is a great new start to something better" and she took it as "This brings closure to our relationship". A week after that she went on a date with some kid who's been hanging around our relationship acting as the best friend to her but really just waiting for me to screw up. She really liked it and started going out with him. I was of course upset and told her what she meant to me and that I love her. From her responses I got the feeling that it was a thing that time and space needed to heal. She never said straight up "No" but instead is doing a "I'm not saying it could never happen" but that she doesn't look at it like we're going to just get back together necessarily. I've been confused as well since throughout this whole thing she's been so eager to stay very close and stay friends. I know she still likes me since I heard from her best friend that she told her new bf that she wanted to take it slow because she still has feelings for me. But she's really into the new kid and maybe forgetting about me?

Anyway, maybe to speed up the process, I told her that I still liked her, still wanted to date her someday, but that I was ok with being friends and seeing where it goes. I spend a lot of time with her but it's so tough. She treats me in many of the same ways from when we first dated but always mentions how she's looking forward to plans with the new guy and stuff like that. Maybe because she thinks I'm over it too. The mixed signals are making me crazy because I know there's still a soft spot in her heart for me.

It hurts to be with her but I can't push her out of my life. I feel like if I show her I'm there and I really care this time and if I do the things I should've done then she will see that I'm legit and she can trust me. I may have broken her heart too badly but I wish she could let me make it better. I guess it's not the worst situation between us and she definitely is keeping me in her life, but I don't want to just be a fallback if her new relationship doesn't work out. I want to tell her that I love her and want to be with her and everything I feel but I don't want to scare her off. I feel like if I wait too long she will start to see me only as a friend. I want her to choose me over the other kid, not just come back to me because she can. At the same time I feel like I can't keep a safe distance since playing it too cool is what got me here in the first place. What should I do?

AlwaysWriting

I believe that you should tell her how you feel, and if you're scared to do that, then wait it out and tell her that you're still not comfortable with reuniting and that you need a little more time and space before making a commitment, even if it only is friendship.