Here goes nothing: I am 25. I had my first boyfriend last year. He lives in an hour from SF and I from LA. We had a long distance relationship. I used to call him and visit him as much as I could and when I would ask him to come, he would make money or work excuses as to why he couldn't. On my birthday, I went to spend my special day with him. He didn't welcome me with anything, but just to spend a few hours with him was enough. Later that day he told me that he wanted to give me a present. His present was oral sex. I said no, he begged and I said no. Later that week after returning back home. He placed a picture of him and his friend (a chick) on his profile. Very close together like if they were a couple. As I am on the air port thinking of giving him a surprise to see him before his b-day, I mentioned that his profile pic made my heart sink. He hold on to that and called me a child and said that we should be friends. I apologized and did not want to be a friend when I loved him. He insisted to be friends and I respected his decision. I suffered a lot. I never knew what a heart break was, but I felt so sad. About a month ago, he contacted me. Said that he wanted to amend what he had done and that he was an idiot for not knowing what he had (keep in mind that he has a new girl friend). I asked him what he wanted because I don't want to play games. I don't want to end up getting hurt. He swore on his dad's grave and told me not to over assume his relationship because it is not perfect. He said that if I loved him, he did too and to not keep him away. He did call me a about three times and texted me more. But I knew it was wrong. Before thanks giving, I told him how I felt about him because it is painful to love someone and not know what they want. I cried, but after that his texts stopped. I started to think that if he wanted me as he did, he would have come to me, but he didn't. And it pained me deeply because what is the point of contacting me and expressing that he wants to fix things and tell me when he comes back to me, I could show him love. This contact made my wound even deeper. And it hurts almost as the first day when he dumped me. So much that I'm tearing up as I am typing this. Just before Christmas day, I receive a text from him (just when I thought I would no hear from him again) and wishes me a wonderful christmas. Just that text hurt me so much. I don't understand. I didn't respond back, but it hurts. It hurts that his actions still hurt me so deeply. I just wish that one day I could forget about him and just not feel anything anymore. Anything to ease the pain?

You know, sometimes I wish that for one day, he could make the effort to come down and see me like I did. Just one time. But that will never happen. Neither I want a friendship because I have enough friends (even though he told me a month ago to relax because we would be more than that. How could I believe someone that tells you that when they have a girlfriend?). I am so silly.

WOW girl, you don't months certainly need guys like that!
Everyone mentions this, and it's true when it comes to trying
To move on and forgetting someone, NO CONTACT RULE!
Don't break your head, he is doing that because he knows for sure
You love him, see what happened here was that he didn't hear from you
So he called you, and you told him how you felt! After he maked sure you
Still loved him, he thinks he still has you in his palm!
Snap out of it, it is a painful progress, I am going through it now
Even though it hurted me breaking up with him for powerful reasons.
Look heal yourself first so you become a whole again, and forget
About him! No Contact, don't contact him, block him from FB, Twitter etc
No answering texts either if I was you, it would just open the wound more.
And if he were to text you is to make sure he still has you, its great you
Said No, he is NO good for you! If you keep him there still you will never
Get to move on, or it'll take longer! All the sentimental stuff from him
Throw it, no exceptions! And take your time, like this! You are so much worth it
You too have pride, lets see if he doesn't come begging for you after he is out of
Your life

Your message placed me in tears stranger, but you are right. I needed to read this. To me this has become an everyday struggle. You know what, sometimes it takes someone's advice to sort of help us through. I'll do what you say. I know this pain will go away and will not hurt anymore, right? Anyway, I deeply appreciate your words, and I wish you the very best in your life. Thank you so much.

You are welcomed =D! Its very painful for me too, but you know what, as life goes on you can't stop but to move on also! I too wonder if my ex is over me, (I broke up with him 2 months ago), if he thinks of me, and if he got into that relationship not to feeel lonely, if he still loves me as he said... I keep asking this questions to myself! And I can't find an answer, but I left him and as time is moving on I KNOW for a fact I made the right choice! I did love him, but its not always about him! It was his depression, his medication messed him entirely, and soon he didn't want to go out, became obssessive (wayyy too much) and started to get violent! He would have been perfect if only that was out of the way =(! We girls need to think about us too! 1year,and 2 months I saw him at least 6times a week for every day, and talked to him everyday! Look its hard, but we can do it =D! Nd don't get caught up by him telling you maybe in the future with him, its just to mess with your head... In the so called future as he says it'll be too too late, you will be living a better happy life with someone who learns and knows how much you are worth it.. Its okay to wonder, OK to cry, but after you are done dust yourself off stand up, look at yourself in the mirror and start loving yourself! WHat I'm doing? I know it may seem kind of stupid but I thought it will help you, ( In order for me to feel better, I emotionally changed my inside, I started to see positive things around me each morning ex: just for the fact I'M alive, having family, friends, that love me, seeing I am young and realizing life isn't over until we die, so we will have so many things to do and many people to meet.. the day is just beautiful going out, and distracting myself, I have a book in which I write the things I would have loved to tell him why I left him (I couldn't tell him face to face because he did react violent over the fone, he would not have had raised his hand at me, but would have tried to convince me and tried to kill himself so yeah CREAPY I KNOW) so and I don't want to talk to him, so I write things out, all the things I feel I write it down as if I was talking to him! As days move on I feel a lot better, and I started to realize I am moving on? How? Because sometimes I go off topic and talk about diff. things, and I don't write it down to him, but as a diary of what I did today! Ex: it was so much fun I went out with friends etc etc.. When I re read I don't find myself talking about him as much! Also its all about self steem, find a new hair cut, a new look that you would love do it, I did it and you don't know how much it raised my self-steem! I look in the mirror and do say I am pretty, I love the way my hair is, and suddenly you start loving things about yourself you might not have thought you would! All friends in FB did look astonished as how much I changed, and it boosted up my self-steem even more! This makes you think that he isn't the only one, that you were too much for him and you deserve better! This is what I am doing, and also since its new years NEW LOOK =D! Start positive, now there are times I do wonder about him, and its OK to wonder because after you have wondered so much you suddenly start caring less of what he is doing or whom he dates! Focus on yourself, because u need someone to heal your pain, and that is only you! Focuz on yourself, you feel good about yourself because I admire that you love him, I don't take it as a humiliation but rather as a wonderful person that actually knows how to love and care for someone, going the extra mile! Wow you just defined yourself as a person that you worry about others, and to me that's too wonderful! You will see

Life will hold you bright things, it isn't always bad! I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever needed to talk to someone I am here, I know how it feels talking to friends all the time about it! You don't know if your best friends will turn into an enemy tomorrow! So yeah just know that your not alone, and that I am also going through in some way as you are! Best Of Luck, your just too wonderful!