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-   -   My ex boyfriend broke up with and is now ignoring me.. But I want him back. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=581656)

  • Jun 13, 2011, 06:07 AM
    averytaylor
    My ex boyfriend broke up with and is now ignoring me.. but I want him back.
    Hey so my ex dumped me exactly one week ago. We were texting and talking about college and such, and he said he might be going to a college out of state at the end of the semester. I was PMSing and in a bad mood, so I said, "that puts a timeline on things then."
    (I'm just going to put our entire conversation that day, because I honestly don't know where it went wrong... )
    Him: What do you mean?
    Me: "is it really worth it to stay together if your gonna be
    him: "yeah I know what you mean now. It's whatever its already hard enough as it is because I work all the time but it's whatever you want to do."
    Me: I really just don't know.
    Him: "Me either I've been thinking about that ever since my dad said whenever I'm ready I can go to a real college."
    Me: Well what do you think?
    Him: "I really do like you a lot.. it's just hard to keep up because of work and stuff. Idk Nicole if we do break up we are still going to be best friends and hanging out!"
    Me: If it were up to me I'd with you as long as possible. But that might be me being selfish and not smart. Idk it would be hard to be just friends and thinking about that already hurts :\
    Him: I don't know what to do! I'm like in shock
    Me: Why?
    Him: Bc I never thought it would end up this way.
    Me: Can we talk about this in person?
    Him: Yes most deffinitely! I never thought that conversation about college would end up talking if we are going to stay together or not.
    Me: well it's a conversation we were going to have eventually
    Him: Yeah I guess your right! Hey I'm off all day tomorrow I think.
    Me: Well I can go out till 9 tonight
    Him: So do you want to come over later?
    Me: Isn't it a family night for you?
    Him: No mom and dad have people coming over.
    Me: what time can I come over?
    Him: Around like 5:30 :)
    Me: All right!
    Him: So what are you doing?
    Me: Watching role models. Sorry I think I'm being a little emotionally unstable today...
    Him: it's okay I kind of am too! :(
    Me: No you seem fine haha
    HIm: Not really
    Me: Well I teared up a little bit and neveerrrrr cry.
    A COUPLE HOURS LATAA (he never responded)
    Him: Hey what time you going to come over?
    Me: You said 5:30..
    Him:Yeah that's cool
    Me: I'll just go to Emily's if your going to be a ***** tonight
    Him: Since I'm such a little ***** you don't have to worry about me anymore. I had fun while it lasted. I hope you have a wonderful life. Goodbye.

    I called him immediately after I got that. No response. I texted him saying:
    Me: Garrett.. Please answer I shouldn't have said that.
    Me: I made a mistake I was really pissed and I'm so sorry for taking it out on you. You didn't deserve any of the **** I've been saying all day. Just please answer your phone :(
    Me: I will psycho call you...
    Me: Seriously if you ever cared about me at all answer your phone.
    Me: Are you really going to break up with me over a text..

    2 hours later he texts me
    Him: I'm eating I'll call you later.
    Me: I am so sorry

    Another hours later...
    Him: What are you doing?
    Me: Just call me when your ready to talk.

    I never got a call. The next night I texted him this:
    Garrett we need to talk about this. If this is what you want let me know now. I'm sorry for making a ***** comment you know I didn't mean anything about it. You know I love you and I don't want us to end over something dumb like that. I'm trying to give you time and space but you know I'm impatient and I need to know where your going with this.

    Later I started drinking, so I drunked texted him...
    Me: You are worse than ****face. Congratulations.

    ****face is my bestfriend's ex whom we all despise because he is the spawn of satan. But I only said that because I KNEW it would hurt his feelings, and I was drunk.

    Prior to this we had the perfect relationship. We never ever fought or argued. We always got along great. He always told me he loved me, and vice versa.

    I haven't heard from him in a week, and I haven't tried to talk to him since. He hasn't answered any of my phone calls or texted me or anything. I'm so hurt right now, and just want to know if you think that by the way we broke up, if he'll ever try to call me again... either to apologize or explain.. I don't know, anything. Or is it really over?

  • Jun 14, 2011, 08:47 AM
    kcomissiong
    So you cursed at him when he was willing to meet with you to talk things out, then called him by the name of what you claim is an awful person, and you don't know what happened? It seems as though he was already evaluating whether he wanted to stay in this relationship, and your little temper tantrum gave him the out he needed. Sorry, but if he hasn't bothered to get in contact with you, its over. In the future, treat your partner how you would want to be treated, and only say what you mean and are willing to stand by.
  • Jun 14, 2011, 09:39 AM
    spitvenom
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by averytaylor View Post
    Him: Hey what time u gonna come over?
    Me: You said 5:30..
    Him:Yeah that's cool
    Me: I'll just go to Emily's if your gonna be a ***** tonight
    Him: Since I'm such a little ***** you don't have to worry about me anymore. I had fun while it lasted. I hope you have a wonderful life. Goodbye.

    Here is where I am confused what did he do for you to call him what ever word is blocked out? I mean everything was fine he was coming over and you called him whatever that word is. To be honest I would have done the same thing as he did.
  • Jun 14, 2011, 04:40 PM
    talaniman

    Do you drink often? I think since he is leaving anyway, he has nothing else to say, and is going to move on.

    Sorry.
  • Jun 15, 2011, 12:43 AM
    amicon

    He said goodbye-so accept it's over and start moving on.
  • Jun 30, 2011, 06:49 AM
    averytaylor
    Will my ex boyfriend ever stop giving me the silent treatment?
    He broke up with me almost a month ago. We had a great relationship and everyone said he was head over heels for me, constantly telling me he loved me, how we were meant to be, etc etc. I'm not going to lie, I was a really great girlfriend to him.

    Well we got into a fight about some issues that we were having involving work and college (over text.. ), I ended up calling him a bad name (one that I guess guys get REALLY offended by) and he dumped me.. over text.. by the way, this guy is 20. Real mature.

    I called him at least 10 times, apologized, and he never answered. I gave him a day to call me back then I texted him again the next night, apologizing and asking if this is what he really wanted. No response. Then, out of anger and frustration, I said something really, really, mean that I knew would hurt his feelings... still no response.

    I haven't tried to talk to him since then, and he hasn't either. It's been a month.

    So I'm definitely not trying to get back with him. This guy obviously found it so easy to let me go, I'm GONE.


    But it's true that the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. He had the right to leave me, but at least tell me why, because what's even more painful than getting abandonded is knowing that I'm not worth an explanation.

    Some people that know this guy really well said that this behaviour is NOT like him at all, and it's all mind boggling. I thought I knew him too, but guess not. They also said that he is stubborn as hell, so who knows.

    So... my question. Is there even a slight chance that he will contact me eventually? Just to give me some kind of closure? Like a, "Hey, just wanted to see how you were doing?" kind of thing.
  • Jun 30, 2011, 08:25 AM
    0rphan
    Reading your post, I would say he's had enough, he dumped you because of abusive language,because he doesn't answer your calls, again you say something you know will deliberately hurt him,not to mention you dishing out orders as to how long he's got to call you back.I would say you have behaved really badly toward him,acting like a spoilt child.

    I think it's fair to say... forget it,it's over.
  • Jul 15, 2011, 01:31 AM
    miss_a90
    So his friends have said that his behaviour is really out of character, and without meaning to upset you, maybe that's because you said some things to hurt him.
    I think that for the sake of your own sanity you perhaps need to accept that this is over. The fact that you were only dating for a month doesn't really mean that there weren't strong feelings there, as no one can put a time limit on that, but it does perhaps mean that you don't know everything about each other, and maybe there is a side to him that you didn't realise was there, this stubborn side who won't talk to you.

    Your best thing to do is to write him an email/facebook message (as these are stored for longer than text messages normally) explaining that while you understand it is over, you are sorry for the things you said, and that you didn't mean them. In the message, let him know that you respect him if he wants to keep his silence, but at the same time if he wants to talk to you then you'll be more than happy to speak to him. And when he's calmed down, you would apprecaite an explanation.
    But remember to keep it short and simple and to be nice and civil.
  • Jul 19, 2011, 11:23 AM
    redhed35

    Your on the receiving end of no contact.

    No contact is about healing, moving on and getting back on track.

    No contact works, and that's what your ex is doing, hoping I suppose that you will eventually get the message that its over, you don't need closure, he does not need to know how your doing, its over.

    Try and pick up the pieces and learn from this experience.
  • Jul 19, 2011, 12:18 PM
    Cat1864

    More of the story that should be merged with this thread: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ck-581656.html

    I hope she has found closure in her own mind, but if not maybe she will be back.
  • Sep 15, 2011, 03:36 AM
    Toffee36
    We all say things that we regret when we argue. This man walked away and has ignored you for a month?? That isn't normal, stay away do not let him back in your life, by dishing out the silent treatment and not giving closure to your relationship he is trying to control you. Been there done it and had the tee shirt. Move on and find a decent man who can converse like an adult .
  • Oct 3, 2011, 03:46 AM
    averytaylor
    How to handle working with an ex boyfriend..
    We just broke up last night. He dumped me because he doesn't want a relationship right now and doesn't have the time for one between work and school. He said that he still cares about me a lot and wants us to stay friends.
    Cool. The problem is that we both work as waiters at the same restaurant and it's unavoidable that we work shifts together. He made me promise not to quit and I don't want to quit because I love my job. Tonight, day after the breakup, we work together. I have no idea how to handle it and I'm scared I'm going to start crying or say something stupid. I just want to heal and get over it, but that seems impossible I'd going to keep seeing him all the time..
  • Oct 3, 2011, 04:21 AM
    BK201
    Tell him you are not ready for the friendship yet, and try to develop anger within you, against him, for dumping you. That will guard you. And there are many reasons you can get angry on this, putting the blame on time is one thing. Grrr.
  • Feb 8, 2012, 05:17 PM
    averytaylor
    Should I stay with him?
    Me and this guy have been on and off for 9 months, we're both in college and have been through hell together. A couple months into dating, he told me he was "falling in love with me" to which I responded with "thank you.." because I wasn't sure how I felt yet. I know his little ego was crushed...

    By now we have broken up, because he didn't want a girlfriend (I was his first girlfriend since high school, and what 19-20 year old guy doesn't have doubts about being in a committed relationship?) we had space, realized how much we missed each other, and got back together about two months ago (he initiated, not me), and NOW I find myself head over heals for him. I honestly do love him.

    But there's a few problems. He's been out of town for two weeks, visiting family and spending time with his grandma and cousins and such... We were perfectly fine before he left town. But while he's been gone, he barely talks to me. I get a call or a text every two or three days. If I text him, he responds almost immediately and we're fine, he's not short or distant or anything like that. I called and told him that it seems like he's distancing himself, and last time he did that he broke up with me, but he said we were perfectly fine and there was nothing to worry about. After that conversation, he didn't talk to me for two days...

    Well the other day I found out he has been texting a girl that I'm acquantinces with, and she told me about it and said she didn't know he had a girlfriend until she asked him and he said yeah he did. I asked what happened, and they have never even met,only messaged through Facebook. She let me read all their conversations and the worse thing that was said was that "he wishes she were there to snuggle with him" but other than that, their conversations were nothing more than friendly.

    So I confronted him about it, and he said that he's a natural flirt. I was already perfectly aware of that.. And honestly, it's hyprocritical of me to get mad because I text other guys and flirt with them too. He said we'll talk about it in person when he gets back in town tomorrow, which was fine by me. We've texted a little bit since then after I cooled off, and things were fine. He wasn't short or rude or anything.

    I'm just confused right now, and I'm not sure what to do at all.. I love him, and I think it's stupid to end things now after everything that has happened. I just don't know if I'm being needy and overreacting, because I've been told that I do that a lot. Others have told us that we are perfect for each other if it weren't for the fact that he was arrogant and I didn't have such and awful temper and overreact so much.

    Any advice would be extremely helpful... Because we're talking in person tomorrow, and I'm not sure what to do...
  • Feb 8, 2012, 06:39 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Don't make a big deal over his chatting with the girl. Just enjoy each other's company.
    You either trust him or you don't. If you don't, you don't need to be with him.
    If you do trust him, put your temper in check and stop over-reacting to every little thing.
  • Feb 17, 2012, 01:33 AM
    averytaylor
    Broke up, got back together, now he doesn't love me?
    We broke up in October because he didn't want a relationship. We got back together in December, him promising that wasn't going to happen again.

    Well Valentines day my boyfriend had work and didn't bother making plans with me, so I went to a movie with my guy friend who was ditched by his girlfriend an had an extra ticket. So I went, and didn't tell my boyfriend until the next day. He flipped out.

    We agreed to talk in person the next day, and when I went over to his apartment it went bad. He said he was only pissed at me that I went out with another guy, not "hurt" or "jealous" and he had a talk with his stepmom saying that I wasn't the girl he wanted to be with in the long run. So he broke up with me. He asked if I loved him, and I reluctantly said yes, and he said he doesn't love me, although he does care for me, a lot.

    I'm so hurt right now. I want things back to where they were. I want him to love me.
  • Feb 20, 2012, 06:20 PM
    bluecomet12
    First off, try to look at the sitiation in his perspective.. Your girlfriend went to a movie with her friend. Try to understand that he was angry. But, this has happened before with him hasn't it? Well, he doesn't seem like a very promising guy. Just remember that there are other (and better) people out there. You just have to start looking. Hope I helped! :)
  • Feb 20, 2012, 06:40 PM
    mmresd
    If you had gone to the movie theater with another man and not had told me about it, especially on valentine's day, I would have been pretty upset. So I do understand where he is coming from.

    However, the reason why he broke up with you is not important, the fact that he broke up with you is. So respect his decision, work on yourself, keep yourself busy, and start to move on.

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