I have been seeing a married man for a year and a half - we had planned a life together after his youngest daughter leaves to go to college. He has seizures and I have seen it since the time I have been with him so it doesn't matter. He had a bad one two weeks ago and we had talked about him having surgery (which he said he was considering it last year) - it sometimes cures and stops the seizures and I just wanted him to have a normal life. So when he asked me if the having the surgery would make it or break it I said break it, and was not serious and he has taken it too heart and said the other day he just wants to be friends, to see me occassionally and see how I'm doing. He said he doesn't want to have a romantic relationship. I am big time hurting very badly and need advice of what to do. I have considered telling his wife because I'm hurt but don't want to do that. I have loved him very much and still do and would do anything to get this back together. What should I do? Please help. Thanks!
The rest of your story has absolutely no meaning... he is married to his wife you are his mistress leave him alone to make his own decisions with his wife.
Yes, he may say that he wants to be with you, but now you have seen how easily the worm turns. Note how much time he wanted you to hang around - until after his youngest daughter goes to college. Can't you see what he's doing?
As for the rest of the story, why would his surgery make or break the relationship? He needs an excuse to end it, that's all. The guy is a cheater and you're complicit in it.
Threatening to tell his wife just shows how shallow you are and shows that you actually don't care about him at all.
Why would you want to be involved romantically with someone who is already unfaithful and willing to cheat on someone with whom he made and exchanged vows, please?
While you may be hurting because you've lost someone you love, there is an opportunity here for you to realize that you can do much better with your own life.
When you are dependent upon a relatioship with a married man to define who you are, you are investing your life in living a lie. If the realtionship is a lie, there is no future, and nothing will last. This you have found out, and I realize it is very painful to accept.
Make it a priority in your life now to never get involved again with a married man. It is too complicated, and married men are not available to invest in a new relationship, no matter how much they say they love you, or how many lies they tell.
As you are recovering from this, take it as a learning experience never to make the same mistake again.
The rest of your story has absolutely no meaning... he is married to his wife you are his mistress leave him alone to make his own decisions with his wife.
I agree. When....he leaves her, then you take him seriously. Until then, begin the grieving.
During my community college year, I met an unmarried 60 year old woman. Her story was that she had so many suitors, but she fell in love with a married man and had long term affair. She still loved him, although he have long forgotten about her. Would you like to be her?
You say YOUR heart is broken? How about this guy's WIFE? You have been having sex with another woman's husband.
His health issues are really none of your business. That's between him and his wife.
Yes, I think SOMEONE should tell his wife, so she can decide if she wants to stay with a cheater. But it should be him. Not you.
What, do you think that if YOU tell her, it will MAKE him have to be with you?
You do realize that you provide a service to him? He has told you,"when my youngest goes to college". Wow, you bought THAT? Talk about stringing someone along-----------------
By you pushing him for the surgery, you made him go shopping for another mistress.
You should take this opportunity to soul search as to why you have allowed yourself to latch onto someone elses husband. Do you have low self esteem?
You have shown no remorse whatsoever in your post. It is "me,me,me".
The only person I feel sorry for is the person who washes his clothes, who feeds him, who is there for him, only to see him go and lay with another woman.
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