After reading several post on dating and I decided to post a guide to dating. My ideas and opinions are based on life experiences and books that I have read on the subject.

The first step in taking the leap in to the dating pool is “Know who you are.”

I read once that there are three images of your self. One image is person “you really are”. The second image, what “you think you are” and last one was what “other people saw you as.”

Anyway, it’s my belief that the “real you” really is a combination of last two.

Take your time, be honest about it and analyze and figure it out. Time after time on these dating sites you find profiles that are misleading. Not because people get on there to intentional lie (I know some do) because the user describes what they would like themselves to be but not who they really are. The same holds true when speaking to someone about themselves.

The true you does change, so this process will repeat itself thorough your life time. Re-defining yourself.

Now, that’s your mind is right let’s work on the physically.

Your physically image is important but remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’m not going to tell you to hit the gym, get a make over or whatever. You want to improve your image do this because this is something that you want to do for yourself and not get some man or woman. Work what you got, and keep it the best condition. If you meet two people that where identical in body type and looks. The only different is one doesn’t keep there teeth clean which one are you going to choose?

So you keep yourself nice & clean, you know who you are. This is what you have to offer!

The hard part is realistically describing your Mr. /Ms Right. What are qualities you want in this person? Write them down, this list will be revisited as it may change because you may change. List them in a highest priority to the lowest. Don’t get relationship with someone that doesn’t have the qualities are on the top of the list, and think hey I can change this person. This plan will mostly backfire and you will end up real hurt and disappointed.

Also here is another thing, I’m alluding to question on AMHD “would you date someone that your were not physically attracted to but that person had a nice personality?” The answer depends on how high on the list physical attraction is for you. Me personally I would say no why date someone settle when you can find someone that you are attracted to and has a great personality. This person is out there but harder to find.

This is one of the factors why people are cheating on each other. They get into relationship with a person because it is emotionally convenient and then someone comes along that they are attracted to and the cheating begins. I love her/him but the romantic is gone, or I love him/her but we are more like friends now.

I’m going leave room from users to post comments and add to this list.

To be continued….

COOKIE MONSTER

i think this should be permanantly fixed on the top of the dating section

Marriedguy

Love is a battlefield, choose your location and weapon wisely.

Your location is based on qualities list you wrote early. I didn’t want to be with someone that drank on a regularly basis so I avoided bars and clubs. Any where else is fair game. Store, Mall, street, online, weddings, train, school you never know where meet the person of your dreams. When you paths cross you have to be ready to take the shot.

If you are shy you are probably going to opt for the sniper rifle which means you can keep a safe distance and focus on one target and time. This has limited dating possibilities you are focus on one person and investing all your time for the shot.

Quick story: Guy I know. Pretty woman comes to the job regularly, he attracted to her, they small talk and it leads to no where. Every time she stops by he would say I talk to her and blah, blah. He really liked her. I tell him to tell her he is interested in her, he doesn’t and she relocation and moves. Maybe they would have been a great couple but we’ll never know and he will never know either. Take the shot if she is a decent person she put you down easy if you are genuine and respectful.

Don’t let this happen to you. I stayed away from cheesy lines because they rarely work. Just been honest and to the point. I would say, "My name is marriedguy I think you are very pretty and I couldn’t pass up the chance to speak to you." The conversation would continue and numbers exchanged, or aww that’s sweet but I have a boyfriend. Guys, if she says that she has a boyfriend don’t follow up with do you love him, is he treating you right or any variation of this line of question. Move on.

Shotgun, you are up close and personal. Targets are closer easy to hit. More targets are available. The more people you ask out the quicker you can weed out the people that are not good for you. This is the method most of these womanizers use. It’s not they can get every woman they want its just they speak to a lot of women they want. The more women they speak to the better the chances. It works both ways since you are up close you will be shot down, a lot! I can’t count the number of time rejected. Look at it is a good thing you are weeding out the bad ones.

Ladies we are in 2008 its ok to ask a guy for his number. You see him looking at you he probably interested but shy. How many women are out there interested in Robert, but date Jack because he asked her out? Back to that story above the pretty woman that came to the job was giving, the guy I know all the signs. But he was afraid to act on them. She could have said “Do you think I’m pretty?” he would of said “Yes” then she says “Well ask me out.” He would of asked and she would reply “No..but I might say yes if you ask me tomorrow.”

Your interested in me, I interested in you what do we do?

To be continued…

jolienoire

WOW Awesome post I agree with COOKIE MONSTER


Wow that is sooo true... GREAT POINTS