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So, I recently (~2months ago) got out of a long term relationship (2 years). It hit me very hard and I came here asking for help. I received some great advice and I am thankful to all those who helped.
Recently I have been socializing with friends, and meeting new people. I met this girl a few days back and we went on a date yesterday. We went to a bar and had a drink. We talked for almost 2 hours. I noticed that she was into me because she kept on sitting closer, was interested in what I had to say, and played with her hair. Afterwards we went to a club and danced. She was very impressed with my dancing ability and we just had fun all night dancing. She still was interested in me because she felt very comfortable with me while dancing. She was touching my chest and enjoyed dancing close together. From there I took her home. At her place she took me inside to have me meet her roommates. They were all asleep. She showed me her place and came up to me to hug me. She placed her hands on my chest and was feeling up my arms and chest. As she hugged me she asked me when she was going to see me again. I told her hopefully real soon and that she could call me anytime. From there we proceeded back to the door. On the way there we stopped and she hugged me. She also went to give me a kiss on the cheek but I pulled her in and we started kissing. She was very much into it and we continued for a bit. She stopped and was breathing heavy and smiled. We continued to the door and we stopped again. We kissed for a bit more and we parted our ways.
Today I asked her if she wanted to go to a concert with me since I was invited by a friend. She told me she had to work until 10pm since she does babysitting as a side job on top of collegel, work, etc... I ended up not going because I chose to stay in and do homework because I have many assignments due real soon. I then texted her told her my my plans changed. I asked her if we could hang out after she got off work tonight. She texted me back and said that she needs to go to bed early tonight but would love to hang out real soon.
So here is my question.
Did she blow me off? Is she not interested in me? Was I too pushy or clingy by asking her 2 times?
What should I do? Should I wait for her to call back?
I asked a few of my girl friends and they told me that it is acceptable to ask what I asked her.
I don't feel bad or anything I just need to know what she is thinking.
Any help is appreciated.
On a side note though. To all the people that know me:
I am not looking for another relationship, I know I need to heal and take more time to myself before dating, and I know I need to stay true to myself and any woman I go on a date with.
I think it is wonderful that you are dating again, and it's good to hear you had a great time.
But, (isn't there always a 'but'?) enough time has not yet passed to get seriously involved with a new person.
That your date was honest enough to say that she's busy, or tired, or working, is enough of a hint in my opinion, that she's not ready to jump into anything hot and heavy.
Maybe the passionate kissing has her thinking that you expect the same the next time, or she is unsure of herself and wishes to go slow. Obviously you made a good impression on her, and her on you.
If you push now, and she is at all apprehensive, she will keep declining. I would wait, maybe a week or so, then send a casual email, and ask her out to something specific again.
But, allow some distance between the two of you. Nurture this one slowly, and try not to be in a position where you still have baggage from the recent split with your ex girlfriend.
sounds like rebound in the making. do not. i repeat do not rush grieving. you will only have more pain down the line. 2 months after a 2 yr longterm relationship is waaaaay too soon to be dating again unless its absolutely casual. i stress really casual. u are overthinking this which says u are looking for something more than casual. rememeber, she cannot be a replacement for ur last relationship. you need to be whole by yourself. when you are confidnet in who you are and what you want it will be practically impossible to be clingy becaus eyou will respect yourself. independent people have the #1 strength: Patience.
You've already showed interest in her by contacting her twice. So the ball is on her side of the court. Give her a few days to try to respond. If she doesn't then you can try again.
Take things slow, you're still on the rebound. There's no reason to rush a new relationship.
I would also suggest that you only meet in neutral places (i.e. restaurant, coffee shop, etc.). Going to each other's places could result in a lot of making out and you shouldn't be rushing that part right now as you are on the rebound. Focus on getting to know her better first.
Yes. I agree that I should not be going over to her place. I do not want to rush anything yet because I still enjoy having the freedom to meet many different people. I also agree on the fact that 2 months is still not enough. I am doing a hell of a lot better but there are still some emotions that I need to work through.
I will leave the ball in her court and see what happens from there.
Well, today she texted me asking to hangout on Tuesday. She asked if we could watch a movie or go for a walk. I am happy but worried at the same time.
I have this tendency to fall head over heals for girls. Once I establish that I like a girl, I dive right into it. I just got over (in process) a 2 year relationship and do not want to screw up.
I like this girl a lot and would like to get to know her more. But I am afraid that I will dive in to fast. How do I let her know that I would like to take it slow?
BUT EVEN MORE IMPORTANT, how do I tell MYSELF to slow down and not dive in?
It is so weird how my heart can overpower my brain in these situations.
When I was on a date with her, I did not compare her to my ex. I did not think about my ex at all while on the date. I definitely think I have come far since the break up but there is something inside me that is telling me that I am not completely over her. I still love her even though she did horrible things to me. But I also do not want her to come back. Maybe I am just lying to myself. Who knows.
Can I continue seeing this new girl with these feelings? I mean I do not want to hurt her so I know for sure that I will not do anything to make her feel that way.
OR...
Should I stop all contact and just work on myself some more?
I really do like this girl so I don't know if I could do the second option.
Just go on the date. No need to explain to her why you wish to take it slow. At this point you two are just getting to know eachother. Keep things simple for now. Dont skip ahead, enjoy the journey.
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