So, I recently (~2months ago) got out of a long term relationship (2 years). It hit me very hard and I came here asking for help. I received some great advice and I am thankful to all those who helped.
Recently I have been socializing with friends, and meeting new people. I met this girl a few days back and we went on a date yesterday. We went to a bar and had a drink. We talked for almost 2 hours. I noticed that she was into me because she kept on sitting closer, was interested in what I had to say, and played with her hair. Afterwards we went to a club and danced. She was very impressed with my dancing ability and we just had fun all night dancing. She still was interested in me because she felt very comfortable with me while dancing. She was touching my chest and enjoyed dancing close together. From there I took her home. At her place she took me inside to have me meet her roommates. They were all asleep. She showed me her place and came up to me to hug me. She placed her hands on my chest and was feeling up my arms and chest. As she hugged me she asked me when she was going to see me again. I told her hopefully real soon and that she could call me anytime. From there we proceeded back to the door. On the way there we stopped and she hugged me. She also went to give me a kiss on the cheek but I pulled her in and we started kissing. She was very much into it and we continued for a bit. She stopped and was breathing heavy and smiled. We continued to the door and we stopped again. We kissed for a bit more and we parted our ways.
Today I asked her if she wanted to go to a concert with me since I was invited by a friend. She told me she had to work until 10pm since she does babysitting as a side job on top of collegel, work, etc... I ended up not going because I chose to stay in and do homework because I have many assignments due real soon. I then texted her told her my my plans changed. I asked her if we could hang out after she got off work tonight. She texted me back and said that she needs to go to bed early tonight but would love to hang out real soon.
So here is my question.
Did she blow me off? Is she not interested in me? Was I too pushy or clingy by asking her 2 times?
What should I do? Should I wait for her to call back?
I asked a few of my girl friends and they told me that it is acceptable to ask what I asked her.
I don't feel bad or anything I just need to know what she is thinking.
Any help is appreciated.
On a side note though. To all the people that know me:
I am not looking for another relationship, I know I need to heal and take more time to myself before dating, and I know I need to stay true to myself and any woman I go on a date with.
You are right Paxe. My actions do speak louder then my words.
I sat down with her and talked with her about this relationship. I asked her if we could take things really slow and see what happens from there. I do not want to leave her completely because I do have feelings from her. My mind is not clouded by the hook up or my ex. These feelings are genuine. We have agreed to take things very slow and just see what happens as we get to know each other more. We are hanging out tomorrow and will be cooking dinner together. The other night we watched a movie with her roommates.
I don't know if this is the right thing to do but this is the decision I made. I still have all the freedom to hang out with others and enjoy being single.
Anyone have any advice as to how to move forward in this new relationship without having it turn into a rebound. In what state do I have to be in order to accept a new relationship?
Currently, I have accepted that I am not ever getting back together with my ex. I have accepted that being single is not a bad thing. I know that a relationship is only a bonus to my life and not the main focus. I am even ok with my ex having a new boyfriend even though I think its a rebound. But either way I do not care. Yes I was hurt when I first heard it but all it took was a little bag punching to get the anger out.
Since you don't want to lose this relationship and it is your decision, take it slow, really really slow. Basically don't give yourself into it or even think about it too much.
That is exactly what I have been telling myself. I tell myself that if we do not end up in a relationship that it will not be the end of the world. I am letting things just happen. I am trying to put most of my focus on my education, family, and martial arts training.
I can relate to that. I had my share since my break up of girls being attracting to me, but I have been concentrating on all those stuff and until now life has been great. You do have the occasional "what if I don't find someone" popping in your head and peer pressure, but you dismiss it and you continue your day. Being single for some time is actually really good.
Yes, being single is not a bad thing. I think right now I am in this mode where I do want to be in relationships. All through high school I was not interested in being in a relationship. I focused mainly on my education and friends. I enjoyed that time to myself. But once I came to college that changed. I really enjoyed being in a relationship. I really do enjoy having an intimate connection with another person. Not having this doesn't make my life worse but it does ad another dimension to my life. Also, since I did not date much in high school this is still a new concept to me and it is one I would like to explore further. I do need to slow down a bit and recover still before starting another relationship but I really like this girl for several reasons.
What I am about to say is very tough for me to explain and I hope it does not get taken the wrong way.
In my past relationship it was all about equality. Great!! I am all for equality and would never want to have the upper hand, control, etc.... over anyone. But my ex never made me feel like a man because to her everything was equal. She did comment on my strength and masculinity once in a while mostly made me feel inadequate because she felt like she could do everything that I could do. Once again nothing wrong with that but it is the way she carried it out. It feels good for a guy to be needed. Whether it be opening a jar or lifting something heavy. With my ex she always told me she could do it and I should even ask her if she needed help with it. She used to get angry when once in a while I asked if she needed help. I would understand if I asked constantly but that was not the case.
With this new girl she really makes me feel good and makes me feel like a man. Don't get me wrong though. I am not seeking to be macho masculine man. I consider myself metrosexual and fit the double standard well. But sometimes it just feels good to do man things. After all I was born one. But this new girls definitely understands. Whether it be her feeling up my muscles and telling me that I am strong or asking me what is wrong with her car. My ex would have never asked even though she knows that I know how to fix anything on a car. She would figure it out herself and maybe ask later only because she knows that she can't figure it out. Once again there is nothing wrong with that but it is the way she carried it out and made me feel when I offered help.
I don't even know if any of this makes sense but I hope someone understands.
hahaha you summed up my whole speech in one sentence but that is exactly what I was trying to get at.
Its weird, I am rereading my past posts and I am basically arguing myself and contradicting myself.
At points I say I want to be single and then a few posts later I say I want another relationship.
I say one thing, do another, and change my mind constantly. I am not ready for a relationship yet no matter what I keep saying.
But I do want to see where this current situation is leading too. I think as long as I stay honest with myself and this new girl things will go well. Also, I need to take things slow too. Very slow at that.
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