So, I recently (~2months ago) got out of a long term relationship (2 years). It hit me very hard and I came here asking for help. I received some great advice and I am thankful to all those who helped.

Recently I have been socializing with friends, and meeting new people. I met this girl a few days back and we went on a date yesterday. We went to a bar and had a drink. We talked for almost 2 hours. I noticed that she was into me because she kept on sitting closer, was interested in what I had to say, and played with her hair. Afterwards we went to a club and danced. She was very impressed with my dancing ability and we just had fun all night dancing. She still was interested in me because she felt very comfortable with me while dancing. She was touching my chest and enjoyed dancing close together. From there I took her home. At her place she took me inside to have me meet her roommates. They were all asleep. She showed me her place and came up to me to hug me. She placed her hands on my chest and was feeling up my arms and chest. As she hugged me she asked me when she was going to see me again. I told her hopefully real soon and that she could call me anytime. From there we proceeded back to the door. On the way there we stopped and she hugged me. She also went to give me a kiss on the cheek but I pulled her in and we started kissing. She was very much into it and we continued for a bit. She stopped and was breathing heavy and smiled. We continued to the door and we stopped again. We kissed for a bit more and we parted our ways.


Today I asked her if she wanted to go to a concert with me since I was invited by a friend. She told me she had to work until 10pm since she does babysitting as a side job on top of collegel, work, etc... I ended up not going because I chose to stay in and do homework because I have many assignments due real soon. I then texted her told her my my plans changed. I asked her if we could hang out after she got off work tonight. She texted me back and said that she needs to go to bed early tonight but would love to hang out real soon.


So here is my question.

Did she blow me off? Is she not interested in me? Was I too pushy or clingy by asking her 2 times?

What should I do? Should I wait for her to call back?

I asked a few of my girl friends and they told me that it is acceptable to ask what I asked her.

I don't feel bad or anything I just need to know what she is thinking.

Any help is appreciated.




On a side note though. To all the people that know me:

I am not looking for another relationship, I know I need to heal and take more time to myself before dating, and I know I need to stay true to myself and any woman I go on a date with.

Thanks in advanced for all the help.

A4Effort

Both posts make a lot of sense. I highly agree with the fact that I should continue meeting new people and just treat her like I would any other friend.

I think what screwed me up is the fact that we kissed and made out. After that my head started thinking.

A4Effort

I talked to some close friends of mine today who know the state I am in and also know about the break up. They basically said what you guys told me for the most part. They told me to treat it as a friendship and just enjoy one day at a time. They told me that I am over my ex and that it will not turn into a rebound relationship as long as I take it slow.

A4Effort

Well, second date went very well. I went in there telling myself to take it one date at a time and not look into the future. I said to myself to treat every date like its the last one. We went for a walk and hung out around campus. We talked A LOT and kept on getting to know each other better. We ended up kissing a few times throughout the date and everything was great.

I am keeping it at this. I am not "working" on a relationship. I am just enjoying the time that I am given with her.

paxe

*sigh*, what's the point really, you don't listen. Don't you find it strange how fast you "healed" miracously after you find that girl. It's called rebound even if you say it's something else.

I also had my own possibilities of making out with girls right after my break up. One really hot girl was all over me and she was really pissed I didn't kissed her (so hot...). Though I knew it was "only" a kiss, I wouldn't do it, it wouldn't be fair to her and to me, and I wouldn't heal properly. I actually wanted to live the actually pain and get better by MYSELF, so that I become a better person. I see the result now and I'm a have much better integrity than before.

You can either take your way or listen to us. The difference is that we have the experience you don't.

A4Effort

I think everyone needs to chill a little bit. I have felt this way before I met her. I am not looking for anything right now. I am just enjoying the journey. I am not trying to control anything that is happening. I don't feel weak anymore and I have all my emotions under control.

I like this girl for who she is. I am not bringing any baggage with me. I am happy if we don't go beyond friendship.

But you all can continue sighing. I appreciate everyones opinion and I listen to it as much as I can but this time I think I'm right. I'll take my chances.

talaniman

You know your healed, and ready for more, when your willing to take a risk.

Mind you though quick actions have their own consequences, but the point is when your having fun, have fun. No relationship talk for 6 months. Just date, and have other people places and things, to balance yourself so you don't get fixated on the girl, for now. Don't get carried away, by her, or yourself.

Its when things are going really great, is the time to keep it real.

Take KC's warning to heart, and have fun with no expectations for more.

A4Effort

I agree with you tal. I do not want to get out of control and have it turn into my last relationship where I invested ALL my time into her. I do want to have a balance where I can be happy with friends, dating, and everything else.

For example. I really want to hang out with her but I am choosing to hang out with friends tomorrow night and go out dancing. This weekend I am also choosing to hang out with my friends and go to a halloween party. She did ask me to hang out again and we will most likely hang out this Saturday but I am not putting her first. It sounds selfish but I am putting myself first. I need to enjoy MY life, not ours or hers or theirs.

talaniman

There you go, its all about keeping your options and opportunities open, and more importantly, having the eyes to recognize them, and having the heart to pursue them when you see them.

A4Effort

Well last night was great for the most part. I went out dancing with friends and this new girl I've been seeing came along with a small group of her friends. We danced and had a blast. While dancing we really connect and there was definitely an attraction between us there. From there we decided to go to her place with her friends/roomates.

Her and I ended up talking in the living room until 3:30am. Here is the caution flag part. She told me how she had an ex that she broke up a few months back. She told him that she would give him another chance if he cleaned up (did drugs, etc...). It turns out that he actually got his life together in the last few months. But now she says that she likes me very much and doesn't know what to do.

I didn't even know what to say so I just told her to make the decision that is best for her.

Having heard this definitely doesn't make me want to get into anything serious with her because I feel like she is not over her ex. So I think I will just keep it at casual dating/friendship.

What do you all think of this situation?

paxe

Is that the same girl you went out with and make out?