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So this is about a situation that happened to me circa 5 months ago. I posted about it already, but I have new thoughts.
I've finally decided that with this guy I was dating, no matter how much I tried to act chill and give him the impression I didn't care too much what was going on, he /still/ acted like a jerk, and pulled a jerk move. It kind of bothers mee that it took me 5 months to make that decision, but umm... oh well. It's a damn shame too, b/c he has some awesome friends I'd like to get to know better.
In the meantime, he asked me to be "just friends" and to keep in contact when I moved away, and I've been going along w/ it. I think part of this was my denying that he had truly acted like a jerk, and part of this was me thinking about how he'd always say he was attracted more to talent than to looks, and how there was a lot he didn't know about me and my abilities, so maybe if I could impress him even more about my intelligence and abilities he'd be more interested in me... Of course, I now think about how much the woman he's dating now (who replaced me, basically) looks a lot more like his exes than I do, and I'm thinking "mm-hmm. sure it's all about talent..." And now I'm just thinking that everything about the "I'm really glad I know you line" he fed me about wanting to keep in touch doesn't really add up, and I'm increasingly suspicious it's more out of his own needs to view himself a certain way (as a "nice guy" or as a desireable person or something) and will never benefit me in the long run...
So now that I'm not feeling so warm to him, I still always feel a need for closure. Should I try to talk to him about "what is up" or just phase him out of my life, or what?
Also, another thing:
A) I have his new gf's e-mail
B) I have the URL to his online blog with lots of "private" thoughts and possibly, potentially things that would make her think twice about him (only possibly though...)
So: Would /you/ do something if you were in my shoes, such as sending her an anonymous e-mail? (If not, you can at least see why I'd have the urge, right?) Any ideas for how I could cover it up so he'd never guess it was me (besides just the anonymous part)?
You are thinking of doing this because you still have feelings for him and you are still hurt. Don't do anything out of anger, you will regret it later. He's moved on, now it's time for you to do the same. Forget him, NC, and find someone else.
Think about how this will benefit you. I know it might make you feel better out of spite and anger, but really, in a logical sense, will this benefit you in any way shape or form?
"Think about how this will benefit you. I know it might make you feel better out of spite and anger, but really, in a logical sense, will this benefit you in any way shape or form?"
Mmm... maybe it wouldn't benefit me directly, except from a vindictive kind of feeling. But what about chicks before s? I think she'd have a right to know... Actually, what I wish I could tell her even more than what is on the blog, is what he did to me. I think that might give her more pause, assuming she's your average intelligent 30 yr-old woman...
I'm becoming so jaded by the way that I have been w/ guys who have lots of smart, great female friends, and these guys don't treat me that great. It makes me doubt my own male friends, and the world in general...
.....ignore him , forget about him, dont even bother talking to the gurl what they do is non of ur buessness and did i mention drop it ? hes soooo not even worth your time...
for the record if i dated a guy who cheated on me i wound want his one night stand to tell me what he did. id rather have ignorant bliss or it straight from the horses mouth. let the gurl deal with it her self if it doesnt work out she'll learn and be smarter next time ur helping her by leaving her alone. also talking to her may cause her to talk to the guy getting u into
So: Would /you/ do something if you were in my shoes, such as sending her an anonymous e-mail?
NO!
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(If not, you can at least see why I'd have the urge, right?)
I can understand anger.
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Any ideas for how I could cover it up so he'd never guess it was me (besides just the anonymous part)?
NO!
Basically the thing to do is, let it go, and move on. That way you wont have to pay the consequences of your actions. Deal with the anger, and not the revenge.
OP listen to Tal, revenge negates revenge, then you are caught in a vicious circle. You have a right to your anger, but you should not seek revenge, in the long run you will only hurt yourself. Let it go and live your life, leave this in the past.
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