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i am girl of 23.i am dating my boyfrnd for last 4 yrs.he is very caring and possesive about me.But the problem i am facing are:
1)my boyfriend expresses his love by kissing me ,hugging me or saying jokes sometimes.but i feel too shy to kiss him. even things become such that he only asks me to kiss him at least once.... i try but i feel too nervous.
2)and other prob is my boyfrnd always tries to explore my private areas which i feel he should not at this time as it really makes me feel very aroused. As i ask him to stop he stops at that instant but after sometime he again comes near me and tries the same and if i seriously tell him not to repeat he says its hard for him to control.
what to do?
I lost a bf because I was same way around your age. I told him I liked him but since I was too shy to kiss him he took it as I wasn't interested.
He likes you so what is there to be shy about kissing him for? Now if you aren't really into him then maybe your shyness is a good thing.
Sounds like he is really understanding if he isn't pressuring you and pushing himself on you.
You need to put your shyness aside and look at kissing him from another perspective.
If you don't feel it in you to want to kiss him regardless of your shyness maybe the connection just isn't there for you with him to begin with.
thanks for the advice.. i about it a little but i feel i really love my boyfriend.i dont know how but i'll try my best to overcome this shyness. advice on the 2nd problem how can i say him no without annoying him.
Your boyfriend has no right to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do. If he's annoyed at your level of discomfort, you need a new boyfriend.
Why don't you want him kissing you?
The answer to that may explain a lot.
It sounds like maybe what you need to do is discuss this with him and tell him that if he promises to quit the things you really feel uncomfortable with then you will try to start kissing him more. I don't know if you are just feeling like he might just go too far and that is holding you back or what. So you need to first discuss boundries with him and see if that helps. If you aren't even willing to kiss him and feel comfortable with him kissing you I really don't see how he is going to stick with the relationship. You have to give a little but he has to know your limits.
Shy or not, I get the impression your not that comfortable with being physical at this time, and you better just straight out tell him to keep his hands to himself. If he cannot respect your wishes, and make you more relaxed, and comfortable around him, then love or not, he is the wrong guy for you.
Never be afraid to say NO, and stand by your word.
What bothers me though, is you have been together 4 years, and still are shy around him?? Thats incredible to me.
Is this a case of being in love with the idea of having someone, rather than loving the person.
Are you from a country other than America, and do you live at home?? Work?? School???
currently i m in masters degree.I am from a very conservative indian family and from childhood we r taught sumthing like relationship is a very bad thing for a girl,it ruins her life etc etc. i love my bf but many a times i feel whether i am doing something wrong or not.We are together till now bcoz somehow we feel very happy with each other,whether by sharing probs or happiness or just hanging around.thats it.
You don't share intimacy, maybe because your friends, and not feeling romantic toward him. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you both know where you stand with each other. I do think you need to discuss that, so everyone knows how the other feels and you can define your boundaries with each other.
Its been 4 years, where is this relationship going in the future?? Where do you want it to go???
I too find it shocking that after 4 years your still shy and nervous around him, perhaps your more nervous with the physical intimacy than the guy.
I think you should only do what you feel comfortable with, although, as a man, I can see him wanting some type of affection after 4 years of devotion. That being said, I'm sure he knew the deal way back when.
truly speaking i would really want this realtionship to stand for a lifetime.i fully agree with u ppl that after such devotion yes he wants that physical affection from me but the prob lies with me. i tried hard but still i m very uncomfortable with any kind of physical affection that he tries to give or even wants back. advice how to overcome the barrier that lies in my mind?i dont want to loose him.
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