can a lost love return

gaelicsaint · #1 Jul 15, 2008, 08:02 PM

i have checked out all the other Q and A's an all though some are close none are what im looking for so here it goes. i have been dateing the same girl for a while and about a week before our anniversary she dropped this bomb that she thinks that we should break up. with in a week she was with someone else. now this is what has been ging on before the fact i started school, i have been haveing some really bad problem with work and school. i slipped into a bad depression, i started to treat every one like . my family, my friends, and her. i just came to a point that i hated everything that was going on in my life and even though she was the one small ray of light in my life i started to let all the other things snuff that light out.i stoped doing all the things that i loved doing for her, like rubbing her feet when she got outta work, rubbing her back texting her these sweet little comments and flirts throughout the day, just things of that sort.

i started to get a feeling that something was wrong but she wouldnt talk about it. i didnt really know what to do so i just gave her space. i figured that she would let me know when she was ready. but instead she broke it off. instead of talking and working out our problems she just ran from them, and into another guys arms. i loved this girl with all my heart and im just lost with out her. i was planning on asking her to marry me for our anniversary. she even told me that the thought crossed her mind once or twice. even now i still love her more than anything. i can see where shes comeing from on so many areas.i have been there myself before. shes four years younger than i am and doesnt really have to much expiereance with the whole relationship area. i was the longest relation ship that she has ever had. i think that this other guy is just more of a rebound than anything but i dint know we still text a lot and we even flirt a little bit too. but i just dont know what to do she has been my world and my best friend for the so long that i cant just cut her outta my life she just means way to much to me to do that. i guess the biggest question that i have is if anyone has had a similar situation. what you did or what happened in the end.

nelsta78 · Jul 16, 2008, 12:31 AM

I wouldnt come on here looking for tales of reconciliation.
I mean there are not many people in a happy relationship that need questions answering.
All i can say is live your life for you.
Go to a gym, hang out with friends, Treat yourself to some new clothes.
Eventually you'll learn that this girl isnt worth the heartache and YOU WILL meat somebody that loves you and treats you how you want and deserve to be treated.

You was happy before her and you will in time be happy after her.
If she realises she made a mistake and comes back to you are you really sure you want to be with a girl that thought so little of you as to jump into another relationship? do you not think you are worth more than that?

N0help4u · Jul 16, 2008, 03:47 AM

Just because you were in love with her doesn't mean she felt anything near the same for you.
She may have felt you and her just were not compatible and didn't know how to tell you.
Move on you can't make somebody love you

JBeaucaire · Jul 16, 2008, 08:17 AM

If you're "lost" without her, then you're lost. Taking your normal feelings and ramping them up to despair level doesn't help you in the least.

She didn't break up with you all of a sudden, and didn't suddenly rush into another guy's arms. She was already attracted to the other guy and had been thinking about whether she wanted to ignore her attraction to others to stay with you OR NOT. She chose "not".

This is all perfectly normal. Relationships either grow past the fidelity boundary or they don't.

Yes, she loved you, you loved her, but it's not enough to love. You also BOTH have to be able to sacrifice ALL OTHERS to maintain that love as exclusive. That's a VERY TALL order to fill. When the time came to cross that line with you, she couldn't do it.

Hard? Yes. But I'm so glad she was honest through it and didn't just keep you AND another guy. This forum is full of people dating cheaters, so at least your girl was kind enough not to do THAT to you.

You're going to be fine. It's going to hurt, and eventually it won't.

hjpan · Jul 18, 2008, 11:51 AM

She's garbage. If she treats you like trash, treat her back the same way.

It's the "if you treat me like this, I will treat you the same way" attitude.

Don't fall for a stupid girl..... she thought about it and ran off?
Sounds like a wuss... running away from problems..

Just be happy that the more she runs from her problems, the more problems will arise.

Sammie66 · Jul 25, 2008, 09:25 AM

Read my post. similar situation.
http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...hlight=rebound

I've learnt so much over the past couple of months. Much about me and much about her.



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