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    Can I date this girl?

    Asked Sep 25, 2013, 04:42 PM 16 Answers
    I am 13 (turning 14) and I love this girl that's 18 more than life itself. I feel that I always need to be with her. Any advice?

    Last edited by talaniman; Sep 25, 2013 at 05:40 PM.
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    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 61,863, Reputation: 5752
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    #2

    Sep 25, 2013, 04:46 PM


    And how does she feel about you?

    What you are feeling is a crush, not love. This is not going to happen because its illegal for her to be with you. Focus on people your own age.
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    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 36,728, Reputation: 5276
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    #3

    Sep 25, 2013, 04:47 PM


    She's too old for you. At 13 you are still in middle school. At 18 she has most likely graduated and is off to college. She is an adult, you are a child.

    It's okay to have a crush, that's how we learn. But anything more than that would be illegal and cause her trouble if she even thought any more of you than just a little kid brother.
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    max12345's Avatar
    max12345 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Sep 25, 2013, 04:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    And how does she feel about you?

    What you are feeling is a crush, not love. This is not going to happen because its illegal for her to be with you. Focus on people your own age.
    Ive known her for a while and she loves me too. I had a crush on her but I have taken things a bit further. We both want it to happen and we have been trying to make it work. I have tried focusing on girls my own age and there are a lot of girls I have feelings for and I mean almost every girl in my school wants to go out with me but she's the one I'm telling you. I love her more than anything. Trust me its not a crush its TRUE LOVE.

    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    She's too old for you. At 13 you are still in middle school. At 18 she has most likely graduated and is off to college. She is an adult, you are a child.

    It's okay to have a crush, that's how we learn. But anything more than that would be illegal and cause her trouble if she even thought any more of you than just a little kid brother.
    One she is still in High school. 2 she loves me even more than I love her (so she says) 3 If you met me you would understand why she loves me. Its love I'm telling you.
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    J_9's Avatar
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    #5

    Sep 25, 2013, 04:58 PM


    If an 18 year old were romantically in love with a 13 year old there is something wrong with her. She is either mentally and emotionally immature, or she is a pedophile.
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    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 25,707, Reputation: 5616
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    #6

    Sep 25, 2013, 05:02 PM
    What do your parents have to say about this true love with an adult? Have you asked them what they think of you two dating?
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    max12345's Avatar
    max12345 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Sep 25, 2013, 05:08 PM
    I feel this advice isn't helping I thought people were going to be on my side because they knew how I felt but clearly none of you have been in love. By the way there is nothing wrong with her for loving me we are both ina serious relationship and OF COURSE WE Aren't DOING ANYTHING "SERIOUS"
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    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 25,707, Reputation: 5616
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    #8

    Sep 25, 2013, 05:12 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by max12345 View Post
    I feel this advice isnt helping i thought people were going to be on my side because they knew how I felt but clearly none of you have been in love. By the way there is nothing wrong with her for loving me we are both ina serious relationship and OF COURSE WE ARENT DOING ANYTHING "SERIOUS"
    You're 13. I was in "love" at 13 too, and 14, and 15, and 16, many times. I swore it was real. No one could tell me it wasn't. The thing is, at 13 you have no concept of what real love is. You think it's love, and all the feelings you have feel like real love, but it's not. In 10 years or so you'll realize that.

    The fact is, even if you were in love, and she was too, there are laws. Laws don't care if your love is real or not. You're a child, she's an adult. There are laws to protect children from adults that are attracted to them, and are in a position to control them.

    Bottom line, there are no laws against dating, but, at your age you will need your parents consent. If your parents say no, and you decide to date her anyway, she could go to jail.

    So how much do you love her? Do you love her enough to keep her out of jail?

    BTW, your reaction is exactly what I expected from a child.
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    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 36,728, Reputation: 5276
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    #9

    Sep 25, 2013, 05:13 PM
    None of us have been in love but we are married and have children your age. So, yes, we have been in love. We've loved and we've lost.

    If you want to hear what you want to hear, ask your friends. If you want to hear the truth, ask adults. We are adults. We are not going to advocate pedophilia.
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    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 61,863, Reputation: 5752
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    #10

    Sep 25, 2013, 05:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by max12345 View Post
    I feel this advice isnt helping i thought people were going to be on my side because they knew how I felt but clearly none of you have been in love. By the way there is nothing wrong with her for loving me we are both ina serious relationship and OF COURSE WE ARENT DOING ANYTHING "SERIOUS"
    You really expect us to believe that an 18 yr old girl would have any interest in a 13 yr old boy? You really think adults who have experienced real love would believe this crap.

    You can forget that notion. You didn't answer what your parents think about this. But I can't imagine any responsible parent allowing it. Which means it is illegal for her to have anything to do with you without parental consent;

    But you are living in a dream world if you think we are going to believe your story.
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