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i have been together with my boy friend for 4 years now but he never gave me any gift, the only thing he gave me which i will not even call a gift, are some expired body lotion, a shower gel and a very dirty teddy beer, on my birthday for that matter! i think he is trying to say my happiness is not that important to him and he also does not respect and care for me. i think may be he does not wanna spend his money on me. cos i have been the one spoiling him him with gift all the times.
i have been together with my boy friend for 4 years now but he never gave me any gift, the only thing he gave me which i will not even call a gift, are some expired body lotion, a shower gel and a very dirty teddy beer, on my birthday for that matter! i think he is trying to say my happiness is not that important to him and he also does not respect and care for me. i think may be he does not wanna spend his money on me. cos i have been the one spoiling him him with gift all the times.
Does he have any money? Does he spend it on himself?
If he does, here's what you do: throw away the expired lotion, wash the teddy bear with the shower gel, and pin a note on it telling your "boyfriend" that you don't want to spend anymore time with someone so thoughtless, stingy, and just plain cheap.
A cheap gift, or a dirty gift, is worse than no gift at all. The fact that he does not think enough of you on your birthday, Valentine's day, Christmas, your "Anniversary", to buy you something nice speaks volumes!
This behavior is not normal, and shouldn't be tolerated.
If he's broke, then he should find some way to make enough as to get you something nice every once in a while. I don't care if he has to carve or paint something for you. Writing a poem is free also.
Does he have money issues? 4 years is a long time to not have bought you any gifts. He obviously has some issues.
But the real question is, is this the type of guy you want? You can't expect him to change. He is the way he is. Can you accept him the way he is?
You've given him 4 years to try to work things out with you. I would say that's more than enough time and chances. Maybe it's time for you to find someone who's more understanding of you, instead of torturing yourself by waiting for him to change.
the only thing he gave me which i will not even call a gift, are some expired body lotion, a shower gel and a very dirty teddy beer, on my birthday for that matter
When a person loves you, he does everything to please you. Giving an expired body lotion and very dirty teddy bear is appalling.
I think your real issue isn't so much the gifts (or lack thereof) but that fact that you're putting more effort into the relationship than he is. Does he show affection for you in other ways? Like taking you out to dinner, helping you out with household chores, changing the oil in your car maybe, things like that? If not, then you have a problem in that your boyfriend really doesn't sound like he's very committed to you.
I always think that actions speak louder than words.
If he does not show you in other ways that he cares about you, you should probably be seriously reconsidering your connection with this man.
If you are happy with your relationship otherwise, then perhaps a quiet word of advice in his ear about your birthday and the types of gifts you prefer might be warranted.
This must not be the first time you have thought about this, does he know that this is a problem?
A boyfriend would normally think about his girlfriend most of the time and serenade her with anything that would make her happy, this gives off a lot of signs that he's really taking you for granted, 4 years is a long time to have put up with this and i would be probably sitting down for a long hard talk with him, and if this isn't the first time you have told him showing him the door .
Gifts don't have to be expensive and the best ones are normally sentimental things that would mean something to the person, money is no excuse at all so i won't address it .
I agree with s_ciance. It's about you both putting equal effort into your relationship.
In my opinion, breaking up with him over a dirty teddy bear is not a good enough reason to break up with someone that you say you love. If the guy has money issues, cut him some slack.
My relationship with my fiance is so focused on our closeness and the building our relationship that we don't have time to freak out over giving each other presents. My man will also not get me a diamond for my wedding unless it is 100% conflict free. My engagement ring is gorgeous, but it is not a real diamond, I could be freaking out over how it's SUPPOSED to be REAL- but I care more about his commitment to me, than whether or not I have a diamond on my finger. In your case if you really love this guy, you wouldn't be stressing about whether he gave you expired lotion or unexpired lotion for your birthday- honestly, it's the thought that counts.
If you have to, ask him why he gave you that stuff- I doubt it's because he's tryin' to pick a fight- the guy is probably completely genuine and sincere and just wanted to get you something, plus he probably just couldn't afford anything else.
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