I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Mostly we have been extremely happy, although he claims the last 6 months have been rocky. He recently bought a house and was as excited as I was about me moving in with him. Then as the date to move in got closer he started suggesting that he live on his own for 2 weeks and I can slowly bring my things over.

However now that the place has been carpeted and painted and ready to move in, he has suddenly changed his mind, and 5 weeks later is still requesting that we make sure we "gel" before I move in. I know I am an emotional person, so I can overreact to this statement. But I still feel that after 4 years of being together we should know if we "gel" enough for our relationship to be taken to the next step. I have on many occasions broken down in front of him over this, telling him how degraded and unloved I feel not to mention embarrassed that my boyfriend can't decide if he is ready for me to move in with him. I have told him that I will not sleep over through the week as I am refusing to live out of my car so I only stay weekends. He hasn't given any reasons for not wanting me to live with him other than he is a logical person and I am an emotional person, and he sees that he doesn't want me to move my stuff in (which would only be a carload anyway) if we don't work and I have to move it all out again. I think this is a pathetic reason and have told him that playing house on the weekend is not going to answer that question for him seen as we aren't living in the real world. Last week I told him (and I know this is really low of me... ) that I am giving him a month, and in that month he needs to think about this relationship and where he wants it to go and we can talk about it then, but if after that month, if he still isn't ready after 2 months total for me to move in then I am walking away. He said that was a fair enough call... which only confuses the hell out of me! Then just this weekend, I had another break down, and told him I feel like I am going camping every weekend and I am sick of cramming my weekend into a canvas bag, and he said well why don't you start leaving stuff here. We also had a fight about our relationship because I have lost so much from it. I have always been a bubbly person and had a great circle of friends. Now my friends don't even invite me out anymore and I feel like inside my spark has gone and I have lost that bubbly personality that I have always had. I love him, and I am OK with these changes because I want to spend my life with him, but I won't be so OK with these changes if this is how my life is going to be. I feel like I should be planning my wedding with him, and not crying over him not wanting me to move in. I finished uni last year and scored a great job just recently, I am 22 and he is 27. I really feel that now is the time we should be planning our future and I am sick of going through these vicious cycles of fighting over the same thing. We fight because I want to move in, and that in turn makes him even more scared of me moving in because things aren't working, but things aren't working because I am tired of waiting for him to ask me to move in!

I would really like some perspective on this, particular from other guys or logical people! I know I am so emotional and I also know sometimes I am so busy looking for flaws and for the bad things that I miss the reality... Is he being uncommitted towards our relationship? Should I just do what he said and start leaving things there, till it gets to the point where I am just living there? I really feel like that is not how I planned it... I would have loved it to be from his heart telling me he wants me to be a permanent fixture in his life. But once again I know that is my emotions!