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I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. We both still live at home but only a few minutes away from each other. I always go see him (almost every night) and spend the night when I can. Most of the time a visit him in the evening and end up waiting on him to eat and shower before I have to go home because I work the next day. I knew going into the relationship that he didnt like to go out much or spend much but it never really bothered me until recently. He has been coming to my house for Thanksgiving and I usually spend Christmas Day at his house. For Christmas, I bought him, his parents and siblings gifts like I did last year. ( He didnt even stop at my house to wish my parents happy holidays, my parents talk to him a few times a year) I got a gift card from him, I thanked him but I thought he would make a effort to make up for a year of little things I do for him ( buy him). His mom spent more on me than he did but I dont want to make him feel bad. Two days after Christmas he spent over $500 on something for himself, which he always does. I wanted so badly to spend time with him since I had a week of but his friend was always over and I seemed just to be in the way. I spent the holiday break upset and I don't know what to do. I like his friend but he is always around. If his friend is over I dont even feel like going to see him because I know I will just be alone entertaining myself. I tell him how I feel so I will feel better but he never tries to do anything. I dont want to change him I just want him to make an effort. I feel like I am always mad but I love him so much. What should I do?
Yeah, first off communicate this to him, and see if it changes.
This seems like a one sided relationship, and he is taking your effort and generosity for granted. As long as you keep going out of your way to put all of this effort in, he will keep being the effortless boyfriend he is. So, talk, and go from there.
If seems like your putting more effort in this relationship then him but then again you knew how he was from the begining on only now his actions are starting to bother you. You want more and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't think you want much you just want time and to feel wanted. Well your best bet is to express your feelings to him and see his reaction. If nothing change then it's time to move on if your needs aren't being met. Also, I don't think you should be the one doing all the compromise because it will only leave you feeling sad and unwanted. Btw, what are your ages?
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