hello first of all thanks to anyone trying to help me figure this out.my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year.And i´ve always given hope to the matter that hes not cheap.Truth is he has a house car and bills to pay and an ok job for that, and should I be looking at the very little amount of money he spends on me. . . .for my birthday he gave me a walmart perfume.And lately for months now I have been paying for most of our entertainment.His response to when I tried to talk to him about it was well we dont have to be going out Im okay with just chilling with you here at the house.But I know we have to go out sometimes and those times I guess he doesn´,t have money.Ive also lent him money several times.I dont know but it´s affecting every aspect of our relationship.
Ya getting cheap gifts like Wal*Mart perfume would lend itself to cheapness. It probably would have been better had he not gotten anything.
I won't treat a girl to anything if I don't like her. Spending money, I believe, is an indicator of how much you like someone. But I don't think this is the case here, he just sounds cheap.
He does sound cheap, but if you need to lend him money, then he's got money issues.
It sounds more like he's short on cash. At least he's not spending on things that he can't afford.
Some guys don't like talking about their financial problems. But since you're lending money to him, you have to right to talk to him and help him figure out his financial situation.
Maybe he didn't know that Walmart perfume was crap?
I think not going out just because he wants to 'chill' is a bit of a spin though.
While yes, he may like just chilling at home it gets boring not at least going out for dinner once in a while.
My partner and I usually split things, we did progress in our relationship very quickly but by 1 year of dating we pretty much just pooled our money together into a joint 'going out' fund.
Men are inbred to the thought that we must PROVIDE for the women. Women rebel and say we are equals in everything.
So men say we need sex so we compromise on everything. So the man is no longer the head of the house hold although he feels deeply inside that he must provide for his woman but the woman is independent and does not need providing for.
So the "Men of this age" are now confused. We are expected to pay for the house and the car and the food and get no benefits of staying at home to enjoy our fruits of our labor.
Women - who use up to 10 times more words then men - are very social. They network better than men and require AFFECTION rather than sex as their number one need. Thus when the man says "I want to relax at home (unspoken - cause I have worked my off and I am tired and want to enjoy my own dam house that I paid for and now have no money to go out) they get balled out cause they used all their words already!!!
It is time to get "girlfriends" and go out with them and use up your words.
Men are all messed up and feel like we are letting our women down cause we have no money. So respect your man and have some mercy on us. Why does it always have to be about you women?
The man remembered to get you something and you were not even grateful enough to see that. you just come on here and at him - with out his knowing in a very unloving way - and expect us to tell you an answer...well here is it...
Suck it up and get used to it or get the hell out now cause he aint going to change. Women always think that they can change a man...it aint so...
there is a tv show expression...I am a man, I can change, if i HAVE to .... i guess.... ( from the red green show)
Men are inbred to the thought that we must PROVIDE for the women. Women rebel and say we are equals in everything.
So men say we need sex so we compromise on everything. So the man is no longer the head of the house hold although he feels deeply inside that he must provide for his woman but the woman is independent and does not need providing for.
So the "Men of this age" are now confused. We are expected to pay for the house and the car and the food and get no benefits of staying at home to enjoy our fruits of our labor.
Women - who use up to 10 times more words then men - are very social. They network better than men and require AFFECTION rather than sex as their number one need. Thus when the man says "I want to relax at home (unspoken - cause I have worked my off and I am tired and want to enjoy my own dam house that I paid for and now have no money to go out) they get balled out cause they used all their words already!!!
It is time to get "girlfriends" and go out with them and use up your words.
Men are all messed up and feel like we are letting our women down cause we have no money. So respect your man and have some mercy on us. Why does it always have to be about you women?
The man remembered to get you something and you were not even grateful enough to see that. you just come on here and at him - with out his knowing in a very unloving way - and expect us to tell you an answer...well here is it...
Suck it up and get used to it or get the hell out now cause he aint going to change. Women always think that they can change a man...it aint so...
there is a tv show expression...I am a man, I can change, if i HAVE to .... i guess.... ( from the red green show)
Once you generalize - "you women" or "us men" you lose me.
Same if you would use any race or religion in the place of "women" and "men."
Maybe this is how you think, how the woman in your life thinks - I don't.
This thread is better suited for a discussion board than an advice board.
I dont think he is cheap. he got you a gift. is that not good enough for you?? he could have gotten you NOTHING. in this day and age, EVERYONES bills and income are suffering.
give him some slack.
or if you feel you 'deserve better' than leave him and find someone else.
sorry to rant. but this just really struck a cord with me. please dont be angry. *hugs*
your boyfriend is a loser,he is not a man. how do you consider yourself in a relationship and be called a man,when you are borrowing money from your girlfriend. forget all that other info,he's just a typical loser. let him find his own way
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