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Hey am yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me i cant stop cryin i was with him alomost 3 months...and he texts me sayin i was think me and you should just be friends i could not stop cryin i dont know what to do with out him he only makes me happy i fell like killin my self now But he txt me today sayin are you ok im still here for ya and that if you need to talk..!! the reason i broke up with ya is because i think we would get on alot batter if we were just friends and see how we get on from there but i dont want that i want him back i was thinkin if me and him spend more time togather and do stuff that is nice could help us start again freash is there anyone that had any ideas for me to help please i really love him i dont want to be with out him some1 help me
Ok i understand your 'smitten' by him and obviously have feelings for him but come on, he dumps you after 3 months and you feel like killing yourself? That sounds a little obsessive to me. And i understand that breakups hurt and they are hard but you have to pick yourself up from the ground and deal with it.
I don't think it's a good idea to hang out with him right now, the wounds are fresh and he could hurt you again and it might be worse because then he's not trapped in the ''you two are dating thing'' anymore he can see whoever he likes and do whatever he likes now that you are broken up. So maybe try no contact for awhile.
This reminds me of one of my break ups. One of the worst.
I had a history of using guys. I met one that was a really nice guy, I adored him, I adored his friends, I loved hanging out with all of them.
We dated for 5 months when I was 17. He was older, 19, had his own apartment, it was great.
The thing is, I didn't realize that we were better friends then anything else.
He broke up with me and I was devastated.
For 1 week all I did was cry. For the next week all I did was try to find ways to win him back.
After one month of remaining friends, I realized that he was right. I also realized that I was only upset about losing him because I'd miss my friend, him, and his friends. It wasn't love.
Right now you need to go to No contact. You may be friends one day, but until you're over this it's not a good idea.
You will survive, it's something we've all been through, and yes, it hurts, it guts you, but you will feel better in time. Trust me.
3 months is way to short of a time. But the feelings run so high you think its love, but after a few more of these relationships in life you'll mature and truely understand love. Infatuation and relationshps like this have ur feelings run so high that it leaves u devestated and you think its the end all be all and prolly one of the hardest things you gotta do. you don't think with a clear head and whats really for the best. Infact it makes you afarid to think stright and face the truth because u know in the back of ur head u may not like it. Just take a deep breath. Chill out. Live live life for urself. I don't mean, be selfish, but you gotta be aware. Sometimes you just have to suck it up. And be friendsif you think its best and work ur way up from there. But there is no gaurentee. And when ur friends, don't put all ur time and energy into getting back together, but just sincerly be friends. Don't bother him, pester him, or begg to have him back. It will push him away make u seem low and u will look back at urself and feel horrible for begging. Let him know how u feel if anything but thats about it. whats ment to be will always happen. Sometimes you have to let things go and if it comes back to u, its urs, if not then it never was. Believe me when I say this but we have all been through this and time will truely heal. Truely. There are no mistakes in life only lessons. And by the end of this you would have surely leaarned a great lesson, whatever it was. I'm not saying it won't work out, but if it doesn't then it only means that there is better. If u feel like this now, than imagine how u will feel when the right one comes along? Think about the future.
No one can help u out of this, no matter how good of an advice they give you, you'll listen to it and get it but after a while you'll end up doing what u want and not heed to the advice. So just work you way out, however it may be. When u recover depends on you. You gotta get through this urself, but ofcourse we'll be there to help. Pretty soon you'll truely understand and maybe give advice urself. Its never easy, to anyone, but it happens to everyone so ur not alone.
Also, the being friends thing was a suggestion, don't be for a while, or ever, whatever works for you. But evnetually make sure to forgive him because thats when you let go and move on and not care. I agree with the answers above.
My ex and I broke up like about four months ago because he left town, it was hard at first and on time it got better. Though I kissed other guys and did stupid stuff like calling, texting or emailing him, I finally made it through. The most hurting thing was that two weeks after he left, he told me (cz we kept on being friens, which is actually not so bad, but I don't recommend it if you're not over the relationship.) that he was seeing this other girl he met on his new town.
My first reaction was really fake because he told me on msn, so I prettended to be just fine. Two weeks later he came for a visit and we went out with our friends and when we were alone in his car I couldn't help it but tell him the true.
So I did and he told me he didn't love me anymore, you can imagine my face when he did. I felt awful. After he left I called him and told him that this time I was going to take him out of my life for a while because I wasn't ready yet. We didn't speak for like a month and I felt better. Though I kept knowing all about his relationship with her through Facebook.
Anyway, I finally felt better, but come on, I had to go through so much! I know it hurts but breakups are so much easier than what they seem. So, I've selected what I call easy steps that might help you not only to finally get over the relationship but to show your ex you're fine with him having a new girlfriend.
1. Don't: call him, text, or Skype, msn, Facebook, Hi5, etc. Really try to cut off contact. I know this is hard, believe me, I do, we had a really long relationship (actually the longest one I ever had) . Especially because you're used to a rutine next to this person, so this is the only way to move on.
2. Try: to keep the best memories, who wants hard feelings anyway? Better think of the relationship as a good thing that had to end eventually. Though you know that if it ended, whatever the reason was, you are always off for a new and better start. This might sound like a cliché but believe me, you so diserve bettter.
3. DON'T, really DON'T kiss or sleep with other guys just to make you feel beter or for revenge. This is the most "anti-helpful" thing you can do and here are two simple reasons why: First, you are giving for free everything to a guy you don't care about and who probably doesn't care about you either. And last, your ex is going to find out and this are your chances: he might feel dissapointed of you and think about you as a and that's for sure something you don't want; he also will think (which is true, most of the time at least, because guys have such a huge ego) that you're doing this just to get back at him and he'll feel like he's the most important thing in your life.
4. Stop: thinking about getting over the breakup. This might sound crazy, but believe me, as soon as you stop thinking about getting over him, you will. Because, you are giving too much importance about getting over it that you're not.
5. Talk: When you really feel like you can talk to him, if you stayed friends offcourse, and you feel okay with the fact that he might (like just happened to me) tell you about how he told her he loved her or whatever thing about his new girl, go ahead talk to him. Men think they are so important in our lives that we can't face things without them or even face them. Well a true fact is that if you show him you're fine, and by showing I don't mean telling him "Hey, I'm doing fine!" nooo, I mean show him you've learned from the breakup and that there's no reason why not to stay friends. As well let him know that you actually think his new girlfriend is really pretty (this might sound as the craziest thing ever, but it worked for me). This way you'll show him that you are totally fine with it.
Well, that's it. I really hope that this works for someone. I wrote it because I made all this mistakes in the past and I didn't find anyone who will actually tell me some sort of steps for free and the books or online guidence or whatever had a price. So this is completely uninterested help. I'm not going to charge you for reading it, haha, I just hope to read some of your stories, opinions and suggestions. Maybe in this way we can help each other.
And last but not least, 6. Remmember: though you made a lot fo mistakes there's always time to show that you're doing fine. I'm sure you're a hottie, don't let anyone tell you either, but that's not the only thing. You're a great and smart girl. So what if he found a new girl, in time and with no pressure you'll find another guy aswell, who belive me will make you happier.
If he broke up with you after 3 months?
1. you obviously didn't set your relationship on a great foundation.
2. you fell for him way too soon (you were and still are thinking with your feelings- not with your head.)
3. you didn't think the relationship through, and neither did he, until now.
In my opinion- the best foundation you can set a relationship on IS friendship- after all, you want to be in a relationship with your best friend- not a stranger, and not an enemy. This guy has apparently caught himself, and wants to be friends. You need to respect his wishes. Don't hang out with him, and don't be so desperate to win this guy back because he makes you happy. Him making you happy, him making you feel nice, him saying all the right things and being a charming guy, does not equal love. Love is commitment- something this guy doesn't have, and something that you should have been looking for in the begining if you wanted this relationship to last. Pick yourself up, dry your tears, and learn from your mistakes.
My ex and I broke up like about four months ago because he left town, it was hard at first and on time it got better. Though I kissed other guys and did stupid stuff like calling, texting or emailing him, I finally made it through. The most hurting thing was that two weeks after he left, he told me (cz we kept on being friens, which is actually not so bad, but I don't recommend it if you're not over the relationship.) that he was seeing this other girl he met on his new town.
My first reaction was really fake because he told me on msn, so I prettended to be just fine. Two weeks later he came for a visit and we went out with our friends and when we were alone in his car I couldn't help it but tell him the true.
So I did and he told me he didn't love me anymore, you can imagine my face when he did. I felt awful. After he left I called him and told him that this time I was going to take him out of my life for a while because I wasn't ready yet. We didn't speak for like a month and I felt better. Though I kept knowing all about his relationship with her through Facebook.
Anyway, I finally felt better, but come on, I had to go through so much! I know it hurts but breakups are so much easier than what they seem. So, I've selected what I call easy steps that might help you not only to finally get over the relationship but to show your ex you're fine with him having a new girlfriend.
1. Don't: call him, text, or Skype, msn, Facebook, Hi5, etc. Really try to cut off contact. I know this is hard, believe me, I do, we had a really long relationship (actually the longest one I ever had) . Especially because you're used to a rutine next to this person, so this is the only way to move on.
2. Try: to keep the best memories, who wants hard feelings anyway? Better think of the relationship as a good thing that had to end eventually. Though you know that if it ended, whatever the reason was, you are always off for a new and better start. This might sound like a cliché but believe me, you so diserve bettter.
3. DON'T, really DON'T kiss or sleep with other guys just to make you feel beter or for revenge. This is the most "anti-helpful" thing you can do and here are two simple reasons why: First, you are giving for free everything to a guy you don't care about and who probably doesn't care about you either. And last, your ex is going to find out and this are your chances: he might feel dissapointed of you and think about you as a and that's for sure something you don't want; he also will think (which is true, most of the time at least, because guys have such a huge ego) that you're doing this just to get back at him and he'll feel like he's the most important thing in your life.
4. Stop: thinking about getting over the breakup. This might sound crazy, but believe me, as soon as you stop thinking about getting over him, you will. Because, you are giving too much importance about getting over it that you're not.
5. Talk: When you really feel like you can talk to him, if you stayed friends offcourse, and you feel okay with the fact that he might (like just happened to me) tell you about how he told her he loved her or whatever thing about his new girl, go ahead talk to him. Men think they are so important in our lives that we can't face things without them or even face them. Well a true fact is that if you show him you're fine, and by showing I don't mean telling him "Hey, I'm doing fine!" nooo, I mean show him you've learned from the breakup and that there's no reason why not to stay friends. As well let him know that you actually think his new girlfriend is really pretty (this might sound as the craziest thing ever, but it worked for me). This way you'll show him that you are totally fine with it.
Well, that's it. I really hope that this works for someone. I wrote it because I made all this mistakes in the past and I didn't find anyone who will actually tell me some sort of steps for free and the books or online guidence or whatever had a price. So this is completely uninterested help. I'm not going to charge you for reading it, haha, I just hope to read some of your stories, opinions and suggestions. Maybe in this way we can help each other.
And last but not least, 6. Remmember: though you made a lot fo mistakes there's always time to show that you're doing fine. I'm sure you're a hottie, don't let anyone tell you either, but that's not the only thing. You're a great and smart girl. So what if he found a new girl, in time and with no pressure you'll find another guy aswell, who belive me will make you happier.
how do u feel about that? Like was that wise? Because I absolutly despise the guy. I don't want anything to do with him. I feel like he's really low and not worthy of me. But I always worry about what he thinks of me.
I left a comment on your post, I couldnt fit it all there haha so I'm asking here.
Haha, glad you agree, probably he is a jerk, but you know you can show him how much he has lost by letting you go, so just let him know you don't care, (though offcorse we do care hehe, but we don't want to make them feel so important ;P) Hope we can keep on talking
You are not able to be his friend right now due to your feelings toward him. Don't think for one minute being friends means starting over because it doesn't always happen that way. Your only be setting yourself up.
The wound is fresh right now but if you can overcome this if once you give the wound enough time to heal.
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