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    frustrated119's Avatar
    frustrated119 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 9, 2007, 10:53 PM
    Best friend's ex
    Hi, I have a best friend who went out with a girl I know for about a year and a half, and started seeing another girl immediately afterwards (it's been about 6+ months at this point), and I've been pretty good friends with her ever since he introduced me. I've always sort of had a thing for her and now it seems like she might want to go out with me. She's recently been a lot more open about her personal life, and I really feel like she listens when I talk to her. I've been thinking about asking her out, but it's a really tough decision because me and my best friend are really tight. I know there's the unwritten best friend rule about ex's, but I just really think that shouldn't come between my relationship with this girl. If I were to ask her out I would definitely talk about it with my friend, but I'm really not sure whether going out with her is the right thing. Any suggestions? :confused:
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #2

    Jul 9, 2007, 10:55 PM
    If you feel a connection with her I don't see any reason why you should overlook it. Just make sure your best friend is OK with this before you pursue it any further, because these types of things tend to break up friendships :)
    rankrank55's Avatar
    rankrank55 Posts: 1,259, Reputation: 177
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    #3

    Jul 9, 2007, 10:59 PM
    I agree with nauticalstar, if you really dig this girl then express this to your friend! More than likely he will understand and it won't be a big deal. It didn't sound like he was too into her in the first place anyway. Good luck!
    frustrated119's Avatar
    frustrated119 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 9, 2007, 11:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by rankrank55
    It didn't sound like he was too into her in the first place anyways. Good luck!
    Actually I forgot to mention that there was a period a few months back where he was going to break up with his current girlfriend and get back together with his ex. I still don't really know if he is totally over her, and he might be sensitive to me going out with her. Ehh, I guess that doesn't really change things, I should still talk with him about it, but I mean what if he gets pissed off or whatever? I really like this girl but at the same time I don't want to risk losing my best friend for the last 5 years
    rankrank55's Avatar
    rankrank55 Posts: 1,259, Reputation: 177
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    #5

    Jul 9, 2007, 11:11 PM
    Yeah, there is a chance it could make him made but you have to weigh your options. If you don't talk to him about it you will be stuck still liking this girl and not being able to do anything about it. At least if you ask him and it bothers him you can know whether you need to forget about her or not.
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #6

    Jul 9, 2007, 11:11 PM
    Don't throw out a 5 year friendship. If he gets upset about it, I would suggest not asking the girl out. Like everyone says, there are lots of fish in the sea, but it can take a lifetime to find one good best friend! :)
    iAMfromHuntersBar's Avatar
    iAMfromHuntersBar Posts: 943, Reputation: 146
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    #7

    Jul 9, 2007, 11:57 PM
    I've just been in this situation, but the other way around (so I'm in your best friends position) and I can tell you that even if he seems OK with it, he might not be!

    You said it yourself;

    Quote Originally Posted by frustrated119
    I know there's the unwritten best friend rule about ex's...
    I'd leave it well alone if you value your friendship! Plus, mate, your best friend has already been there! How strange would that be to know! :confused:

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