My boyfriend sometimes talks about girls that he know and some that he dated. He talks about how they are pretty and attractive or sometimes about their body...it bothers me but when i say something to him he gets mad and says its no big thing. What should i do?

ylaira

How do you voice out ur feelings by the way?Normally its how u say it. When ur mad, ur guy will be mad too. But if u talk lovingly and try to be positive, that's the one they understand. Say like "Honey, u really have this eye on beauty and I knw u love me. I would appreciate more if you will minimize talking about "that".Im just not comfortable hearing it."

N0help4u

I don't think the tone in your voice helps much when someone is already very defensive over something.
But when you put it in the I feel instead of the you always then that may work because it can minimize their defense mechanism, but I have known people that didn't even work with.

Next time he says something about an old female friend or ex say something like, "Yeah, I know EXACTLY what you mean my friend -Jack- did that exact same thing".

tropikool

tell him it bothers you, sounds like hes trying make you jealous or something, he needs to grow up and forget about the past and move on!

JBeaucaire

Why does it have to be bothersome? Girls are attractive. They ARE!

Dating someone, even dating someone seriously (are you two even that serious?) doesn't make you blind to the beauty of others. Talking to YOU about it could be useful, you know? Every guy notices other women and usually supress it. Some don't, some talk to their girl about everything.

But some do bad things with those attractions and screw up their relationships, or just cheat. He's noticing and talking to you about it. He's still your guy, he's talking to YOU, this could be useful information, couldn't it?

Other than it making you uncomfortable, what harm does it do? Everything new makes someone uncomfortable, so is his honesty and freedom with you something you could get comfortable with? It may take time, but could you?

debbiedaniel81

hi brittany124

i think you should tackle the problem head on. Don't shout or scream at him just calmliy tell him it bothers you. When you confronted him about it before he may not have been taking you seriously, and therefore thinks thats it ok to keep doing it. If talking calmly doesnt work then try a little role reversal and tell him about the hot guy u "bumped" into ont he street today. Tell him how cute he was and how hot his body was and see how he likes it. If this doesn't work then you will have to seriously think long and hard about whether you can stay with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable with his actions. everyone in a relationship will look at other people but what REALLY counts is he is not acting on it. If that happens kick him out the door.

hope this helps.

fjsmith81

DO NOT TELL HIM IT BOTHERS YOU. Honey just act like you don't care. A lot of men say things to see how their girlfriends react to situations like that. When he says that girl is hot or she has a nice body simply shrug and say ok or your right. I would go a step further and start talking about how attractive another man is. I don't think that he would like it that much and he just might get the hint. Overall men want to see how secure a woman is with herself. That is why they do and say things like that. My ex-boyfriend is a director in la and he works around beautiful women all day and intially he would comment on those women and i would agree with him and eventually after he saw that i didn't care he started telling me that i was the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen. (he is only my ex because of the long term relationship thing)

wataboutnow

Just tell him that it hurts you and if he cant understand that then he is immature and you might want to look at your relationship. Just tell him to do the looking with his friends.

kimdeelee

tell him very calmly how that hurts u i'm going through the same thing wiht my man but he comments about women on tv and i can't stand it but i did tell him how i felt about and he has stopped (for now)

kimdeelee

or if that doesn't work give him a taste of his own medicine and see how he likes it