I met this guy 3 months ago, he lives in Atlanta and I live in NJ. Our fathers have been friends for 11 years. We talk and I really care about him, he claims to really care about me as well. We are not officially boy friend and girl friend but when he comes home to visit and someone says “is that your sister?” he says “no that’s my girl”. I know that he talks to one other girl in Atlanta that I know about because I’ve asked. He said that they are not in a relationship or together but he does care about her. He seems to be genuine; he kisses me in public, tells random people walking down the street how much he likes me and introduces me to his friends. He is 22 and I am 19, am I thinking too much into this or should I be worried that he talks to other people? Is a little friendly competition OK being that she was around before I was? Or is he more serious with this other girl than what he is telling me? How long should I talk to him while he is talking to other girls?

You say you aren't his girlfriend, but he does call you his girl. And if he's kissing you in public, heck he is your boyfriend! If you are worried about this other girl, ask him straight away. And if you cannot trust him, then keep your distance. That way if he's playing you, he won't get a chance.

But you are in a really early stage of a relationship, so it's hard to tell. Just be cautious to not get too involved until you are sure of this other girl being just a friend.

I think it comes down to a matter of trust, which is the cornerstone to any relationship.

He's telling you that this other girl is a friend, and only that. Or am I misreading your post? He has told you that they're not in a relationship, but that he does care about her. Well, I care about my friends. I'm sure most people do.

Have you asked him what his relationship is with this girl? Have you asked him what his relationship is with you? If he says they're just friends, then you have to decide. Do you trust him, or not? If it's no, then you find someone else. No trust, no relationship. That's the way it is.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ed-630623.html

Is this the same guy that you posted about in the above link, and another link in December?

No it's not the same guy. The guy in the post from December was an on again off again fling for a few years. Well I asked the new guy if he was talking to anyone else and he said he does talk to someone in Atlanta, he says that's it's not his girl friend and they are not in a relationship but he does care about her. I always joke around and say I am his second girlfriend and he always brushes it off and laughs or thinks its funny. I try not to ask straight forward because I don't want to scare him away. We met for the first time in January and have hung out 4 times since then because he lives so far. He graduates and moves home in may and last time we were together he was talking about all of the things we are going to do over the summer. By the way he was tagged in a few pictures of him and her from two different events. No one every comments on them and he has a lot of pictures with girls on his page but I know that this particular girl is the one he says he is talking too. My question is which would tell me all that I need to know….. How would she feel if she knew about me? If she didn't care than that would mean they aren't serious but if she's really upset than something is up.

Well if he has lots of pictures with this girl, your doubts are justified. She could either be his girlfriend, or at least a potential love interest.

He could be playing the two of you, and then chose who he finds better. There's something about a player, he'll treat you like a princess when he's around you, but he'll treat other girls like princesses too when he's around them!

While I am not saying that this guy is a player, I am just making a point that players are really good charmers.

There are two ways to go, either ask him out straight or do a little more investigation on his life in Atlanta. But in the mean time, don't give in to his charms.

I'd go with asking straight questions, it's better to ask him and scare him off, than to be in doubt and suffer later. And he's kissed you in public girl! You've got all the rights to ask him questions.

Thank you I think when the time is right I am going to ask where he and this girl stand. The tricky part is he has pictures with lots of girls on his face book he is a very social person. The catch is that I don't have a face book so we do take pictures together but I can't tag him in them because I don't have a face book so I can't even see what type of reaction they would get. Also if I decide not to ask and just observe I will see in June how things play out when he comes home for good since he graduates. Why is dating so hard. Do you know how when people are young they date different people until they settle into a girlfriend or boyfriend I guess he is just being young. Also this girl was in the picture before him and I even met he says they talk on and off but just never took in there because they are both so busy. Who knows! I just like him and don't want to get hurt.

A better question to ask him is where the two of you stand. Because if it's not this girl, it could be another girl. It's better to be clear on what your situation is with him, so that you can act accordingly.

For example, if you and him are exclusive and he does not intend to date anyone else, then I think that you have to decide on whether you trust him talking to other people.

But if you're in an open relationship, the things are still up for grabs.

Better to be clear on what your relationship is with each other first before you move on to the next step.