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-   -   I am a balding guy, will 'pretty' girls avoid me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=71495)

  • Mar 13, 2007, 01:29 AM
    ace1978
    I am a balding guy, will 'pretty' girls avoid me?
    Ok. I have a question that most of you will probably laugh at because it is pretty superficial. Anyway, now that I'm in the dating scene after my relationship ended two months ago, I'm very worried!

    I'm 28 and losing my hair at a rapid pace! Now let me give you a little background before I pose my question. I've always been an above average looking guy with a good sense of humor and have never really had trouble finding girls to date.

    I usually date pretty girls by most people's standards and I am pretty picky. My worry is this: As bad and superficial as this sounds I feel like I'm never going to be able to date another good looking woman again because of my hair loss. Keep in mind however that I now shave it very close so it actually looks pretty good. I've been blessed with a very round head, which bodes well for the shaved look.

    Its weird, when I wear a baseball hat and the girls don't know I'm losing my hair, I have no problem talking and gaining their interest. However, if I'm at a wedding or something where I can't wear a hat, the girls seem to shy away.

    I've just lost a lot of confidence from this. I know a lot of the responses I will get will say, "if a girl cares that much about your hair, she isn't worth your time." I realize this, however, it does not change my taste in women.

    Like I said, I usually go after the cute ones. I don't think bald is cute to the cute ones if you catch my drift.

    So my question is do good looking women give bald guys the time of day? I just felt like before this hair loss if I went up to a girl, I had a great shot. Now I feel like if there is a guy talking to her at a bar, and I walk up, she's going to be like, "dude you have no hair, get the hell out of here!"

    Now I realize a girl would most likely not treat me that bad, but you get the picture. I'm just very worried.

    Girls, can you give me some advice. BE brutaly honest, don't spare my feelings please. How does a bald guy compete in this gel-haired, spikey-haired dating world?

    Thank you very much!
  • Mar 13, 2007, 02:01 AM
    Mommy2gio
    They probably shy away from you because they can sense that your insecure where as you are probably more confident when you are wearing a hat. Honestly I like when my husband shaves his head(well cuts it so short it looks bald). It's kind of funny cause I am not worried about what he will look like when he's old and bald because I already know.lol
    Just be confident and women will flock to that not your hairstyle.
  • Mar 13, 2007, 03:05 AM
    JoeCanada76
    If you keep it neat and shaved you have nothing to worry about. Many Many women find baldness in a man actually a turn on.
  • Mar 13, 2007, 07:23 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    It is all in how you present yourself, while of course a few very shallow girls will not want a person with less hair but at least you have weeded them out before you waste your time on them.

    The issue is what you think about yourself and you having bought into this I have to look 20 and buff to be popular.
  • Mar 13, 2007, 07:38 AM
    Synnen
    My husband shaves his head and I LOVE it. I keep trying to convince my best friend (also male) to keep his head shaved too.

    I love the look!

    However... I'm probably not the kind of girl that you would care about anyway... I'm not "cute" by society's standards (in other words, I don't wear a size 6, have perky boobs, or worry about what my hair and makeup look like).

    If you're going to be superficial about it, then yes, you're probably going to get shot down more often than you used to be. Part of that is loss of confidence, yes, but part of it is that the type of girl you are describing is also oftentimes superficial.
  • Mar 13, 2007, 07:43 AM
    tinsign
    There are a lot of bald guys that I think are very handsome and yes sexy also. Bet if you lose that insecurity when you don't have a hat on they be eyeing you.
    Also lose the type that just judge on appearances because trust me those women are not what you truly want in the long run.
  • Mar 13, 2007, 08:22 AM
    ghost56
    I think there are many sexy good looking bald guys. You only need to look at some of the famous guys who are bald, many actuall shave their hair off because it ca look so good. Stop worrying about what you think and be proud of how you look.
  • Mar 13, 2007, 08:32 AM
    valinors_sorrow
    I think the adage "Its not what you've got but how you wear it" counts here.

    I am married to someone with a lovely head of hair but he has the bad skin of untreated teenage acne. He still turns heads. He looks a great deal like Ray Liotta (who also has bad skin).

    I never dated someone bald or with a shaved head (I was off the market before that style went mainstream) but a man with a healthy lifestyle, great personality and a decent body, it honestly wouldn't slow me down one bit... if I were single.
  • Mar 14, 2007, 01:45 AM
    freebird1981
    If my partner went bald (and it's a possability as his dad is) there is no way it would change a thing for me,I didn't fall for his hair lol,there's much more to it, as long as you have confidence it shouldn't matter,and if the girls you are interested in don't want to know in my opinion they arnt right for you to start with
  • Jul 12, 2007, 04:32 PM
    earl237
    Just act confident and women will not be turned off. Sean Connery was voted world's sexiest man at 59 and he went bald very young.
  • Sep 10, 2007, 11:35 AM
    olderbutwiser
    You have really got to up your game especially if you are in your twenties. I lost hair in early twenties and had not really had any female experience even though I was a very good athlete(basketball/tennis) and student. A slow starter with girls for sure as were my friends. All of the sudden, out of the house, in my own place and starting to go to parties/events socially and seemingly blown out of water by with girls guys with a full head of hair and little else(even living at home). Took some chances, bought some property(including rentals)by 26 and trained for Olympic length triathlon- got MBA. Finally had some luck (by mid 20's) and eventually married, kids, etc. Now that there is internet, it fascinates me to Google "baldness dating" and find out the incredible predjudice against bald men, esp in 20's that nobody spoke about (but I sensed). You will have to be twice as good as your competition, the good news is that it is good to be competent or better anyway. I did have some sleepless nights wondering if I would ever turn it around. Shaving out of the question in late 70's early 80's but would have been an interesting option(but not suggested for white collar job type). Up your game.
  • Sep 10, 2007, 11:38 AM
    olderbutwiser
    One other thing, you will hear a lot from woman already married to bald guys who say don't worry- but those guys were not bald in 20s but became bald AFTER marriage or with older marriages. Also, you will hear Bruce Willis, Agassi, and Sean Connery again and again- with 3 billion men in the world that is not encourageing. You must up your game and anticipate hesitance and second guessing and have a plan.
  • Sep 10, 2007, 11:51 AM
    Synnen
    Actually... my husband WAS balding in his 20s--he started losing hair in his teens, actually.

    It's all in how you treat it, really. If you're confident, and don't avoid it, you'll be fine.

    If you are ashamed, and try to hide it, and essentially lose confidence because of it--well, who wants to date someone who isn't confident in themselves?
  • Feb 13, 2008, 11:53 PM
    FallenFromGrace
    God I love Sean Connery, and he could be my grandfather. Yeah, shave it all the way off, be proud of it and it won't be a problem. I love a man with a shaved head. Any dude that has nicer hair than I has got to go.
  • Dec 4, 2008, 01:43 AM
    krass
    Sorry if I sound unsympathetic, but they do say what goes around comes around. These girls who were not cute enough for you to bother with, now you know how they feel. Now there are girls looking at you and thinking 'he's not cute enough'. The boot is on the other foot as they say.

    As you get older it becomes less of a problem. I'm not sure if it is a case of older ladies becoming less choosy or less shallow.
  • Dec 4, 2008, 09:56 AM
    liz28

    I don't know what type of woman you're looking for but maybe you need change the type of woman you are looking for or go about a different way and search for something else besides just looks.

    I think a bald head like nice only on some guys because every guy can't sport a bald head. My fiancé for one can't he shave his head bald and I couldn't wait for it grow back because with a bald head he looks sick. On the other my brother has a bald head and looks great.

    Some women actually has a fetish for bald headed guys just like some guys has a fetish for women with long hair.
  • Apr 22, 2009, 10:19 AM
    jtharris74
    Bro I feel you. I lost my hair when I turned 20. When I mean I lost it, it honestly looked as if someone shaved the top of my head off over night. I tried the whole keep trying aspect despite countless "one-two week" relationships after I turned 20. Soon as they figured out when the hat came off that I was bald, they would just disappear and not talk to me anymore. 7 relationships went this way, I finally met a girl my last semester in college that was very cute and very into me despite the fact my bald flaw, unfortunately I consumed myself with doubt so much to fact that I pushed her away thinking she too would do the same thing. When I think about it now, she wouldn't of, but this is now and that was then. Since then I took a break and just concentrated on studies. After I graduated it was the same ol song and dance back in my hometown. No girl would stick around or in most cases even give me a chance. I just gave it up. To me it wasn't worth the sadness anymore with the whole just want to be friends routine.

    Any goofball can tell it's about what's on the inside that counts and while this does hold all the truth in the world, and I to want a person who I like on many different levels other than looks, the world sadly is a harsh place where people do judge you on what you look like, despite the crap they spew from their mouths. That doesn't mean there isn't someone out their for you, it just means its going to be that much harder for you, but on the bright side if you do ever find that someone, the chances are they won't be shallow and they will be that much more special than the other 90% of the people on this planet.
  • Apr 23, 2009, 10:54 AM
    bc472556

    My roommate is dating a guy who is bald, has a red beard and is 6 inches shorter then her. Not only is she blonde, 5'11 and beautiful she is also in love with him.

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