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Home > Family & People > Dating   »   13 dating 16

 
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Old May 5, 2008, 12:34 PM
ChezzyBear
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13 dating 16

im 13 and theres a guy that i really like and i know that he really likes me to, and i want to know if its even legal for me and him to date since he's 16, im allot more mature then most girls my age and i actually think logically, but if its illegal then that won't even matter right?

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Old May 5, 2008, 12:56 PM   #2  
450donn
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The only time it matters is if sex is involved. Personally 13 is way too young to be thinking about dating. Wait a couple more years and enjoy your youth.
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Old May 5, 2008, 01:08 PM   #3  
MommyLeah
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I agree with 450donn, you may be really mature for your age but you are way too young and if the guy is 16 and interested in you, then it is most likely about the sex. Or he is desperate. I am not saying that you are amazing and worth it, but Most 16 year olds don't look for that young of a person unless they want something and in that case you will get in trouble. Try to find a guys to just hang out with and be friends for now. You'll be surprised how much happier you will be not getting into that relationships so early in your life. You have so much time to be an adult.
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Old May 7, 2008, 07:22 AM   #4  
ChezzyBear
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the thing is, is that my last boyfriends were all like 17 to 20, which i know is definetly illeagal, and they all pretty much took advantage of me, but the 16 year old is a sweetheart and we were going out for a while but we both thought it was illeagal so we broke up and yeah he says he's willing to wait but i know that things change in time...
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Old May 7, 2008, 07:34 AM   #5  
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Ask your parents if they are ok with it.

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Lief_of_Del agrees: exactly, dont do anything you cant tell your parents about
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Old May 7, 2008, 09:26 AM   #6  
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If you are more mature than most 13 year olds, then sex is absolutely the biggest problem. Early maturization is the source of so many of these sad stories of young love ending up in tragedy and jail, and it's completely avoidable.

You can be proud of your early maturity, but you are a target as a result. You just are. As sweet as it feels having 16 years "like" you, it's not natural and most assuredly physical attraction to you is a big part of it.

At 13 you may feel mature, but you're not. You're inexperienced and very innocent. That means you will easily be manipulated by your own feelings and the kind attentions of boys. You are YEARS away from being able to fully control your own impulses (they're natural, right?), much less those of big strong boys.

So, my recommendation is you feel good about the attraction, but practice your first adult concept - self-denial. Put off dating 16 year olds until your 16.

You keep a LOT of unnecessary and potentially dangerous (you won't think it's dangerous, you'll have to trust us) situations from hurting you by always, always, ALWAYS including your parents in your decision-making on this stuff. They are 100% accountable for everything you do until you leave home, so their love for you, their experience and their responsibility puts them in a unique position to help you the most accurately.

And no one knows you as well as them. They may surprise you...not by letting you do dangerous things like dating a 16 year old when you're 13, but in other ways with the way they guide you and the way the openly help with understanding them.

Good luck, dear. It's tough feeling like a grownup surrounded by children. But that is no reason to engage in risky experiments.
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Old May 7, 2008, 10:34 AM   #7  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChezzyBear
the thing is, is that my last boyfriends were all like 17 to 20, which i know is definetly illeagal, and they all pretty much took advantage of me,

This tells me you are not as mature as you think you are. That you would date boys that age at 12 and 13 is not a mature decision. And you were taken advantage of and went back and did it again!.

There are no laws governing dating. What's illegal is having sex with someone under the age of consent (and you are under the age of consent in most places). But just dating is not illegal.

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MommyLeah agrees: You are not that mature , if you have already put yourself in bad situations!
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Old May 7, 2008, 06:15 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by codelle1
I'm 17, so I know what Im talking about with the whole age maturity thing.

<crickets>

<crickets>

I am TRYING not burst into laughter, here, people...and I am failing.


(side note - sometimes 17 is too young, too...)
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Old May 7, 2008, 06:37 PM   #9  
Fr_Chuck
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Basicly at 13 there is no such thing as mature, you may be better than other 13 but you are not mature enough to be dating period, and past mistakes should be obvoiius, I am sure you beleived the others sweathearts at some point.
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Old May 7, 2008, 06:43 PM   #10  
CFZD
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Maturity is mostly built on experience and realization.

You are probably more mature than the girls at your age, hun. However, there are things that you haven't been through yet b/c of your age.

At your age, you love easily! You probably have a crush on him, it will die soon, trust me!

And also, even if you are mature, how about that boy? It takes two people to build a relationship, are you sure he is ready?
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